POST CATEGORY : Parenting

You Know It’s the End of the School Year When…

My kids haven’t had homework in over a week, they’ve been coming home with pictures they drew at Christmas, and they seem to have a field trip or special activity every time I sneeze.

This can only mean one thing.

It’s the end of the school year.

Parents, I know you can relate.

During this time of year, the bedtimes slide a little later, the clothes get more wrinkled, and the snack supply dwindles. Who says sugar packets aren’t a healthy snack?

You also know it’s the end of the school year when you search Pinterest for a unique teacher’s gift only to come to the conclusion that your child’s teacher does desperately need another mug that says “best teacher”.

I don’t know about you, but when it gets to be this time of year, I’ve checked out of the lunch making game too. I’m sure whatever they’re serving in the cafeteria is just fine. The thought of making another ham and cheese sandwich and trying to fit everything in the lunchbox perfectly so the banana doesn’t get squished is just too much pressure to handle at this point in the school year.

I also know it’s the end of the school year because waking my kids up gets harder each day closer to the last day of school. They protest and look like “grumpy cat” every morning. But, I know once the first day of summer vacation rolls around they’ll be awake before 7 a.m., no matter how late they’ve gone to bed the night before. How annoying!

It’s also the time of year when you realize your kids will be around the entire summer…let me repeat…THE ENTIRE SUMMER. What are you going to do with them for over two months besides hearing “I’m bored” more times than you’ll ever hear those words again (at least until next summer)?

For some of us, it’s summer camp to the max, for others, your home is a 24/7 camp with endless snacks and activities.

Either way you slice it, summers aren’t all sandcastles and water balloon fights. Siblings get on each other’s nerves, kids annoy parents, parents annoy kids, all while sweating and getting sunscreen in your eyes…it’s a beautiful thing.

Although sibling battle royales have led me to threaten to send my kids to separate summer camps countless times this year, I know we’ll make it work just as we do every summer. They’ll be doing some camp things, but most of the time they’ll be at “Camp Mom” because let’s be honest…camp ain’t cheap.

They’ll be days when I’ll lock myself in my room to meet a deadline, praying my kids don’t scratch each other’s eyes out in the other room. But, then there were will great beach days with friends that will make us smile. It’s all part of the deal.

Parents, stock up on the wine and scrounge up those last few snack bags of Goldfish for the lunch box, it’s about to get real. Enjoy the remaining days of school. Embrace every night you have to tell your kids “it’s a school night” because they’ll be home before you know it!

 

 

How’s That No Yelling Thing Working Out for You?

So it’s been almost one month since I took my Lenten oath of not yelling…mainly at my kids. Forty days of keeping a perfectly calm tone and not screaming like a maniac.

I know.

What was I thinking?

Could it actually be done or would I crack under the pressure of a sassy-mouthed little girl who insists that she has nothing to wear when, in fact, I actually did all of the laundry and put it away?

So this is what I can tell you.

Has it been easy? No way!

Have I almost lost my cool? Of course!

Did I have to leave the room a few times so I wouldn’t yell? Absolutely!

Has it been worth it? Yes. Really, I’m not lying.

Although lightning wouldn’t strike me if I did let out a howl or two, or at least I hope it wouldn’t, I’ve really tried to stick true to my word. I guess it’s Catholic school guilt that’s still lingering!

I want to show my kids that when mommy says she’s going to do (or not do something in this case) she means it. I also think not yelling has benefited my blood pressure and all-around mental status!

Not yelling has meant finding new ways of problem-solving. Instead of screaming when my daughter knocks over the entire container of Nesquik on the floor that I vacuumed less than two hours ago, I simply tell her not to worry about it, but also give her the broom to sweep it up.

The yelling mommy would have lost her cool and went on a rant about how no one looks at what they’re doing and I’m not the maid, yada, yada, yada. In reality, it’s just an accidental spill that can be cleaned up in minutes. Without yelling, the mess still gets cleaned up and no one feels bad or has veins popping out of their head.

Mission accomplished.

When my daughter wants to wear a shirt to school that’s too small for her, the yelling mommy would lose it while visions of the teenage years would give me heart palpitations. The Lenten, non-yelling mommy, says what she thinks is appropriate and then dishes out a consequence in a calm voice. “If you choose to wear that, then you can’t go to the birthday party this weekend.”

Hmmm…and what do you think she chooses? I’ll take the appropriate clothes and the birthday party mommy.

Yep, that’s what I thought. After this scenario, the shirt in question mysteriously disappears, never to cause problems again.

By not resorting to yelling I’m finding other ways to get my point across without acting like a maniac. “Maniac mommy” is not a good look for me nor is it one I really want to be embedded in my daughters’ brains as part of their childhood.

The real test is going to be not yelling once Lent is over. There will be no real guilt holding me back. Hopefully, I won’t relapse, lol. I think everyone likes non-yelling mommy a lot better, myself included.

 

Winning the Technology Battle

In the age of Fortnite and endless online gaming, it’s hard not to have your kids glued to an iPad, tablet, phone or another device. That’s probably why I was hesitant to let my girls have a device of their own…well, sorta of their own.

Trust me, I’m not anti-technology, I’m just anti-screen zombie child! Nothing kills me more than to see a child addicted to a device so much so that they’d rather interact with their screen than with other kids.

But, a few months ago, I gave in and bought my kids a new iPad for Christmas. We had an iPad, but that thing was so archaic that I couldn’t load any new apps no matter what I did. After all, it was nearly ten years old, so I shouldn’t really complain. My kids would play on it as much as they could. But, when they wanted to go on programs they were using at school, the iPad would just laugh at my efforts. I let them use my computer, but I would cringe every time they did because I was always afraid they would touch something and it would self-destruct.

So, I guess I had no choice but to buy an iPad. When I told people they immediately thought I was buying two iPads because I have two kids. When I corrected them that there would be one singular iPad they would be sharing, there were plenty of laughs and “good lucks”. I scratched my head because they had been sharing the stone age iPad for as long as I could remember with virtually no problems.

With two iPads I envisioned my girls sitting on opposite ends of the couch on their iPads being anti-social zombies. That scenario did not bring me joy. I figured with one iPad they would not only be forced to share but maybe they would actually play on it together.

Fast forward almost three months and my strategy seems to be working. They’ve learned to share the iPad and what happens when they don’t…I take it away until I feel like giving it back. The joys of motherhood! There are plenty of days when they would just veg out with it all day if I let them. I can see why so many parents give their kids devices for hours on end. It keeps them quiet and out of your hair. While that’s great and all, too much screen time isn’t doing anything positive for anyone. That’s why I set limits and will even put a timer on in case I lose track of time. The quietness can do that to a person. When the timer goes off, the iPad takes a nap and they move on to another activity that doesn’t involve a screen.

While it’s not always unicorns and rainbows in shared iPad land, it is a place where I can win the technology battle…at least for now.

 

You Know It’s the End of the School Year When…

If you’re a mom you don’t need to look at the calendar to know it’s the end of the school year. There are many signs, some obvious, others more subtle, to let you know your children are about to be home for the next two months or more. In case you didn’t realize, that’s 56 days, perhaps more depending on when your kids are getting out and when they go back.

That’s a lot of trips to the liquor store!

Take a look at these signs and how to deal with them to survive this crazy time of year.

Your child tells you his shirt is too short when he raises his hand in class. If your child says this you can simply tell him to just stop raising his hand. It’s an easy fix.

Your child tells you her pants are getting too short. There’s a simple answer to this one too. They’re not too short. They’re actually these really cool new type of pants that get shorter as it gets warmer so you can wear them as capris.

Your child tells you there are no more potato chips to take to school with his sandwich. Show him where the potatoes are and tell him to improvise. Wait, I still have to make sandwiches??

Your child brings home tests and papers from October. It’s unclear whether they were in their desk for this long or if the teacher just got around to giving them back now. Either way you no longer need a table cloth for your kitchen table because it is now covered with dittos and tests. Somehow you need to get rid of these when your child is not looking because you’re expected to keep every piece of paper they ever put their name on. #impossible

Oh look, another field trip permission slip is shoved in front of your face. So basically kids are not doing any more school work these last two weeks, is that right? Great.

Your child wants to wear a poop emoji shirt to school and you don’t even flinch. As long as it’s the rainbow poop emoji and not the original it’s all good. The original would be bad.

A birthday invitation for a classmate’s party in August comes home in June. You don’t even know this child. Your child “thinks” it’s the kid who sits in front of her. She’s not even sure! Did I mention the party is not until August?

Your child doesn’t want to get up for school and you don’t drag them out of bed. They won’t even notice if he’s late. Are they even taking attendance any more?

Your child’s book bag has a hole in it and he wants a new one for the last two weeks of school. No. Simply, no.

Third grade math has stumped your child and you are of no help, none whatsoever. Go in the bathroom and just Google the answer. She’ll never know and you won’t have to admit you can’t do third grade math. Five months ago you would have sat and down and tried to get the answer and explain it, but not now.

Your child wants to wear a wrinkled shirt to school. You let it slide. You have no interest in ironing. Your child could care less and at this point you’re right there with him.

End of the year activities are consuming you. Forget about keeping up with the Kardashians. You can’t keep up with the Kindergarteners.

Let’s do one more year-end fundraiser. Let’s not and say we did. #overit

Let’s face it, as much as the kids are going to get on your nerves over the summer, we’re all ready for a vacation from school and all the craziness that goes along with it. So when your kids are fighting over which Barbie gets the glitter dress, remember, it could be worse. You could be doing fractions and multiplication tables every night and making lunches…wait you will be in another 56 days! Happy summer!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hate you…I love you…You’re my sister

Growing up as an only child, I missed out on the sibling spats that so many of my friends had the luxury of enjoying. As much as I wanted and truly thought my stuffed animals talked back to me, they didn’t.

Fast forward thirty years and as the mother of two girls, I can see how siblings fight and can change their moods in a matter of seconds. It’s like watching an animated film turn into a horror movie right in front of your eyes.

I’ve heard all the stories but really never believed them until I experienced them when my girls started to talk. Ever since, the pendulum has swung from hot to cold in a matter of seconds.

It doesn’t really matter if I’m in the room or not because they get their crazy on right in front of me. There’s no shame.

One minute they’re playing Barbies or a game and it’s so serene I swear I can hear “The Sound of Music” in the background. Barbies are going to a party; my girls are telling each other how much fun they’re having. Then before you know it, I think the Barbies are fighting over the corvette when in reality it’s my little Skippers who are engaged in a battle royale. I let it play out until push comes to shove…literally. Then I have to “momaree” the event and it’s never pretty.

It’s certainly not my finest moment and definitely not theirs.

There’s yelling, there’s crying, then it all stops with the signature ending of my girls saying they hate each other. Yep, another banner day of parenting!

They huff off into their separate corners while I retreat into another room to regain my own sanity.

As I replay this latest episode of “I hate my sister” in my head and try to think of ways for them to stop, I hear something else from the other room.

I peak in and see they’ve each come out of their separate corners. They look at each other and one asks the other if they want to play.

Wait! What?

Five minutes ago you wish you had different mothers, now you want to play? I’m still reeling from the headache you gave me and counting down the hours until you go to bed. Now you’re ready to play nice?

Then I hear three words that must signal I’ve entered the Twilight Zone; either that or I’ve actually slept long enough to have a dream.

“I love you,” says one child. “I love you too,” says the other.

For the love of Christmas! You girls are nuts! More importantly, you’re driving me nuts!

Don’t get me wrong I truly do enjoy the fact that they can make up that quickly, but why all the drama before? I was pretty sure Barbie was going to slap them upside the head because they were acting so crazy!

This is why I’m getting gray. Yep. Totally why.

I know, I know, it’s normal and it’s only going to get worse. Blah, blah, blah. I’ve heard it all before. But, if you go through this too you know how much it sucks in the moment.

It feels like someone kidnapped you and put you on a crazy train. I guess this is what I missed out on by not having a sibling! My Care Bear never told me he hated me. He never told me he loved me either, but I digress.

So what’s a momma to do? Buy ear plugs? I’ve seriously thought about it but realized I would still be able to hear them.

Nope, guess I’ll just grab a book and cozy up on the crazy train because it’s going to be a long ride…

 

 

 

Read by Example

Read by Example

If your child is in elementary school, chances are reading is part of their nightly homework. While my kids truly do enjoy reading, getting them to do it after a day of school and other homework isn’t easy, to put it mildly.

I can’t say I blame them really. After I write all day, the last thing I want to do is more writing at night! As much as I want to tell them I totally get where they’re coming from on the reading thing, adulting must happen which means I must encourage reading.

After realizing that telling them to read wasn’t really cutting it, I had an “a-ha” moment. You see, I always complain I don’t have time to read or that I’m too tired. One of my many resolutions this year is to try to read more. What better way than to do it with my kids? I get to read, they get to read, and there’s peace and quiet in the house, even if it’s just for ten minutes.

I wasn’t sure they were going to buy it at first, but I pitched it anyway.

“How about we all read for ten to fifteen minutes tonight together?”

Blank stares followed by, “What do you mean?”

“I mean we all pick a comfy spot, grab a book and just read…together…but by ourselves. You read your book, I read my book, but we’re all doing it at the same time.”

Silence.

“Okay, sure…and then we can tell each other what we read,” chimes in my oldest.

Praise Jesus! Maybe you are my kid after all!

“Yes, that sounds like a good idea,” I answer.

So, we read…together…but by ourselves for about 15 minutes. When we’re done, my kids actually do start talking about what they read. It’s working, it’s really working!

I follow the rules too and tell them about my book…which means no reading any “50 Shades” type of stuff with them.

The next day we didn’t have our reading time because we were doing other things. I know, I know, after only one day and I screw it up!

Before all hope is lost, my kids tell me at night, “Hey, we forgot to do our reading. Can we do it tomorrow?”

Amen and Alleluia! I didn’t screw it up…yet!

It’s always the little things that really turn into the big things when you’re a parent.

The Day the Butterflies Went Away

There are certain expected milestones in your child’s life that make you happy, sad, and sometimes a little bit of both. First steps, first words, first days of schools…they’re all pretty much lumped together and spark a flutter of emotions.

But, it’s the unique milestones that really hit you right in the mommy gut. They’re often ones you thought would have no significance at all.

For me, it’s the day the butterflies went away.

When my youngest daughter was born we decorated her nursery in a butterfly theme.  There were butterflies all around her room; purple and pink, everything matched, from the crib sheet to the curtains. The butterflies never seemed to bother her…not like she had a say in the matter anyway.

As my daughter started growing and developing her own little personality, I could immediately tell she wasn’t the purple and pink butterfly kind of girl. She was the one to chase them away, not to admire their beauty.  Nevertheless, the butterflies stayed where they were. It was their home after all. Even as she moved from the crib to a “big girl bed”, the butterflies hung on.

When she turned four and was waist-deep into “My Little Pony”, we changed her bedspread and curtains to match her current obsession.

But, the butterflies remained on the wall. She didn’t seem to care as long as her ponies were around.

From the ponies we added “Shopkins” decals on the walls…next to the butterflies. The “Shopkins”, ponies, and butterflies all seemed to live in perfect harmony, although they had nothing in common except for the fact they shared a room.

Then a couple of months ago, my then 5-year-old daughter said, “Mommy, I want to take the butterflies off. They’re babyish. I’m a big girl.”

What? No more butterflies? What did they ever do to you?

As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I knew she had a point. She was growing up whether I wanted to face it or not. When my older daughter changed her room décor, it didn’t bother me in the least. In fact, I welcomed it. But, when it’s your youngest, it’s just different…at least for me.

Since the butterflies were going bye-bye, I figured we might as well get rid of the ponies too. So I suggested buying new bedding for her sixth birthday. She immediately jumped aboard that train adding, “something for big girls”. I agreed to that. It would be nice to choose a bedding theme that could last the test of time…or at least through her little phases and fads.

She chose a zebra rainbow pattern. I have to admit, it is very nice and is “something for big girls”. While we’re still making the transition and adding decorations here and there, the butterflies are gone.

They have a new home, in her closet, along with toys that aren’t exactly for “big girls” anymore.

While I can’t hold on to the butterflies, I’ll still grab onto those mommy hugs and snuggles whenever I can get them before they fly away.

Can we stop putting labels on parenting?

When I became a parent eight years ago, I knew I would be getting the new title of “Mom” or “Momeeee” as my kids like to scream. I knew there were a lot of responsibilities and expectations that came along with that prestigious name. I was ready to take it on, and that I did, some days better than others, but you get the idea.

What I didn’t know was that there was a chance I would be labeled as a certain type of parent. I thought a parent was a parent and that was that. That’s the way it was for my momma. She was my mom. That was pretty much where it ended.

Fast forward a few decades where parents of my generation have the pleasure to be categorized into certain parent molds. I’m sure by now you’ve heard of them all.

You have the helicopter parents. Those are the ones who apparently are overprotective and take an obsessive role in their kids’ lives.

Then you have the lawnmower parents. Those are the ones who stop at nothing to make sure everything goes smoothly for their kids and there are no obstacles in the way.

Don’t forget the “free-range” parents who let their kids explore the world. I thought only chickens could be “free-range”? Who knew?

On the opposite end is the “tiger” parent who doesn’t let their kids explore anything. They’re pretty strict and lay down the law 24/7.

Then there are the attachment parents. They love, love, love to be with their kids 24/7, some even at bedtime.

The list goes on and on…and on. Am I the only one who finds this type of parenting labeling downright annoying? I’m still confused as to how we got to this point, but I wish it would all go away.

If you’re like me, you take a little chapter out of each of these parenting styles.

Do I tend to hover over my kids at times like those so-called helicopter parents? Sure.

Do I try to make things easy for my kids? Sometimes.

Do I let my kids explore and do their own thing? Absolutely! Especially on days when I’ve heard “mommy” for about the 100th time and my head is ready to explode. Explore all you want my young Dora…explore…and take your sister with you!

Am I strict with my kids? You bet. They call me “mean” at times, but it’s all good. They’ll thank me later. I used to think my parents were mean but now I get it. They’re lucky that all they had to worry about was me wanting “total phone” so I could have a conversation with more than one of my friends at the same time. That was technology at its best in the ’80’s! I think if my parents had to deal with all the pitfalls of cell phones and social media their heads would explode.

Am I attached to my kids? Of course? Just not at bedtime.

So would that make me an attached helicopter, lawnmower, free-range tiger momma?

If you want to classify yourself as a certain “type” of parent, knock yourself out. I’ll take a time out on that one. There are already so many self-imposed and society pressures on parents these days without throwing parenting labels into the mix. Like I tell my kids, I don’t care what everyone else does, I only care what you do. I just wish we could all make it a little easier on one another.

As parents, I think we’re all constantly trying to figure this thing out and wonder if we’re doing it right so we don’t screw it up. But, what’s right for you may not be right for me and vice versa.

I think if everyone just tries to be the best parent they can, we’ll all be better for it. Let’s leave the helicopters and the lawnmowers out of it.

 

 

10 Signs That It’s Back to School Time

10 Signs That It’s Back to School Time

It’s here.

The time kids have dreaded since the middle of June and the time that parents have been counting down since the middle of June.

It’s back to school time people.

In my house, 50% of my children (that would be one), are actually excited about going back to school, while the other 50% (the other child), would be happy if summer vacation was a year round thing.

As for me, I fall somewhat in the middle. At the beginning of their vacation I was ready to poke my eyes out with a spork after one day of hearing them argue which Barbie would get to date the Kristoff doll. Sure he’s cute, but for the love of Elsa, I don’t care!!! Anyway, I digress. Slowly, and I mean like shopping by yourself in Target slowly, I began to embrace the fact they were home. I learned how to get my work done with them home (bribery, lots of bribery!) and we got to spend a lot of time together doing fun things. In the end, a bonus.

Now that it’s their last week of vacation, I admit I’m actually going to miss the little divas, although it will be nice to get back to a schedule that includes a steady wine time, I mean bedtime!

Besides the obvious indicator on the calendar, here are 10 signs that it’s back to school time.

  1. You have enough sunscreen left for one more beach day. There’s no way you’re going to buy another bottle. Why can’t they clearance these things like they do beach chairs in the middle of July? Hmmm…
  2. You see the ads for pumpkin spice everything. Let’s drink a piping hot cup of pumpkin spice coffee at the end of August when you’re still putting deodorant on twice a day because of the humidity. That sounds like fun. By the way, I’m not a big pumpkin spice fan if you couldn’t tell.
  3. Your car has more sand than the beach. No matter how hard you tried, your car is full of sand. It’s time for a deep clean.
  4. You have dreams about shopping at Target…alone. Momma has to get her Target on and doing that with the kids is no fun. Those dollar bins end up being anything but when the kids are around.
  5. Dust bunnies have taken refuge in your home. Let’s face it, cleaning the house takes a back seat during the summer months. When you’re aboard the fun train, there’s no room for the Swiffer. Now, it’s time to get down and dirty.
  6. You’ve memorized the entire order of the Kidz Bop CD & sing it more than your kids. I’m guilty of this one. One day my kids told me to stop. I was apparently embarrassing them while belting out “Hand Clap” when it was just the three of us in the car.
  7. You fall asleep before your kids. Being the head counselor at “Camp Mom” is exhausting. You can’t help but fall asleep by 9…ok 8:30!
  8. You can’t remember the last time you used the words “bed” and “time” in the same breath. Let’s face it no matter how much you love your kids knowing that they’re off to bed in two hours gives you hope that you will get to binge watch some of your shows. Thank-you back to school time!
  9. All of the flips have flopped. The kids lived in their flip flops all summer and they have the broken shoes to show for it. Sure it’s still warm out but there’s no way you’re buying another pair now. That would be silly. That’s why they created duct tape.
  10. Your kids are arguing for the tenth time in one hour & you could care less. As a mother you learn to block things out that other normal humans can’t. With that said,you can also hear your child call your name in the middle of a Bon Jovi concert. It’s a skill. But, there comes a point when hearing your children argue again doesn’t phase you in the least. Quite frankly, you don’t care. The neighbors may be yelling at them to stop but you don’t hear a thing. Not one.

What are your tell-tale signs that it’s time to hop back on the school bus?

Time to raise your glass to another school year! Cheers!

Our First Summer Camp Experience

Our First Summer Camp Experience

I’ll admit, I was never a big fan of summer camps. I didn’t go to one as a kid because my grandmother watched me while my parents worked. As a parent myself, I’ve always been around during the summer so I didn’t necessarily need a camp for childcare. I work from home, so in the summer I can usually manage things enough to get my jobs done…usually. My solution is waiting for my kids to go to sleep to get things done, kind of like right now as I’m writing this.

But, this summer, a one-week soccer camp peaked our interest. Well, really my interest and that of my 5-year-old. My 7-year-old wanted no part of it. She was “Camp Mom” all the way and let everyone know it. But, I could tell the idea intrigued my little one because she truly loves the game. Quite frankly, she’s pretty darn good at it for a 5-year-old. But, she wanted her big sister to go along with her. I could tell that wasn’t going to happen.

I sat on the whole camp idea the weeks leading up to the registration. When it came down to saving a few bucks to register early, I needed a final answer. Momma doesn’t play around when there’s money to be saved! My older daughter still wasn’t budging, but my little soccer beast was all in! I was also curious to know more about this camp thing that everyone raves about all the time.

It was all soccer goals and smiles until the first morning. The idea of getting up like it was a school day was anything less than exciting. The fact that it was only for five mornings was my biggest motivator. During the drive there, I could smell hesitation in the air when my little asked her sister if she was sure she didn’t want to come. After a definite “no”, my little knew she was on her own. When we got there she didn’t leave my side for the first few minutes but when I told her I couldn’t stay and would be back in three short hours, she ran off and started to play with the familiar faces she saw.

When those three short hours were over (and I mean short, there’s no way you can get anything done in that time) she as all smiles at pick-up time. During the drive home when I asked her what she did, she gave me a complete rundown of all the skills she learned and the scrimmage that was played. It felt like a win-win all around until she admitted she cried. When she told me it was because she missed me, my heart sank. Did I do the right thing sending her? Should I have kept her home? As much as I felt like the world’s worst mom, I got over it quick! I knew deep down that this was good for her. Besides learning soccer skills, she was also learning how to manage on her own without relying on her big sister. Did I mention the fact that she was pooped everyday and slept like a rock star each night?

As the week progressed, the wake-ups didn’t get any easier, but the drop-offs and pick-ups did. She was having fun and learning new things and meeting new kids. I guess that’s what this camp thing is all about, right? As much as I was a camp skeptic, I can see now why so many kids and parents love it. It sure does keep the kids busy and is a lifesaver during the summer for many working parents.

Who knows, in the future we may trying out different summer camps, but for now it’s still “Camp Mom” for most of the time, and truthfully I’m okay with that!