POST CATEGORY : Parenting

Why Are Kids Being Left in Hot Cars?

There are a lot of things in this world that leave me speechless. Lately, the issue of leaving children in sweltering cars for hours at a time, all alone, tops my list. Just this week, I’ve heard of several cases where parents have left children of all ages in hot cars, some innocent, defenseless babies. During the month of June alone, six kids across the country died because someone left them in a stifling hot car. The latest case was in Connecticut where a 15-month-old died . They’re saying the dad forgot to drop him off at daycare and instead went to work only to return to this car to find his son still in the car seat.

I don’t know about you, but as a parent, I’m always aware that my kids are in the car. From the time they were babies, I would always hear some kind of noise from the backseat. Now that they are getting older, that noise is of course getting louder. When they are too quiet, I tend to turn around and check on them even more to make sure they are okay. That is why I can’t wrap my head around the idea that someone would forget their child was in the car, never mind actually leave their car with their child still inside. No matter how frazzled or pre-occupied you may be, I think you should always remember your kids are in the car. In my opinion there is no excuse for forgetting about them.

I can’t even imagine the torturous time these children must have in the car gasping for air as their fragile bodies overheat to the point of no return. The crying, the kicking, the screaming…the thoughts running through their little heads, wondering when or if their mommy or daddy is coming back. What a horrible death.  It truly makes me sick.

The not so funny thing in all of this is that in some cases, the parents are fully aware their kids are in the car. They simply leave them in there because it’s too much of a hassle to take them in and out. They think it’s so much better to just leave them in the car. What are you thinking? If your child is sleeping when you get to a store, you may just have to change your plans and try again later. You don’t leave them in the car sleeping while you run in to just get a couple of things!

Children are precious. They need to be taken care of, not neglected. When I hear of kids dying in hot cars because their parents “forgot”, I am reminded of the countless people out there who would do anything to have a child, or the ones who have lost a child for one reason or another and would do anything to have just one more second with them. There are so many people who take their children and being a parent for granted. Being a parent means being on your game 110% of the time. It’s not a part-time job or one you do when it’s convenient for you.  So please, can we start taking better care of our kids, and especially not leave them in hot cars?

 

Too Much Growing Up Going On

We all know kids grow up fast, yada yada yada. Of course there are the physical signs of pants getting shorter, shirts getting tighter and feet getting squished into sneakers like sausages, but it’s the other ones that really get you. I’m talking about signs of maturity that signal your babies are not babies anymore. The ones that maybe, just maybe, start to indicate they don’t need you as much as they once did. These are the ones that get a momma right in the gut.

My almost five-year-old daughter decided it would be cool to lay three of these little signals on me all in one day. Last week when it was time for her and her sister’s bath, you know, they one we’ve been taking religiously since she was born. The bath where they play with little rubber duckies and splash each other until there’s more water on the floor than in the tub. Yeah, that one. Well, out of the blue, my daughter asks me if she can take a shower instead. What? A shower? Grown-ups take showers, not my little babies! I just looked at her and asked why she wanted to do that. “Because I do.” That’s always a great answer. Before I could respond, little sister chimes in with a “me too”. Oh no, I’m out numbered, yet again. I stop and stare at them and ask why again. The litany of “please moms” start. Ahh!

I know, you’re probably asking what’s so wrong about letting them take a shower? Nothing at face value. But to me, it’s just shows they are growing up. They don’t need mom to scrub them down. It’s one more thing they can do on their one. It’s one more apron string that needs to be cut. Yeah for independence. So, I let them take their little shower, with some supervising to make sure they were actually getting clean. Of course they loved it. Afterwards, my daughter declares, “I’m not taking a bath anymore. I take showers now.” I know little sister is going along for the ride too. Ugh. I think a piece of my heart broke a little.

If that whole scenario wasn’t bad enough, later that night my daughter tells me she wants to sleepover her grandmother’s house. What? This coming from a child who hates sleepovers? Are you feeling alright? Stop growing already, will ya? The whole idea was born when I told her grandma was coming over to watch her and her sister the following night, the night after the first shower that was oh so wonderful. My daughter went on to tell me grandma would not be coming over; she and her sister were going to sleep over there instead. Of course I get a little “me too” in the background. I swear they’re like Thelma & Louise. Anyway, she told me to call daddy and grandma to check. With the joint “yes”, another little piece of my heart fell. What the heck is going on here? Where have my babies gone?

After declaring showers and sleepovers for all, my daughter also did something else that hasn’t been seen in my house for a very, very, very long time. She decided that would be a good night to sleep in her bed all night. When I woke up at 5:30 to go to the gym and released there was no wall between me and my husband, I panicked for a minute. Where was she? I got up and tiptoed down the hallway, took a peak in her room and saw her sound asleep. I hung around the doorway until I saw her back moving. Just needed to make sure, you know what I mean? Once I saw she was fine, I tiptoed back in disbelief.  Not too much love loss here on the growing up scale, but still it was the third blow to my momminess in less than 24 hours. This girl is relentless.

So, it’s been a week. We’ve successfully slept over grandma’s house, taken only showers, and slept in our own bed for a few nights (I still got her on this one!). I know these are only footprints on the path to growing up, but they don’t hurt any less. It’s great to see them grow, but sad at the same time. I’d like to keep my girls babies forever, minus the diapers and midnight feedings of course! Sigh.

 

I Survived My 1st Dance Recital

I’m quickly learning that being a parent means sometimes letting your kids do stuff you may not endorse one-hundred percent. For me and my nearly five-year-old daughtear that “stuff” involves dancing. This weekend she had her first dance recital.  I’ve heard all the recital horror stories and well, some of them are true. At nearly four and a half hours,  it is one of the longest things I have ever sat through.

My daughter was only in one number that lasted all of four minutes. Luckily (or not, depending on how you look at it) her dance was in the first act. That meant after her dance, we still had one full act and a half to go before the final bow. I could have cleaned my entire house during that time and probably stopped for a coffee. Instead, we stuck it out and supported our tiny dancer (cue the Elton John music). I just wish I was as smart as some other moms who came armed with a cooler full of snacks. My kids’ goldfish and fruit snacks only went so far seeing that I was there about an hour earlier than the rest of my family. I could have eaten my chair by the time it was all over.

Despite all of that, I never thought I’d say this, but it was really exciting to see my daughter up there on the stage dancing. She didn’t freeze. She didn’t cry. She just danced. While she was not perfect, I think she did pretty darn good seeing that this was her first time on stage and that she was the youngest and smallest one in the group. As I was watching, I felt mommy pride build up inside and I could feel the tears start to come to the surface. I didn’t cry, but I was pretty close! I was just so proud of her. It was just a little thing, but to her it was the world. After her dance, I went backstage. As soon as she saw me she yelled, “Mommy, mommy, I did it!” She was so proud of herself, which made me even prouder.

I was surprised at how emotional I was because I wasn’t 100% invested in this dance thing from the start even though my checkbook was. I was never a dancer and just never really got the fascination with the whole thing. I still don’t get why all the girls need to pile on the make-up to go on stage. My daughter had no blush, no eyeshadow, no lipstick, and her own eyelashes and she performed just fine. I guess I’m just not a true “dance mom” since I let my daughter go “au natural”.

As much as it kills me, I will let my daughter continue to dance (at least for awhile) if she really wants to. She looked forward to class every week and enjoyed the recital (most of it). I can’t take that away just because I’m not a dancing queen. For now, I’ll just have to deal with my dancing princess.

 

 

 

 

Summer 2014 Bucket List

With summer officially arriving over the weekend, I was thinking about all the things I would like to accomplish over the next couple of months. Let me rephrase that…thing I’m hoping to accomplish. Beach days, time at the pool, and playing outside are all oodles of fun, but sometimes it’s nice to actually think about either getting things done or doing things you wouldn’t normally do. I know some of the things on my list may sound silly, but I really want to get them done. So here goes…

 1. Read at least two books. I know it doesn’t sound like a lot, but when you have two kids with you all the time, it is. I used to read a lot more adult books, but now my reading list doesn’t get past Dr. Seuss and Pete the Cat. Don’t get me wrong, they are both great, but sometimes you just need a little more substance.

2. Organize my closets…for real. Lame, I know. But, it needs to be done. My OCD has taken a back seat since I’ve had kids, but it’s creeping back into play. There just seems like there is so much junk…I mean treasures…to be discovered!

3. Find more things to sell on eBay. See, once I clean out the closets, I know I will find more junk…I mean treasures to sell. I was doing really well with this over the winter and spring, but I’ve gotten a little bit lazy. I know there are a lot of things that could and should be sold. I just need to stop being lazy about it and try to make some money!

4. Plan a girls day, weekend if possible. I’ll take anything I can get. As you get older, everyone’s lives get so much more complicated. Everyone is so busy that it’s hard to find time when everyone can get together. But, sometimes you just need it. Just some time away to finish a conversation, eat a meal in a restaurant while it’s hot, maybe even have two glasses of wine instead of one! Who’s with me?

5. Have at least 2 summer date nights. Kids, work, life…they just all get in the way of having a nice night out with the hubs. It’s great to have a conversation that doesn’t revolve around the latest Doc McStuffins or Dora episode. It’s nice to just reconnect as a couple without  focusing all your energy on the kids.

6. Take the kids to the Bronx Zoo. I don’t know why I’m kinda obsessed with this one. My kids don’t even know what the Bronx Zoo is, but for some reason, I really want to take them. They’ve been to a smaller zoo before and loved it, so I’m sure they will enjoy this trip as well. I think I just really want to go myself since I haven’t been there since I was a little girl.

7. Go to one amusement park. Really, just one. My head and wallet can only manage one. I like them, but in small doses. I’m not one for upside down, throw up your lunch rides. I like to go on a few tame rides, take the kids around, play a couple of games and call it a day. We tried to go to one last year, but it never worked out for some reason. So, we’ll see what happens this year!

I’m sure there are other things I want to get done, but we’ll leave it at seven. I don’t want to get too adventurous and then feel like a failure if I can’t get it all done! I think it’s important to map out things you want to do. Once you see them in print, it makes them more real. Does that make any sense?

So, what do you want to do this summer? Do you have a summer bucket list?

 

 

3-Step Summer Learning Plan

School’s out. Summer’s in. Time to trade in bed times for bicycles and ice cream trucks. Right? Yes, but it’s also time to try to do some summer learning. I know; I’m such an annoying mother. I should let them run free from morning until night and forget about learning anything important until school starts up again. But, if you know me at all, you know I’m a bit of a nerd and I’m proud of it. I like to learn. I like to create things. I like to read. I like to teach my kids things. Luckily, my kids like learning things too.

My older daughter starts Kindergarten in the fall while my younger daughter will start with her two mornings of pre-k. What could kids that age possible have to learn you may ask? Well, a lot if. We went to my daughter’s Kindergarten orientation last week and let me tell you, things have changed quite a bit in thirty years. Gone are the days of play kitchens and finger paints. They’ve been replaced with site words and writing. Little kids are certainly expected to know a lot at a young age. It is kinda sad that my kids will not be able to enjoy a lot of the fun things I did at their age. But, it seems our kids are being forced to be smarter and more competitive for when they become grown-ups.

I’m not putting my kids in some summer learning boot camp, but we will be doing daily exercises to get their brains moving. I put the little people in my head to work to devise a plan. They’ve come up with three steps for summer success:

1. ABC’s of Summer: My daughter’s school provided us with letter and number packets so she can learn to write. She’s already done the alphabet in pre-k and can write her name, but there are some letters that are still giving her problems. So, each day we will focus on one letter. I’m also going to ask her to come up with one word for each letter. I try to find summer related words, but sometimes that’s not the case. Hopefully, this will help when she starts to read on her own. As for my younger daughter, she likes her Leap Frog Letter Factory. She uses it to recognize letters and their sounds. It also makes her feel as though she’s doing something like her sister.

2. Counting the Days of Summer: We’re going to use the number packets provided to focus on one number each day. I’m also going to use the calendar so she recognizes double digit numbers. I’m thinking of also using some pieces of fruit to work on simple addition and subtraction.

3. R is for Reading: We always read books, but this summer I’m going to start concentrating on comprehension. I’m going to ask my older daughter some questions about the stories. As for my little one, we’ll look at the colors the different characters in the books are wearing so she can get that down.

That’s it? Yep, that’s it. I think my little plan is just enough. I can tell you it is already working. We are only four days in and my daughter asks me to do her letters and numbers. Getting her and her sister to sit down for a story is sometimes a little more challenging, but we’re working on it.

In order to pave the way to success, I try to do these lessons in the morning after breakfast. I also keep the whole lesson to fifteen to twenty minutes. I find my kids learn better in the morning. I also find I can really keep their attention for that amount of time. Anything past that and the ants start dancing in their pants. I know a lot of parents don’t have the luxury of sitting with their kids in the morning. But, I think this is something that can be done before or after dinner. It’s short enough that I think it can be done any time that works for you.

I’ll be curious to see how much we improve on our letters. numbers, and reading by the end of the summer. I’ll keep you posted. In the meantime, what do you do to keep your kids’ minds busy over the summer?

 

 

The First of Many Graduations

It may sound cliché, but time passes so quickly. That’s especially true once you start having kids. One day turns into one week, into one month, into one year which crashes into the next, creating a domino effect that has you shaking your head wondering where all the time has gone.

I’ve been thinking a lot about time lately because my daughter graduates from pre-school this week. I know to some people it may seem so insignificant considering all of the other graduations and milestones that are yet to come, but to me, it’s a big deal. It signifies the fact that she is really growing up and I really can’t believe it.

I can remember the day she was born more clearly than what I ate for dinner last night. I can re-tell her delivery story up to the detail of what was on the television in the room at the time. I can remember her jet black hair (which has turned twenty shades lighter since then) and trying to figure out who she looked like more.

I remember her first ride in the car and how I thought I would never be able to drive around with her because I would have to be staring at her constantly. Yeah, I got over that one! I remember how I felt leaving her for the first time when I had to go back to work and how much I cried. Fast forward a few years to her first day of pre-school and how she felt when she had to leave me and how much she cried. Now, she hardly stops to give me a quick hug and kiss before settling into the classroom. It’s funny how time changes so much.

I’ve just been thinking about what the beginning of “big girl” school really means…for both of us. I think it’s going to be harder for me, lol! We all know kids are pretty resilient. It’s us parents who need to grow a thicker skin. There’s so much more to worry about once kids get to “big girl” school.  Truly, I don’t think I’m ready for Kindergarten! I just want to bottle her up and keep her tiny forever. I know she has to grow-up. But, it sucks.

To make matters worse, her Kindergarten orientation is scheduled a few hours after her graduation. Talk about hittin’ a momma hard. I’m gonna be one Lifetime movie away from a total crying fest. I’m sure it’s nothing some adult beverages can’t fix!

Growing up is hard to do…especially for parents. You just want to stop the clock. But, you can’t.  You just have to hit the “play” button without accidentally tapping “fast forward”.

 

 

 

 

 

Why Flying With Kids Isn’t So Bad

As a parent, there a lot of things I dread. Cleaning up puke, temper tantrums, kids sleeping in my bed…the list goes on and on. Up until a week ago, I would have put flying with kids on that list as well. Since we’ve had kids, all of our vacations have been road trips. Why? Well, for one they are cheaper. Secondly, you can always pull over and take a time out if the kids get a little too crazy. I really never entertained the idea of putting my two and four year old girls on an airplane. I didn’t want to be “that” family. You know what I’m talking about. The ones they do news stories about. The kids who don’t stop crying leading to all the other passengers demanding their money back. I just didn’t want to take the chance.

So, what happened? Why did I change my mind? Well, the eleven hour drive we would have had to take was starting to make me break out in hives. I could envision a symphony of “are we there yets?” with a chorus of “I have to pee” ever hour. I could feel my neck start to tense and my eyes burn with exhaustion. Wouldn’t it be easier to take a two hour flight and be able to enjoy the day when we arrive at our destination? It sounded like a lovely idea, although I still had anxiety. Would the plane bother their ears? Would they be too scared to even get on the plane?

Well, my girls surprised me…big time. They were so excited to get on the plane that any anxiety they may have had just disappeared. I never heard them say they were scared or that they didn’t want to get on. As a precaution, I gave them some Benadryl just in case their ears started to bother them. But, I never heard them complain. After about fifteen minutes in the air, my two-year-old fell asleep. My other daughter was just so excited, she just looked out the window and took it all in. Before I knew it, we were landing.

The ride home went just as well. This time I forgot to give them Benadryl, but they didn’t seem to really need it. This time both girls fell asleep for awhile! This was 100 times better than any road trip we ever took!

I know, I know. We were lucky. Things could have totally went the other way. They could have been kicking and screaming the entire way leading me to look for an emergency exit and a life vest. Thankfully, this wasn’t the case.

So, if you were like me, dreading flying with your kids, I’m here to tell you to give it a try. You won’t know until you do. I would advise starting off with a short flight(ours was two hours) just in case there are problems. In the end, we were able to enjoy the day once we arrived. It was like having an extra day of vacation. It was also nice to arrive home not feeling like a zombie!

Have you flown with your kids? How was your experience?

 

 

Night Night Phone

I will be the first to admit that I am semi-obsessed with my iPhone. I used to roll my eyes at people who constantly scrolled, texted, and tweeted through their days. I sadly admit, I am now becoming one of those people. They say the first step to fixing a problem is to admit you have one. So, there. I’m not saying I’m going to give up my phone completely. Come on now, I may break out in hives. But, I think I have come up with a way to hang up on my obsession…a little.

I started to get the idea when I was on vacation last week. I didn’t unplug completely, but I did loosen the cord. I checked all my fave sites in the morning and again before I went to bed. But that’s it. I wasn’t constantly looking to see who liked my photo or who just tweeted they went to the bathroom. I didn’t catch an email just as it came in my inbox. Guess what? I survived! Shocker, I know. By tuning out my phone I noticed I was more tuned in to my surroundings. Granted, I was near a beach. But, you get the point. I started to remember the days before my smart phone began to transform me into an anti-social notification hungry nut.

So, now that I’m home in my not so picturesque surroundings, I’ve come up with a plan to control my phone frenzy. It starts with really making an effort to limit my phone usage during the day. That means resisting the urge to constantly check for updates. Instead, I can use that time to play with my kids or get more things done around the house. But, the big change is…drumroll please…saying goodnight to my phone so I’m not constantly on it before bed. My new rule is to put it to bed when I put my kids to bed. If I can do this, I will have a few hours to do things like have a real conversation with my husband or watch one of the dozens of shows in my DVR and read a book. I’ll admit, it’s hard to resist the urge, but I’m trying…baby steps…baby steps.

If you can relate to anything that I just wrote, how about trying to make the change too? Isn’t it times to say night night phone?

What the Fork? Who Has a Potty Mouth?

It’s the moment any parent dreads. The moment when your child learns how to say a swear word. He or she may not be able to say their name all that well, but they sure know how to say “fork” like it’s second nature. Of course you laugh at first because you have no idea that the word or words are about to come out of that little mouth. But, after the shock, awe, and a few giggles you really need to squash it like a bug. But, what if you do and it still happens…repeatedly?

If you haven’t been able to guess, my little princess angels have learned some rather unlady like words. Does it make me a bad parent? No. Please say, no. It all started when I was driving one day and some jerk cut me off. Instead of calling him a jerk or something else that didn’t start with an “F”, I chose some other words that are not exactly in the Bible, if you know what I mean. All of a sudden, I hear an echo like there’s some kind of parakeet in the car. But, she wasn’t saying, “polly want a cracker?” Instead, she repeated my profanity in the sweetest little voice…and then laughed. She knew it was bad. She knew she shouldn’t say it. But, she did. Ooopsy…mommy made a boo boo.

I could lie and say that was the only time she ever said it. My two-year-old says it on occasion. My four-year-old, not so much. It’s the little one who has a little truck driver mouth. Of course I yell, of course I punish, but yet those words have not been erased from her ever growing vocabulary. Oopsy! All I can say is at least she uses it when it’s appropriate…like when the Target lady wouldn’t give her her toothpaste after she asked a few times. Thankfully the lady didn’t get what she was saying, but I knew all to well, and so did my little potty mouth toddler. Of course I yelled at her outside and told her I would run over her favorite teddy bear if she said it again. Of course she stopped saying it…for awhile. Of course she still says it now. Sigh.

So, what’s a mom to do besides watch every word that comes out of her mouth to make sure they are all “G” rated? I’m still working on that one. For right now I’m hoping this is just a phase. Really, I am.

 

Why I Don’t Want a “Perfect” Mother’s Day

“Oh my gosh…my kids got me flowers, jewelry, and took me out to the best restaurant. It was the perfect Mother’s Day.”

Have you ever heard some women say this? I have. It makes me want to poke my eyes out with a spork. Trust me, I’m not jealous and I’m not being a hater…really. I just don’t think that’s what the day is about. At least not to me.

Don’t get me wrong, I love flowers and jewelry and going out to eat, but it’s not the whole kit and caboodle.

What really is all that and a bag of chips is this craft my daughter came home with from school:

mother's dayIf you can zoom in and read the fine print it says, “Sometimes you get discouraged because I am so small, And always leave my fingerprints on the furniture and wall. But every day I’m growing, I’ll be all grown up some day and those tiny little handprints will surely fade away. So here’s a final handprint to help you recall exactly how my fingers looked when I was very small.”

I’d be lying if I say I didn’t get teary eyed. This was so sweet and the words so true. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dropped an “F” bomb because I’ve stepped on another Barbie shoe or am cleaning up juice off a floor I’ve just mopped. At times like these I don’t think to enjoy the moment or about how fast they grow up. I’m honestly thinking about how annoying the situation is at the time. Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and not sweat the small, stupid stuff. It really doesn’t matter.

What does matter is spending time with your little ones, soaking up all the little laughs, pushing them on the swing, making sand castles, cheering because they finally mastered riding a tricycle, hugs, kisses, and bedtime stories. So if a “perfect” Mother’s Day doesn’t include these things, I don’t want it.

Instead, I’ll take an “unperfect” day of staying home, spending time with my family, and doing whatever else we feel like doing. I won’t need to try it on or need a gift receipt. It will be just right.