You’re the best mom…sometimes

As we approach Mother’s Day, the one day of the year when our kids are obligated to be nice to us, clean, make us a card, and maybe even get us a present, I’m reminded of something my youngest daughter said to me this week.

“You’re the best mom.”

Awe…how sweet!

Wait for it…”sometimes.”


I looked at her, and thought, what? wait…really? Sometimes? Talk about a backhanded compliment!

Then I thought about it and realized she was right.

I am the best mom…sometimes.

As much as I would like to think I’m on point everyday, there are days when I look in the mirror and know I’m far from it.

There are days when I cringe after hearing “mommy” for what seems like the 100th time. Can’t I change my name?

There are times when the sound of little feet running into my room before 7 a.m. on the weekend makes me wish I had a trap door under my bed that I could escape into.

There are days when the thought of making another school lunch drives me insane.

There are days when I’d rather poke my eyes with a spork then go to soccer practice, another birthday party, or the park. What happened to the days of going to yoga and watching “Lifetime” movies? Oh yeah, I had kids.

There are days when I just want to scream “leave me alone!” But I know I can’t.

There are days when I swear too much and hope my kids won’t repeat what they’ve heard at the most inopportune times.

These are the days when I don’t feel like the best mom…not even close! These are the days when I feel like a hot mess…days that I question how I’m going to make it through to the next.

Then there are the days when my kids snuggle up next to me and give me the best hugs ever.

There are the days when I multi-task like it’s no one’s business and nail it.

There are the days when my girls get upset and I come up with some witty and comforting words from God knows where and they tell me they feel better afterwards.

There are the days when strangers come up to me and tell me how well-behaved my kids are.

There are the days when my kids accomplish something so wonderful that I can’t believe how proud I am of them.

These are the days when I do feel like the best mom…like I must be doing something right to have such great little humans.

I think being the best mom is realizing that you don’t always have the answers and you’re going to make mistakes. There are countless times that my kids ask me a question and I will tell them I don’t know…that includes third grade math homework!

Letting your kids see you’re not perfect is good for their souls because they hopefully will realize that no one is perfect and that it’s okay to make mistakes.

So when my daughter tells me I’m the best mom…sometimes, she’s just keeping it real. And I’m okay with that.


The Real Meaning of Mother’s Day

While many mothers may actually look forward to the second Sunday in May, I can’t say I do.

It’s not that I hate it or anything. It just doesn’t make me want to back flips.

In case you didn’t know this Sunday is Mother’s Day.

It’s the one day of the year when you’re obligated to buy Mom an over-priced bouquet of flowers, a shiny new necklace, chocolates and a spa treatment.

Been there, done that.

Retailers love Mother’s Day if you couldn’t tell by the bombardment of ads that we see for all of the “perfect” Mother’s Day gifts. I think I read somewhere that Mother’s Day is one of the top “holidays” for retailers. I can’t say I’m surprised. But I can say that it makes me sad.

While it’s great to be recognized for all of the jobs that fall under the mommy umbrella, I don’t need my family to pay homage on one day. I know it’s just a gesture, but sometimes I hate when people do things because they are expected of them. It means so much more when it comes out of nowhere and for no real reason in particular.

The real meaning of Mother’s Day comes in everyday life. It comes in the “I love you’s” and hugs my kids give me everyday because they want to, not because they feel like it’s what they should be doing on Mother’s Day.

The real meaning of Mother’s Day is when your child says a big thank-you for chaperoning a class trip.

The real meaning of Mother’s Day is when your kids ask you to snuggle up on the couch with them to watch TV.

The real meaning of Mother’s Day is when your child isn’t feeling well and only wants mommy to comfort them.

The real meaning of Mother’s Day is when your kids do a household chore without you screaming at them to do it.

The real meaning of Mother’s Day is when your child colors you a picture of your family because they want to, not because their teacher told them it was time to make Mom a Mother’s Day card.

The real meaning of Mother’s Day is when your kids tell you that you look pretty when you’re not especially feeling that pretty at the moment.

The real meaning of Mother’s Day can’t be measured in flowers, chocolates, or facials. It’s measured in those special moments that you just want to bottle up and save forever.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mommas out there! May you find the real meaning of Mother’s Day.



Why I Don’t Want Any Gifts for Mother’s Day

We all know Mother’s Day is coming up faster than you can say flowers and jewelry. You just have to look in an ad or go in a store if you weren’t sure.

“Look it’s _____ ,the perfect gift for Mom this Mother’s Day.” You can fill in the blank with the Mother’s Day typical gifts…flowers, perfume, jewelry, gift card, etc. Choose whichever one you think is going to make the Hallmark holiday one Mom will never, ever forget.

Ugh. Spare me.

I think I’ll pass on the one-day Mom lovefest.

Although I’ve written posts before about what I really wanted for Mother’s Day (peace, quiet, spa day, etc.), I’ve changed my mind this year.

I don’t want any gifts for Mother’s Day.

Now before you strip me of my Mommy crown, hear me out.

Sure, I love to get gifts and get pampered just as much as the next momma. Do I deserve gifts? Sure, why not. But, why do we have to guilt our kids and significant others to buy us something special, take us out to eat, and let us put our feet up on just one day?

Are they doing it out of the kindness of their hearts or because they feel like it’s the “right” thing to do?


Flowers for Mother's Day? No thanks! How about on Tuesday?

Flowers for Mother’s Day?
No thanks!
How about on Tuesday?

I would much rather like a bouquet of flowers just because it’s Tuesday, rather than because it’s Mother’s Day.

Why? First of all, I wouldn’t be expecting it if it was just Tuesday. I would know that there was an actual thought behind it. It wasn’t an automated response to a day on the calendar.

How about some jewelry? No thanks!

How about some jewelry?
No thanks!

If I have to wait until the second Sunday in May for my kids to be nice to me or my husband to give me a break and let me just chill out, then I must be doing something wrong the other 364 days of the year. My kids should be nice to me everyday, okay, at least every other day. The same goes for the hubs. He shouldn’t have to wait until Mother’s Day to realize I don’t yearn to clean up after everyone 24/7.

Now, I know there are women out there who really enjoy and look forward to getting showered with gifts, cards, and flowers on Mother’s Day. They look forward to not having to cook and clean for one entire day.

That’s great.

I don’t mean to poop on your lovely bouquet of roses and day of relaxation, really I don’t. But, just think about what happens the other days of the year.

We all know being a mother is more than just getting props for one day.

My 5-year-old daughter asked me the other day what I wanted for Mother’s Day. When I answered, “nothing”, she looked at me as if I just told her Caillou was dead (now that would be a REAL gift).

I went on to tell her that Mommy doesn’t need any gifts and that she and her sister were my gifts. I know it may sound cheesy, but it’s the truth Ruth.

As much as they drive me nuts and make me scream in octaves I thought only opera singers could reach, they are my little booger-nosed, “mommy wipe my butt”, “can I have another cookie?”, filled treasures.

Although I won’t be looking for gifts, I will take all the hugs and kisses I can get when my kids and husband wish me a Happy Mother’s Day.

So, what are you looking forward to this Mother’s Day?





Why I Don’t Want a “Perfect” Mother’s Day

“Oh my gosh…my kids got me flowers, jewelry, and took me out to the best restaurant. It was the perfect Mother’s Day.”

Have you ever heard some women say this? I have. It makes me want to poke my eyes out with a spork. Trust me, I’m not jealous and I’m not being a hater…really. I just don’t think that’s what the day is about. At least not to me.

Don’t get me wrong, I love flowers and jewelry and going out to eat, but it’s not the whole kit and caboodle.

What really is all that and a bag of chips is this craft my daughter came home with from school:

mother's dayIf you can zoom in and read the fine print it says, “Sometimes you get discouraged because I am so small, And always leave my fingerprints on the furniture and wall. But every day I’m growing, I’ll be all grown up some day and those tiny little handprints will surely fade away. So here’s a final handprint to help you recall exactly how my fingers looked when I was very small.”

I’d be lying if I say I didn’t get teary eyed. This was so sweet and the words so true. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dropped an “F” bomb because I’ve stepped on another Barbie shoe or am cleaning up juice off a floor I’ve just mopped. At times like these I don’t think to enjoy the moment or about how fast they grow up. I’m honestly thinking about how annoying the situation is at the time. Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and not sweat the small, stupid stuff. It really doesn’t matter.

What does matter is spending time with your little ones, soaking up all the little laughs, pushing them on the swing, making sand castles, cheering because they finally mastered riding a tricycle, hugs, kisses, and bedtime stories. So if a “perfect” Mother’s Day doesn’t include these things, I don’t want it.

Instead, I’ll take an “unperfect” day of staying home, spending time with my family, and doing whatever else we feel like doing. I won’t need to try it on or need a gift receipt. It will be just right.




What Do I Want for Mother’s Day?

Sometimes Mother’s Day is kinda like Christmas. There’s so much hype about it, and at times the reality doesn’t live up to all the expectations. Sometimes Santa doesn’t fill your wish list, whether it’s December or May.

So, what are the big Mother’s Day gifts? Flowers, candy, jewelry…they’re alright, but do I really want them for Mother’s Day? Honestly, no…especially not the candy. Swimsuit season is practically here and a pound of truffles is not going to help the cause. Flowers…well, I guess they aren’t bad, but they’re going to die in a week anyway.  Jewelry…it’s pretty, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not diggin it this year. So, what’s left?

There are loads of other “Mom” gifts that all the stores are trying to pawn off on all the men looking for that “perfect” gift. But, I don’t see any of those stores wrapping a big bow around a box of “peace and quiet”, “I’m not doing s***t today”, and “Can everyone just STFU today”, do you? They also seem to be forgetting “nap in a box”.  Those, my friends, would be great! But no, instead, we are brainwashed to believe that a bracelet and a dozen of roses would be oh so much better.

I know a lot of you out there would love some flowers, candy, or jewelry, and that’s just fine with me. But, you can’t honestly say you wouldn’t enjoy a day where the kids didn’t scream, a day when you didn’t accidentally stick your finger in poop because your daughter moved faster than you could move the diaper, or even a day when you didn’t have to ask your significant other to unload the dishwasher (the dishes don’t magically walk themselves back into the cabinet, contrary to popular belief).

I think when it comes to Mother’s Day, actions speak louder than gifts. Showing a momma she’s appreciated, or God forbid, actually speaking the words, can actually get you a lot further. Women dig that stuff, trust me.

Okay, so what’s on your Mother’s Day wish list? What’s on mine? Honestly, I just want to have a nice drama free day with the people I love, and I’m not just saying that. If some gifts come my way, so be it. If not, I’m good. I’ll just be steering clear of the poop and the dishwasher.

The Perfect Present

   Many men search and search for the perfect Mother’s Day gift. Where do I go? What do I get? What does she really want? Jewelry, flowers, a fancy dinner…they’re all great gifts, but not really what I’m looking for this Mother’s Day. Although if they did come my way, I wouldn’t say no! (Mama didn’t raise a fool!)
   Although I’m only about to celebrate my second year of this joyous holiday, I’ve quickly come to realize being a mom can sometimes be a thankless job. Don’t misunderstand me though, the rewards are great. Seeing your child do something or say something for the first time, or just getting a big old hug and smile are heart-warming. But sometimes, you just need a little something extra.
   As mothers, we do so much besides take care of our children. Often times, we’re the cooks, the maids, the organizers, the financial planners…etc. And those jobs are just ones that have to do with the house. Many of us work outside the home, which brings on a whole other dimension of responsibilities and headaches. We do all these things with hardly ever getting a “thank-you” or a “good job” or a “hey, can I help you with that?”. I’ve learned all the hats we wear as mothers just seem to come along with having a uterus.
   So this Mother’s Day, it would be great to actually hear the appreciation through words, not just gifts. They say actions speak louder than words. But, not when those words are never spoken. Although you may know you are appreciated, it would be nice to hear it once…and really it probably will only happen once! I’m not talking about a sappy litany of appreciation and love sponsored by Hallmark. A simple, “Thanks, you’re the best” would really be the perfect present. Guys, if your little ones can’t the words out yet, it’s your job to be the spokesman. Those words will never rot and smell bad in a vase in a week. They’ll never be forgotten at the bottom of the jewelry box or be spent on something foolish. They’ll actually be something remembered, something treasured…the perfect present.