DATE ARCHIVES : January 2018

Read by Example

Read by Example

If your child is in elementary school, chances are reading is part of their nightly homework. While my kids truly do enjoy reading, getting them to do it after a day of school and other homework isn’t easy, to put it mildly.

I can’t say I blame them really. After I write all day, the last thing I want to do is more writing at night! As much as I want to tell them I totally get where they’re coming from on the reading thing, adulting must happen which means I must encourage reading.

After realizing that telling them to read wasn’t really cutting it, I had an “a-ha” moment. You see, I always complain I don’t have time to read or that I’m too tired. One of my many resolutions this year is to try to read more. What better way than to do it with my kids? I get to read, they get to read, and there’s peace and quiet in the house, even if it’s just for ten minutes.

I wasn’t sure they were going to buy it at first, but I pitched it anyway.

“How about we all read for ten to fifteen minutes tonight together?”

Blank stares followed by, “What do you mean?”

“I mean we all pick a comfy spot, grab a book and just read…together…but by ourselves. You read your book, I read my book, but we’re all doing it at the same time.”

Silence.

“Okay, sure…and then we can tell each other what we read,” chimes in my oldest.

Praise Jesus! Maybe you are my kid after all!

“Yes, that sounds like a good idea,” I answer.

So, we read…together…but by ourselves for about 15 minutes. When we’re done, my kids actually do start talking about what they read. It’s working, it’s really working!

I follow the rules too and tell them about my book…which means no reading any “50 Shades” type of stuff with them.

The next day we didn’t have our reading time because we were doing other things. I know, I know, after only one day and I screw it up!

Before all hope is lost, my kids tell me at night, “Hey, we forgot to do our reading. Can we do it tomorrow?”

Amen and Alleluia! I didn’t screw it up…yet!

It’s always the little things that really turn into the big things when you’re a parent.

Why 2018 Should be the Year of You

As moms we tend to put everyone else’s needs in front of our own, and that includes Barbie who always gets her hair knotted in her elastic and needs help buttoning her pants.

Why do we do this? Is it just a case of our mothering nature? Maybe it’s a part of that unspoken oath we all took on the delivery table as we gave birth. Whatever the case, it can leave a momma downright exhausted and feeling empty.

That’s why it’s time to let 2018 be the year of you.

Isn’t it time to give yourself some of that energy you so quickly give to others? Sure, it’s easier said than done. I always say I’m going to do it and then something happens. Who’s fault is that? Is it my kids? Is it Barbie’s fault? No, it’s my own. I’m not saying we, myself included, need to start being narcissists and let our kids fend for themselves 24/7, but a little more self-care never hurt. After all don’t all the experts say you need to be happy and take care of yourself before you can make anyone else happy? I know I’ve heard that countless times before.

That’s where choice comes into play. I’m a firm believer in choice. We all make choices and those choices affect how we live our lives and how we feel about ourselves. If you choose to forego that workout because you’re afraid your kids will miss you too much and no one will be able to do Barbie’s hair like you do, that’s on you. We all know how guilty our kids can make us feel. Plus, Barbie can wait. She’s not going anywhere. But, think about how bad you’re going to feel if you miss that workout you so desperately want. You may become so resentful that you end up taking out your frustrations on your kids instead of zumbaing it out. Get to the gym!

What about skipping out on that date night with your significant other just because the thought of getting a babysitter is exhausting? Trust me, they’ll survive. That time away is a good thing. It gives everyone a much needed time out and time to refresh. I always feel like I’m a better parent once I’ve had some “time off”. Sometimes you need a break, even if it’s just a quick dinner out for a couple of hours. Go out!

When you become a parent your hobbies seem to get lost in the Legos if you know what I mean. I used to be an avid reader, and not of kid’s picture books…of books with actual chapters and paragraphs longer than two sentences. It used to relax me and give me a much needed escape. Why did I stop? I could blame it on my kids, but it really was my choice. I chose to do other things, like folding clothes, putting dishes away, etc. with whatever free time I had. If 2018 is going to be the year of me, it means more reading too. Get reading!

Another “mom thing” seems to be the incessant need to say “yes” to every invitation you and your kids receive. You wouldn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, would you? What about your feelings? What about what you want? I’ve learned the hard way that it’s okay to say no. Quite frankly, no one really cares if you make it to their event as much as you think they do. Ouch! I know that’s hard to hear, but it’s the truth. Sometimes free time is more important than taking your child to a birthday party of a classmate she hardly knows just because she wants to be nice. Get used to saying no!

I think by doing these little things or whatever else you’ve been neglecting can truly help you make 2018 the year of you. What do you say?