POSTS TAGGED : new year’s resolutions

Why 2018 Should be the Year of You

As moms we tend to put everyone else’s needs in front of our own, and that includes Barbie who always gets her hair knotted in her elastic and needs help buttoning her pants.

Why do we do this? Is it just a case of our mothering nature? Maybe it’s a part of that unspoken oath we all took on the delivery table as we gave birth. Whatever the case, it can leave a momma downright exhausted and feeling empty.

That’s why it’s time to let 2018 be the year of you.

Isn’t it time to give yourself some of that energy you so quickly give to others? Sure, it’s easier said than done. I always say I’m going to do it and then something happens. Who’s fault is that? Is it my kids? Is it Barbie’s fault? No, it’s my own. I’m not saying we, myself included, need to start being narcissists and let our kids fend for themselves 24/7, but a little more self-care never hurt. After all don’t all the experts say you need to be happy and take care of yourself before you can make anyone else happy? I know I’ve heard that countless times before.

That’s where choice comes into play. I’m a firm believer in choice. We all make choices and those choices affect how we live our lives and how we feel about ourselves. If you choose to forego that workout because you’re afraid your kids will miss you too much and no one will be able to do Barbie’s hair like you do, that’s on you. We all know how guilty our kids can make us feel. Plus, Barbie can wait. She’s not going anywhere. But, think about how bad you’re going to feel if you miss that workout you so desperately want. You may become so resentful that you end up taking out your frustrations on your kids instead of zumbaing it out. Get to the gym!

What about skipping out on that date night with your significant other just because the thought of getting a babysitter is exhausting? Trust me, they’ll survive. That time away is a good thing. It gives everyone a much needed time out and time to refresh. I always feel like I’m a better parent once I’ve had some “time off”. Sometimes you need a break, even if it’s just a quick dinner out for a couple of hours. Go out!

When you become a parent your hobbies seem to get lost in the Legos if you know what I mean. I used to be an avid reader, and not of kid’s picture books…of books with actual chapters and paragraphs longer than two sentences. It used to relax me and give me a much needed escape. Why did I stop? I could blame it on my kids, but it really was my choice. I chose to do other things, like folding clothes, putting dishes away, etc. with whatever free time I had. If 2018 is going to be the year of me, it means more reading too. Get reading!

Another “mom thing” seems to be the incessant need to say “yes” to every invitation you and your kids receive. You wouldn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, would you? What about your feelings? What about what you want? I’ve learned the hard way that it’s okay to say no. Quite frankly, no one really cares if you make it to their event as much as you think they do. Ouch! I know that’s hard to hear, but it’s the truth. Sometimes free time is more important than taking your child to a birthday party of a classmate she hardly knows just because she wants to be nice. Get used to saying no!

I think by doing these little things or whatever else you’ve been neglecting can truly help you make 2018 the year of you. What do you say?

 

 

 

More Patience & Presence in the New Year

It’s almost time to watch the iconic ball drop in Times Square, signaling the start of another year. It’s the time many of us make a list of cliché resolutions like losing weight and exercising more. While those are important, often times we make them, can’t or don’t keep them, and then feel like a failure…again. Aren’t resolutions supposed to lift us up instead of pull us down?

I love the start of the new year for the fact that it’s a time to start with a clean slate. This is not to say that everything that happened the year before doesn’t matter, because it does. You can learn from what the previous year left behind, but you can also embark on new journeys with the hope a new year brings.

A chance to do better.

A chance to be better.

A chance to make a difference.

A chance to chase your dreams.

A chance to appreciate the things around you.

As a mother the days are so jam-packed with work, kids, and everyday nonsense that you forget to appreciate the things around you. In fact, instead of appreciating them, you often ignore them and tell yourself you’ll have that extra five minutes tomorrow to take it all in. But, tomorrow doesn’t seem to come. There’s always something to occupy that extra five minutes.

If 2016 has taught me anything, it is to truly value each moment and day because tomorrow is not guaranteed. Things can change so quickly that you’ll think you’re living someone else’s life.

That’s why 2017 will be the year of patience and presence.

Patience with my kids when they yell “mommy” for what feels like the hundredth time in a day. One day they’ll think they’re too cool for their mommy. That’s why I need to appreciate every minute I have with them now.

Patience when my kids want to play another board game when all I want to do is sit and enjoy my coffee. Time will pass so fast that those board games will end up in a tag sale quicker then I can say “go fish”.

Patience when I need peace and quiet and my house feels like it’s out of control. One day the house will be too quiet and I’ll miss all the noise.

Patience when things don’t happen fast enough or when I think they should. Everything does happen for a reason. Every time I get frustrated and look back it’s clear why things turned out like they did.

Patience when I get down on myself for one thing or another. No one is perfect no matter how things may appear.

Presence with my family. Facebook and e-mail can wait. Our parents didn’t have their heads buried in their phones, so why do we? I can admit I’m guilty of it.

Presence in “little” moments…a laugh, a smile, a sunset. Not to sound morbid but you don’t know when it will be your last.

Presence in everyday life. Many of us, myself included, just seem to go through the motions. We do what we do because it’s what we’ve always done. Are we really into it? Many times the answer is no. It’s time to tune in and take in every moment, even the mundane ones. Sometimes being present in your life means saying no to people every once and awhile and doing what makes you happy. This is not to say we should all become selfish people, but there comes a time when you have to put yourself first. Be present in your life.

The list can go on and on, but I think you get the idea.  I simply felt compelled to write this because I think patience and presence can get pushed aside when we’re dealing with our kids and busy lives. They are the things that we sometimes need to be reminded about from time to time. There’s no better time than the start of a new year. Hopefully I inspired just one person to try to be more present and patient in 2017. If I didn’t, that’s okay too.

Here’s to a new year of new memories and possibilities…and to patience and presence! Cheers!

 

A New Year’s Resolution List from My Kids

A New Year’s Resolution List from My Kids

Dear Mom,

We’ve heard you talk about these things called “New Year’s Resolutions” a lot lately. We heard you say you want to eat better and exercise more so you don’t get a muffin top. We kinda don’t get that because we always like the tops of muffins. You know we actually like them better than the rest of the muffin, so we really hope you’re not trying to get rid of all the muffin tops.

We also don’t know what kind of junk is in the trunk that you talk about getting rid of. You’re a bit of a neat freak. The only “junk” we see is a stroller that you insist on driving around with although you really know we don’t need it. So, if you want to get rid of that “junk”, we’re all for it.

We also heard you say you want to read more and write more. We’d settle for learning to read and write well. But, we know you’re  a bit of a nerd, so we get this one if that’s what you want to do.

Since you’re doing all this stuff, we thought we should be doing things too. Here’s a list of things we came up with:

1. Sleep in our own beds more than just once a week– Although we love a good snuggle, you probably don’t like all the elbows and knees to the rib all night. Sorry, but that’s just how we roll.

2. Try to put more toys away– We know you keep stepping on Barbie’s head and getting Lego imprints in the bottom of your feet, but what’s the point in putting all the toys away when we’re just gonna take them all out again tomorrow? Plus, you keep saying “fudge” every time you trip on something. We like fudge, so this one is going to be a tough Mom, just warning you.

3. Go to bed easier– We know you want us to go to bed so you can do your stuff, but we really don’t want to. But, we’ll try. We guess.

4.Share-It’s just one small word, but for some reason you yell it a lot. We can try to do better here.

5. Clean Our Own Butts– Who really wants to wipe poop from their butts? Not us. This one is going to take some time.

We can’t promise we’ll get all of these done, but we’ll sure try. Just please, save the muffin tops.

Love,

Your Daughters

Okay, before you think my kids actually came up with this list, let me tell you, they didn’t. If my 5 and 3-year-olds could, these are things I would love for them to do. I’m sure every mom has a list of their own out there.

I can tell you numbers one, two, and five, have already been broken…many times.

Number three has seen the most success, with number four dragging behind.

We’re only a few days into 2015, so we’ll see how it  goes.

As for the muffin tops, and junk in the trunk…I’ll see what I can do!

What kinds of resolutions would you like to see your kids make?