POSTS TAGGED : kindness

The Most Important Back to School Lesson

The Most Important Back to School Lesson

Parents, it’s that time. Perhaps it’s the one you’ve been waiting for since the middle of June.

It’s back to school time!

Cue the applause!

When it comes to back to school preps, there are so many things to do. From clothes shopping to making sure you get the right school supplies not to mention the back to school haircut, this time of year can become exhausting.

Amid all of the running around, you’re probably instilling some reminders and some new rules too. Do any of these sound familiar?

  • Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
  • Don’t be too chatty in class.
  • Try to actually eat your lunch at lunch so you’re not starving when you get home.
  • Pay attention in class.
  • Raise your hand and ask questions.

These are all things I’ve been telling my little ones. But none of those is the most important lesson of all.

The most important back to school lesson that I’m trying to instill in my girls is to be kind. 

I tell them while you don’t need to be BFFs with everyone, you do need to be kind to everyone.

What does that mean?

It means greeting everyone with a simple hello or good morning.

It means not taking part in any name calling or bullying; in fact, if you witness any of that behavior you need to tell an adult so that it can stop.

It means not laughing at someone when they trip or give the wrong answer in class.

It means offering a helping hand whenever you can.

It means asking another student to sit with you at lunch when you notice they’re always sitting alone.

It means not saying anything if you have nothing nice to say.

It means treating other people as you want to be treated.

Basically, it means just being a good little human.

While all of this sounds pretty easy, ask any child if it is and if many kids do it and they’ll tell you that’s not the case…not even close.

Kids can be downright mean to one another for no reason.

They name call, bully, and can be rude.

Why?

I truly believe that no child is born that way; rude, mean, and with no regard for others. I wholeheartedly believe it starts with what they’re learning at home or not learning for that matter.

Is there anyone there who is telling them not to make fun of the other kids or to always say good morning?

I think in more and more cases the answer is no.

Sometimes parents are so busy with their own lives or making sure their kids are competing academically that they forget about the basic need to be kind. In some cases, there are some parents who may not even find that important.

That’s why I arm my girls with the cold hard fact that some kids can be mean so that they’re not surprised when they encounter them. They already know it’s true because they’ve experienced kids being cruel as young as six years old. They’ve been on the receiving end and know how horrible it feels. That’s even more of a reason to be kind.

Being kind is one of those things that doesn’t take much effort but can mean the world to someone without you even knowing it.

As you get your kids ready for school and see them off on the first day, don’t forget the most important back to school lesson…be kind. It will go a long way in school and in life.

 

 

 

Can We Stop Raising Mean Girls?

Mean girls have been around for as long as I can remember.

Perhaps you’ve ran into a few when you were a kid.

Perhaps you were their target like I was.

Perhaps you were even one when you were growing up.

Perhaps your child has had the unfortunate experience of being the victim of one.

Perhaps your child is one.

Whatever the case, mean girls seem to hang on and exist despite anti-bullying programs and zero tolerance policies at school. I just can’t seem to figure out why. What joy can I child get out of hurting another child either mentally or physically? Maybe I’m just naïve, but I just don’t get it.

The only explanation I can come up with is that we are raising a society of mean girls. Truth be told we have been for what seems like forever. It’s not just in certain parts of the country. It’s not exclusive to certain schools or districts. It is everywhere. While I do think outside influences can play a part, I don’t think we can pass the blame. It starts at home.

What are we teaching at home? Are we teaching kindness? Are we teaching tolerance? Are we teaching our kids to be genuinely good people? Sadly, I don’t think enough of us are. If we were then mean girls would cease to exist. We as parents need to take responsibility for the types of people we are raising. We need to teach them to be kind. It would be unrealistic for us to teach them to be friends with everyone. That’s just not possible. What is possible is to teach them to treat everyone with respect and kindness. The golden rule never gets old. Treat others like you want to be treated. It’s as simple yet as complicated all in the same breath.

Do you think those mean girls would like it if they were treated like they treat others? Honestly, some of them have become so damaged that it may bounce right off of them and onto their next victim. Others may actually feel some of the pain they’ve inflicted on others.

If you think your kids need to reach middle school or high school to feel the wrath of mean girls, think again. It’s happening even younger than you may think. I’ve seen it in elementary schools and as early as first grade. It is heartbreaking. No parent should every have to explain mean girls to their crying child who just doesn’t understand what they could have done wrong when they know they’ve done nothing.

At those young ages where are these kids learning this type of behavior? Why do they think it is acceptable? The only answer that makes sense to me is that they are learning it from home. Perhaps it’s what they are not learning at home. They are not being taught basic values of being a decent human being. If this is the case then we are failing as parents. We are failing as a society.

Simply put, can we stop raising mean girls? Is it really too much to ask? I can guarantee that everyone will benefit if we can just figure it out.