Do you want waffles for breakfast? No. Do you want to put your clothes on? No. Do you want to go shopping? No. Have you guessed what my least favorite word is these days? Yes, it’s no. I have come to despite one of the most common words in the English language. Why? Because that is all I hear these days.
Is it just a coincidence that my daughter has turned two and this has become her most spoken word (in addition to hi and ma, which she yells out like Stewy on Family Guy, which has also become annoying)? I’m sure (or at least I think) it all fits in perfectly with her becoming her own little person and forming her own little attitude. I just wish I didn’t have to suffer in the process.
My favorite use of the word “no” is when she repeats it like she’s a CD skipping. Add a little whining in with it and you have the perfect recipe for a migraine headache with boiling blood pressure. Bake at 350 and presto…a good combo for a woman who is about to give birth in less than a month. It’s like she knows exactly what buttons to press when she starts belting out the word. If I’m lucky, after all the no’s I get a little feet stomping and on a real good day, she’ll start to lay down on the floor. I know you’re jealous. Sometimes I try to ignore it, sometimes I yell, sometimes I try to rationalize with her (ha ha). No matter what I do, the answer is still no. Sometimes I even start repeating the word in her face. That doesn’t seem to have the same effect on her as it does on me.
I tell myself, I can’t wait for her to master the word “yes”. Although she’ll probably use it when she wants to say no anyway. Either way, I’m kinda stuck. A lot of people have told me this kind of thing happens when kids learn how to talk. Is there anyway to stop them? I think you know the answer…no.
POST CATEGORY : Mommy Laughs
Calgon Take Me Away!
It’s been a long day. I’ve been up for almost 18 hours. I just want to lay on the couch and catch up on my three episodes of “Glee” that are in the DVR. But, that’s just not going to happen. It’s the witching hour. Moms, Dads, you know what I’m talking about. It’s the time just after your child’s bath, just before bedtime, when they have somehow gotten their second wind and are ready to party like Steven Tyler from Aerosmith. It’s the time when your speed is set more like Barry Manilow’s “Mandy.” It’s time for bed…A.K.A. mom’s chill time.
I try to give the “let’s chill” signal by dimming the lights and getting my daughter a little snack. We do a little reading which is always the same book because that’s what she loves. I wish she would realize it’s no longer Valentine’s Day and Elmo has figured out who sent him “this beautiful valentine.” But that’s o.k. It’s really cute the way she gets excited each time we read it like she’s never heard the story before. Sometimes this works, other times, I try to lay down while she tries to pull me off the coach with all her little might. She gets frustrated. I get frustrated. She starts to cry. I feel like I want to cry. What on God’s green earth could you possible want? You’re clean. You’ve being fed. Most times, you’ve had a pretty good day with lots of playing and attention. Can’t Mommy just chillax? Ha! Yeah, No.
Since I wake up for work when most people are enjoying their sleep, my couch/DVR time is really limited and precious.Sometimes I get up to see what she wants, other times I just let her work it out herself. Meantime, I’ve paused “Glee” on the DVR for the third time. If my husband is home, he can see the frustration building. I can feel horns coming out of head and the female dog inside me is barking to come out. It kinda feels like Michael J. Fox in “Teen Wolf.” (but not nearly as funny) You just can’t control it. And bam…it happens. I start yelling like a crazy woman. My husband sometimes just sits there, other times tries to take control of our daughter and tells me to calm down. My daughter usually just stands there and looks at me, probably wondering what my problem is. There just comes a time of the day/night when you can’t take much more. Then of course, I feel bad for losing my temper. But, I just wanted to watch my “Glee”. Is that too much to ask?
Some parents have told me they just put their children in their bed or crib and let them lay there and cry it out until they get so tired they pass out. Different strokes for different folks I guess. If I do that, I still have to hear her scream. I still can’t watch my “Glee”. Problem not solved. Oh Calgon, Take Me Away! (or just let me watch my “Glee”)
I Just Want to Enjoy a Movie!
I just want to watch a movie. Period. Plain and simple. I wish. Perhaps I should clarify by saying I just want to enjoy a movie. That is actually the task at hand that is turning into mission impossible these days. Because of my nutso schedule, the only nights I can stay up to do this are Friday and Saturday. Wouldn’t you know those are the nights my daughter wants to party likes its 1999. Ironically, the movie I have been wanting to watch is “Little Fockers”. We’ll just leave it at that, you can make your own jokes. The last time my husband and I actually went to the movies we tried to watch it, but it sold out while we were in line. Figures. (That will tell you just how many times we get out to the movies these days)
So for the past two Friday and Saturday nights, I’ve dreamed of just sitting on my couch with my husband, enjoying a movie and some snacks. Instead, we’ve been battling with my daughter to go to sleep. During the week, she’s down at a reasonable hour. The trouble is, so am I! We’ve filled her with food, locked up all the toys, and even laid her on the couch to make her relax. Sounds pretty good, right? Wrong. She climbs up and down the couch, bouncing back and forth between my husband and I non-stop. I’ve even taken her downstairs and tried some old school tactics like rocking in the chair. When that doesn’t work, the hard-core tactics take effect which include putting her in the crib and letting her cry. That last time until I get so frustrated, I called my husband in for back-up. I yell, he tells me to calm down, he takes over. She eventually falls asleep and so do I. By this time it’s 11:00 and the last thing I want to do is watch a movie. Forget about enjoying anything.
My husband asks why we just can’t put the movie on while she’s up. Really? Have you met our daughter? Have you just not witnessed what has happened over the past two hours? Like I said, I could easily watch a movie. But, I want to enjoy a movie. It seems like I’d have better luck winning the lotto these days. Movie? Lotto? Odds are looking pretty slim for both!
Moms Have the Real Tiger Blood
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First things first…no disrespect to the dads out there…because they also do a lot when it comes to the kids (at least mine does), but I think the moms out there really carry the load. Carrying the “load” really starts before birth. Pregnancy is no easy feat. Each month your belly gets bigger and bigger, your boobs feel like watermelons and everything just swells up. The 9 month countdown begins. Wait, it’s really 10 months! I was actually shocked to learn my first go around that the pregnancy lasts 40 weeks! Each month is an adventure with a new blood test and a new craving. But, in the end it is all worth it. There really is no greater experience than holding your baby for the first time. I remember thinking this little person was growing inside me for all this time, and here she is…wild!
But, once the euphoria vanishes, reality sets in, and that’s when the real tiger blood starts flowing.
From the middle of the night feedings to the non-stop nurturing, there is something that prevents you from collapsing. It’s tiger blood.
Besides being a mom, many women are wives, workers, volunteers, you name it. It’s a careful balancing act with sometimes no net to catch you. That’s scary. I look at myself and many other women and are amazed at the multi-tasking that happens on a day to day basis. My daily routine starts with a 3:30 a.m. wake-up call followed by work, followed by picking up my 1 and 1/2 year old daughter. Then part-two of the day gets underway. That consists of everything from playing to cleaning to errand running and on a good day, a nap. Then it’s time for dinner, bath, snack, bed…and that’s just for her! Let’s not take into account all the things I need to do for me before my targeted bedtime of 9 p.m. (which is often missed). Then it’s time to do it all over again. There’s only one way to explain it…tiger blood!
I know so many other women with their own intense schedules and wonder how they do it. As women, we find a way to push forward and make it happen, not to say it’s not without its share of complaining from time to time! Motherhood transforms you into a person you never thought you could become and gives you the strength to do things you never thought you could do. The Tiger Blood is there and keeps flowing!
p.s. Thanks Charlie Sheen for inspiring the title of my first blog! (But I’m still not paying to see your show at the Oakdale)
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