You know when “it” has happened.
“It” happens to all of us every time again even if you’re one of those people who doesn’t want to admit that it does.
“It” is when everyone including their senile aunt is staring you down as if you were walking around spitting fire.
“It” is when you become “that” family.
“It” recently happened to my family.
“It” was nasty, gross, and smelly.
Here’s how “it” went down…
Once upon a time there was a mommy, daddy, and two little princesses. They decided to go out for a nice seafood dinner while they were out of town. The older princess was especially excited because she practically loved seafood more than Caillou…well, almost.
Anyway, when this little family walked in, many of the other people couldn’t help but say how cute the little princesses were in their matching sundresses. When the little family went to sit at their table, the princesses asked if they could order Shirley Temple drinks. The mommy and daddy said yes, what could be the harm? (We’ll find out in a bit)
So, the princesses have their Shirley Temples and decide to order clam chowder…yummy. Both princesses finish their soup and are happy as can be. Once their seafood dinners come, the older princess couldn’t wait to dive in. But, when she did, she spit out a piece.
“This is gross,” she said.
“Yeah, icky,” agreed the younger princess.
“It’s fine, just eat it,” says the mommy.
So, the princesses eat another bite, only to scrunch their noses in disgust. This is when the older princess tells her mommy she doesn’t feel good.
Uh-oh thinks the mommy.
“Let’s go to the bathroom,” says the mommy.
The older princess nods her head in agreement. As they walk to the complete opposite part of the restaurant, the older princess puts her hand over her mouth. The mommy instantly knows what is going to happen next. The two can’t walk fast enough. All of a sudden, the princess throws up a Shirley Temple, clam chowder concoction that smelled worse than a baby’s diaper. All of this happens in the middle of the dining room.
In that moment, they became “that” family.
The mommy hurries to throw some napkins over her daughter’s mess as a woman comments, “how disgusting”. Guess she didn’t think the princess was that cute anymore! Oh how mommy would have loved to talk to her but she had to get to the bathroom before the next eruption. Time was everything.
Luckily they made it to the bathroom where the poor little princess got sick again.
“I just want to go home”, she wailed. Other women heard her and were nice enough to bring a cup of water and some wet clothes to calm down the princess. The mommy’s faith in humanity was restored! The mommy was having doubts after hearing the other woman’s comment in the dining room.
After the princess was feeling better, she walked back to her seat with her mommy and past the rude lady. The mommy gave the woman a dirty look as she walked by. The mommy knew she was a part of “that” family that night.
So, the family took the rest of their meal home, paid the check and left.