A Mother of a Day

  As a mother there are days, and then there are days with your children. You know those days. The ones that have you ready to tweeze every hair out of your head or go play in traffic or maybe tweeze every hair while playing in traffic. Whatever the case may be, kids can trade their halos for horns in a millisecond and drive you insane.

  So, what kind of things would make you want to buy a one way ticket to Zimbabwe? Let’s see. For starters, your kid saying she has to pee everywhere you go although she has had nothing to drink for awhile. Then, when you get to the bathroom, she simply says no and walks away. Deep breath. Perhaps, it’s having your baby contort her body as she desperately tries to free herself from her stroller as if she’s possessed. Did I mention this is happening at the mall where you just wanted to buy one thing but end up leaving because you’re so annoyed?

  Wait, there’s more. How about having one child lick the wall, while the other uses your floor as a teething ring? Or one of my faves, having a bottle of water poured on the floor just for the hell of it. Then there’s the constant fighting over toys between one child who says everything is hers and another who can’t tell the other one to stop. Don’t forget the projectile vomit all over your arm and hands and in the crevice of your rings. That may be my fave.

  All of this can really make you want to curl up in a fetal position and just hide. But you can’t. You’re the momma. All of this craziness comes with the territory, like it or not. They’re just kids, but it can still drive you nuts. Maybe that’s why there’s one whole day dedicated to us for what we deal with the other 364.Happy Mother’s Day!

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