Mom’s List to Santa

Dear Santa,

I know these lists are only supposed to be for the kids, but I think you know just as much as I do, us moms deserve a wish list too. We deal with the kids when they’re naughty, not just nice. I know you’ve been watching so you know what I’m talking about.

So Santa, do you think you can give me one day of peace and quiet? One day when I can actually watch a show without having to pause it every ten seconds. One day when I can have a phone conversation without having to clean up a spill or wipe a butt at the same time. I know that’s asking a lot.

Do you think you can make my older daughter stop playing school 24/7? I’m all for learning, but I can not take playing school for two hours every day when she comes home from being in school all day long! Santa, it drives me insane.

I would also love if I could have one night when I don’t have an elbow to my head or a knee in my side. I just want everyone to sleep in their own beds all night long. Please.

I know this sounds like a weird one, but can you give me some time to clean and organize my house in peace? You know how OCD I used to be and how it kills me when things get too out of control. I could be more efficient if I didn’t have to break up an argument every ten minutes or change Barbie’s outfits because her clothes are too darn tight.

Santa, can you help my little girl say the word “funk” better so when she’s singing “Uptown Funk” people don’t think she’s a truck driver? On the same page, can you help her with her “s” sound so that when she’s talking about “shows” people don’t think she’s talking about something else?

Can you also give me the energy to get up and go to the gym everyday so I don’t get a muffin top and there’s not more junk in my trunk?

I think that just about does it for now Santa. I know I’m asking for a lot here. I know you have to try to fulfill the wish lists of all the other mommy’s out there too. But, I’m sure our elf, Sweet Abigail, told you I’ve been a good girl this year. So, maybe you could move me up the list?

Thanks for listening Santa. I’m signing off now to try to finish the book I’ve been reading for two months now. Perhaps I’ll finish it before summer.

Merry Christmas!