POST CATEGORY : Parenting

I Pooped My Nemo

Potty training. It really is one of the most annoying things about having a toddler. You desperately want them out of diapers especially when they poop worse than you do. No one likes cleaning that. No one. You desperately want to ditch the diaper bag you’ve been lugging around for more than two years and exchange it for one the pocket books that’s been collecting dust in your closet. Hell, maybe even treat yourself and buy a new bag. You deserve it.

Instead, you spend your days trying to tell your little one that there are no more Pull-Ups in the house even though she knows they are hiding in your bag. You try to tell her no one else in the house wears diapers. You try to show her how cute it is to have Dora or the Disney Princesses all over her little butt. She’s not buying it. Nothing much seems to work.

If you haven’t been able to tell, I’m the middle of potty training my younger daughter. As much as I thought it was going to be a breeze, I was wrong. The potty seemed to be her BFF for a short time. She went to pee every now and again and thought it was great. Now, not so much. I tried letting her pee in her underwear. She got wet, got changed, and moved on with her day. It didn’t faze her. That is until she had to poop.

One day when she was in the playroom, I hear my older daughter yell that her sister pooped in her underwear. It doesn’t get much worse than that from the whole cleaning up perspective. As I walked in, I hear my pooper say, “Mommy, I pooped my Nemo.” You see, she was wearing underwear with Nemo all over it. Well, now Nemo wasn’t so pretty. She pooped for sure. After I cleaned her up, I told her not to poop on Nemo anymore. It’s so 2013.

To this day, Nemo has managed to stay clean. Instead, she takes off her underwear and grabs a Pull-Up. She does her business in her Pull-Up and then tells me she pooped. Couldn’t you have just gone in the potty instead? I. Don’t. Get. It.

Anyway, that’s where we are. The pediatrician says not to push it. She says it will click one day. I know she’s right, because that’s what happened with my first. I’m just sick of cleaning diapers and paying for them! For now, our goal is to keep Nemo, Dora, and all the other characters poop free.

The Quest for Elsa

Three weeks ago I had a “clever” idea for my girls’ Easter baskets. Since they are obsessed with the movie “Frozen”, I thought it would cute to give them each a basket with a “Frozen” doll in it. My older daughter would get Elsa, of course, and my younger, Anna. Oh what a great Easter morning we would have as they squealed with excitement over their new dolls. The Easter Bunny would be the hero and we would all live happily ever after, just like Elsa and Anna.

anna4Or, this would happen. I would be shopping at Target and notice one Anna doll left. I would pick it up (on sale, of course), and just go to another store and pick up Elsa. No biggie. Well, I must have been under a rock because not only could I not find Elsa at Target, I couldn’t find her anywhere. Not one freakin’ Elsa doll. It wasn’t just Elsa who melted off the shelf. All the “Frozen” areas looked like a bomb exploded. There was hardly any merchandise to be had. So, I did what anyone would do these days, I posted my frustrations on Facebook. To my surprise other mothers were experiencing the same thing and told me there are no dolls ANYWHERE!elsa2

I certainly couldn’t give one daughter a basket with an Anna doll and not give another basket with Elsa. It’s like listening to Bon Jovi without Jon or going to a Maroon 5 concert without seeing Adam Levine. It just doesn’t cut it. So my next logical step was to search the land where dreams come true, if you are willing to pay the price. I’m talking about eBay of course. Well, let me tell you, Elsa and friends are selling for some big bucks. If you don’t mind melting down your wallet, you can have any doll you want. I just wanted Elsa.

Luckily, I found one with a starting bid of $19.99. Not bad, I thought, only a few bucks above retail. With only a couple of hours left, I thought I had a good chance. As the time got closer, I started to bid. As fast as I could put in a price, I was getting outbid! I found myself running on adrenaline. Did I really want the doll or did I just want to win the bid? Anyway, when the price got to $40.oo, I had to stop. I couldn’t morally allow myself to pay that much for a doll. So, I moved on to another one that only had seventeen minutes left on the bid. Bids were only at twenty dollars. I went back and forth, sweating it out for sixteen minutes and forty five seconds.

In the last fifteen seconds, I put out a $28.00 bid and won! I couldn’t believe it. Knowing now that these dolls are going for big bucks, I think I got a pretty good deal paying only about twelve dollars above retail.

Elsa arrived a few days ago in perfect shape. Brand, spanking new! I can’t wait to wrap her up. Excuse me, the Easter Bunny can’t wait to wrap her up. I can’t wait to see my daughters’ faces Easter morning.

I know so many moms who are still hunting for Elsa and friends. Apparently, Disney just can’t keep up with demand. There are even buying limits at some stores. So, unless you want to go broke, you may have to “let it go.”

 

 

 

 

5 Things I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a SAHM

It’s the life of champagne wishes and caviar dreams. You’re a stay at home mom. You don’t have to listen to a boss. You can pretty much do what you want when you want. You have all the time in the world to devote to yourself and to your home.  You must be floating on freshly fluffed pillows every morning when you wake up and realize this is really your life.

Reality check.

You can’t remember the last time you had champagne. You have two little bosses who constantly nag you for stuff with a deadline of NOW. You can’t do whatever you want when you want because if you did you would have a weekly massage every Thursday afternoon after your manicure. Every day you notice some new cob web or area that really needs to be cleaned. You’ll get to it…one of these days. You can’t remember the last time you slept an entire night on your pillow all by yourself because one of your kids always ends up climbing into your bed. This is really your life.

Since I have been in the world of SAHM-dom for more than two years, I’ve come to realize the many misconceptions people still have about the lives we lead. I could honestly write a book. I, too, had many preconceived notions that I now laugh at. Silly, silly, me. With that said, I’ve come up with five things I wish I knew before becoming a SAHM.

1. You won’t be cooking meals that would make Rachel Ray jealous

“I can’t wait until I’m home so I can try new recipes.” Yep, I remember myself saying those very words. Well, chicken cutlets are still the “house special” and when I see a recipe with more than six ingredients, I still turn the page. If you were never a lover of the culinary arts, you won’t become one just because you have more time at home. The sooner you realize it, the happier you will be.

2. You’re not a circus; don’t try to entertain your kids like you are one

You can’t be “on” for your kids 24/7. This is something I still grapple with everyday. I feel guilty if I’m not doing something with them. That’s the reason I stayed home, right? It is alright to let them entertain themselves. In fact, it’s probably better for them. I’m learning this. You should too. Sure you can do stuff with them, but you don’t have to keep pulling out tricks from your hat.

3. Schedule “time off” for yourself every week

Just because you stay home doesn’t mean you can’t have time for yourself. You may not have the twenty minute car ride to work by yourself or a designated lunch break every day, but you can still have time off. The best way to do this when you’re a SAHM is to schedule it. It may sound silly, but I’ve found it’s the only thing that works. Find a time every week when you know you’ll most likely be able to find a sitter. Stick to that time as “your time”. Use it to do something for yourself. It may be hard, but anything worth having doesn’t come easy, right?

4. Have other interests besides your kids

Okay, so once you can schedule that “time off” you may want to use it to explore interests that are not for the five and under crowd. What did you like to do before you were “so and so’s mom”? Do it now. Maybe you want to try something new…a new workout, a new hobby, etc. The point here is while you’re always going to be “so and so’s mom” you’re also always going to be “you”.  Find your passion and explore it. You don’t have to stop following your dreams just because you decided to be a SAHM.

5. Accept your accomplishments as a SAHM and don’t try to compare

As a SAHM it is sometimes so hard to figure out what your accomplishments are on a daily basis. Some days the only thing to brag about is the fact that you got your kid to the potty before she peed her pants. It’s okay. It’s still an accomplishment. Don’t try to compare it to the promotion your friend got at work. If you do, you’re going to start feeling like crap. The truth is there are accomplishments to be proud of when you’re a SAHM. The moment when your daughter can write a letter on her own that you’ve practicing for weeks. The time when your little one realizes there is more than one color in the rainbow. Some may laugh. While these moments may not fill your bank account, they do make your heart overflow with joy.

I really think knowing these five little things would have made the transition to staying home a lot easier. Trust me, there are a lot more. Each day I am still learning how to make this situation work. Just like anything else, there are easy days and there are hard days.

For all the SAHMs reading this, what is your biggest piece of advice?

Why I Like Waking Up at 5:30

Sleep. You don’t realize how much of it you really don’t need until you become a parent. The days of sleeping until ten in the morning have vanished along with the days you would wear tank tops to the club (without any jacket of course) in the middle of winter. Just as you would never think of wearing something sleeveless in ten degree weather, you also learn to function on less sleep. But, when you can get a little more, you take it, right? I guess so. That is, unless you’re me.

Many people think because I’m a SAHM, I roll out of bed just before the kids need to be awake to start my day. Truth be told, most days I wake up at 5:30…by choice. It’s kinda funny, because I used to have to get up at 3:30 when I had a pay-check giving type of job. I hated getting up early.But, now things are different. I look at my morning time as exactly that…mine. It is really the only decent chunk of time I have to myself all day until the kids are in bed. By that time, I just want to curl up with my DVR and go to bed.

I mainly wake up that early so I can hit the gym. I’m not doing it so I can look like some supermodel. I’m a realist. I’ve had two kids. I was never a size 2 before and I certainly won’t be now. I’ve got cellulite and some extra junk in the trunk, but it’s fine.  I enjoy going to the gym because of the way it makes me feel both physically and mentally. As I put my ear buds on and get going on the elliptical, I think about the day ahead and what I want to get done. I make a lot of mental notes, give myself some internal pep talks if something is bothering me, and most importantly, work out my frustrations. Sometimes that’s also when I also get some of my best writing ideas. It’s just an important time all around.

Once I get home and am showered, the kids are usually awake and I am ready to start my shift. Bring it on temper tantrums and whiny Caillou, I got this today.

But, because I am human, there are days I hit the snooze and choose my pillow over the treadmill. I can honestly tell you, those are the days I feel so crappy. Crappy because I didn’t do anything productive. Crappy because I didn’t have my alone time. Crappy because I have a shorter fuse with the kids. Crappy. Period.

So, call me crazy, I like waking up at 5:30. I dare you to try it for a week and see if you feel better because of it!

 

 

Am I Doing Enough?

As a mom, I often wonder, “Am I doing enough?”

Sure I carried both my children for nine months, nursed them until my nipples felt like they were going to fall off, woke up countless times a night only to put them back to sleep while I stayed up all night because I couldn’t finish my Adam Levine dream.

Sure, I cleaned all kinds of poop and other bodily fluids (still do that actually!).

Sure I deal with tantrums and countless sibling arguments over Barbies and other toys that make me wish I could just disappear at times.

Sure I quit my job to raise my kids. That saw the evaporation of regular conversation that doesn’t include figuring out if Sprout is showing a new Caillou or if it’s one we’ve seen too many times. It meant making so many other sacrifices too numerous to mention.

With all of that, why do I still question if I’m doing enough? Why do I wonder if I’m doing enough to make sure my kids are learning enough when they are home with me? Is my oldest writing her letters like other four year-olds? Can my youngest tell the difference between orange and yellow? Is she saying enough words? Am I taking them to do enough activities? Am I reading enough books?

Aahh!!! I could go on and on.

After thinking about it for a bit, I’ve come to a semi-conclusion. I’m sure some people may not like it, but I’m gonna throw it out there anyway.

Because I am a SAHM, and obviously spend a lot of time  at home,  I think I put more pressure on myself to make sure I am doing enough. Instead of getting things done in the house or going through some magazines (yeah right!), I feel as though I should be doing something with them or for them because I am home. This is my job, right?  Does anyone else feel this way?

I know when I was working I felt guilty that I wasn’t spending enough time with my daughter. But, I also knew I was working and contributing to the household income, which in turn was benefitting her. So it felt like it was enough.

There are so many days I just want to lay on the couch and get lost in my DVR shows while enjoying a cup of coffee while it is still hot. It’s not to say that my kids don’t know how to entertain themselves, because they do. There are times when I do “sneak” off to get something done or try to relax. I could probably do it more often, but I don’t. So sometimes I am my worst enemy. There, I fully admit it.

In the end, am I doing enough? Probably so.

Will I ever truly feel as though I am? Probably not.

 

Blogaversaries Really Get You Thinking

It’s just before seven in the morning on a rather cloudy morning and my children are still sleeping. Ahhh…

I dragged myself out of bed and went to the gym, knowing full well that one hour was probably the only time I will have to myself for the next 12-14 hours or so. I’m contemplating putting on some makeup today seeing that we have some errands and stuff to do and I won’t just be home with the kiddos. I’m also thinking about all the little projects I want to get done, but probably won’t today. It’s okay, there’s always tomorrow.

I’m also thinking about how I need some time to search for some ideas and writing opportunities. Most likely that will have to get done when everyone is sleeping again. Maybe I can throw on “Frozen” for the umpteenth time, and get some things done then. Decisions, decisions.

As I sit here and think about my day ahead, I can’t help but think about how different my life is today versus three years ago when I started this blog.

I was working out of the home. Today I am not. If you told me I would be a SAHM, I would have told you to have your head examined. Today, I realize it’s not so bad. In fact, it’s a good thing for both me and my kids, although I want to rip my hair out at times.

Three years ago, we were a family of three. Today we are a family of four. My girls are growing so much each and every day, too fast in my opinion. Today, I try to savor all the hugs, kisses, and “I love yous” because I know too soon they will be replaced with plenty of yelling and door slamming as my girls enter their pre-teen years and beyond.

When I started this blog, I had no idea what I was doing. Well, not much has changed there! But, I know writing this has lead me to other opportunities and has let me meet other great moms. For that, I am forever thankful.

Three years ago, I didn’t know what the future holds. Today, I still don’t. But, I’m more at peace with the idea that everything happens for a reason and at the right time. Sometimes you just have to let things go and breathe, which is much easier said than done.

Wow, that’s a lot of deep thinking for so early in the morning!

So, yes, all these thoughts were prompted by my third blogaversary this week. By the way, I am accepting gifts, lol!

I look forward to continue writing and see where this craziness takes me. I hope you are all up for the ride as well! Thanks so much to everyone who has supported me on this journey so far. Now, time for my coffee!

 

This Bites

“That’s mine.”

“No, mine.”

“I had it first”.

Scream. Cry. Ouch!!!!

Run for mommy.

Can you guess what just happened again in my house? Let me set the scene. My two and four year-old are fighting over some stupid toy. Big sister doesn’t let little sister have it. Sisters fight over said toy. Big sister still won’t give up. Little sister gets totally aggravated, goes nuts and decides to bite big sister in anger. Big sister is hurt and now wants mommy. Little sister knows this is bad and goes into time out corner on her own.

This is what goes on in my house more frequently than I would like to admit. Saying this makes me lose my mind is the understatement of the year. I lose it. I start screaming. It accomplishes nothing.

My younger daughter knows this is wrong, yet still continues to do it. The funny, not so funny, thing about it is that she only bites her sister. She doesn’t bite other kids (thank Jesus for that one) nor does she bite any adults. It is just her sister.

I never had a sister growing up, so I don’t know if this is normal. I’m hoping it is just some part of the terrible two phase we are constantly going through on a daily basis. Whatever it is, I honestly can’t take much more of it and neither can my older daughter. She’s had her share of battle scars.

When my older daughter was around the two-year-old mark I remember she bit people a few times, but thankfully her stint was short lived. This time around, I feel like we are in it for the longer haul. My blood pressure and vocal cords can’t take it! If she is going to be aggressive, I would much rather she hit her sister. Not that hitting is a great behavior either, but I think biting is just so barbaric, not to mention more painful.

While I can usually anticipate when the next bite is going to happen, sometimes it happens for no reason at all. I know all of this is part of having kids, yada yada yada. However you slice it, it bites. Period.

 

 

 

 

 

Why My Kids Can’t Watch the News

In my past life I used to write about shootings, murders and car accidents like they were nothing. I could have done it in my sleep. The words “gun”, “killed”, and “died”, would roll off my finger tips and lips as if I was singing a nursery rhyme. Even after my first child was born, I used to wait for the big story, a.k.a. a big accident, fire, or other tragedy, to lead off my newscast. Someone else’s heartache was the big story I was waiting for all day just so I could have the best show. I was wrapped up in such a little bubble of death and negativity that I never gave one thought if a child was going to hear or see one of the stories that really made my day.

That is, until recently. Let me start off by saying I don’t round up my girls to sit down and watch the news. But, when it is snowing for the second time in two days and there’s been no school, you better believe I want to know when all this crap is going to stop. So, with that said, I turned on the news to find out the forecast. It was, of course, the lead (because we all know “weather wins”). Shortly after I heard the depressing news of how much more snow we were going to get I went into the kitchen to start dinner, leaving the TV on the news channel. I didn’t even think that my four-year-old would still be in there watching and listening because usually she runs off to play.

“Mommy, they said someone got shot and killed.” I wanted to crawl in my oven and die. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to kick myself for not switching the channel. Instead, I told her yes, unfortunately these sad things happen and I quickly grabbed the remote.

As I was cooking dinner I was thinking about how sad it is that kids can’t watch the news. They can’t learn what’s going on because there’s just so much bad stuff. Although they used to be a regular part of my vocabulary, I don’t want words like “gun” and “killed” to be a part of theirs.

I’m not saying newscasts need to be kid friendly. I know how it works. I know they are not meant for children and parents should not let them watch. That is why I get most of my news these days through my phone. This way I can still know what’s going on in the world without exposing my children to it.  But, isn’t it sad it has to be that way?

I guess being on the other side of the fence makes you think about things in a different light.  Maybe someday younger kids can watch more than the weather without mommy having to run for the remote.

 

Why Nights Out Are So Important

As a stay-at-home mom you obviously spend a lot of time with your kids. A lot. So, when you get to spend a night out without them, it’s a big deal. A very big deal. Sometimes, it’s even better than getting a full eight hours of sleep. In my opinion, it’s actually more important.

I’m not a doctor of any kind, so my advice simply comes from what the crazy people in my head tell me. There’s my disclaimer. I came to this big revelation after a recent night out with a longtime friend. Both of us have two children around the same ages. We have frequent play dates and pretty much keep the same social calendar full of story times and arts and crafts. Sure we see a lot of one another with plenty of time spent talking over glue sticks and construction paper. We’re both so busy and committed to our children that we often forget to take a little time out to remember who we were before we were “so and so’s” mother. I’m sure many of you out there can relate. We were all someone equally as fabulous before we took our mom crowns. Sometimes we need a night out to remind us. While sleep refreshes you, it seems to be only temporary. You’re bound to get tired and cranky all over again. Just rinse and repeat. Whereas with a night out, you get a whole lot more bang for your buck.

During a night out with a gal pal, you can just relax and have a conversation without being interrupted one hundred times a minute. You can talk freely and not have to spell out all the bad words. You can say “f***” if you want to and use it as an adjective, verb, or noun and not have to worry about having a potty mouth. You can talk about your dreams and not feel guilty if they don’t include endless days at the park. You can talk trash about someone and not have to worry that big ears will tattle tale. You can let your guard down and it’s okay.

A night out doesn’t make you a bad mom, that is unless you’re doing bad things! Although we may feel guilty at times (myself included), I think it makes us better mothers. Why? Because we have time to ourselves and can be reminded that we are more than just mothers. We can also use the time to recharge our batteries so that when we see our kids again we are less tense and can be more like the carefree mothers we all wish we could be more often. We can enjoy our families more. Whether you stay at home or work, being a mother is a laundry basket full of responsibilities that lasts a lifetime. It is stressful and wonderful all at the same time. It makes you laugh and cry. It makes you scream like your hair is on fire and then makes you feel bad ten minutes later. It is messy and wonderful and full of drama we never expected. It is full of love, smiles, and more hugs and kisses than we could have ever imagined.

So, if you’re lucky enough to get a night away, take it!!! You and your family will be better for it.

 

 

 

How Do You Get Your Kids in Bed by 7?

Yep, its nine o’clock at night right now and both of my kids are still awake. I’m sure many of the so-called sleep experts and many other parents would put me in their books of shame. But, I’m not ashamed to admit that this is pretty typical in my house. My kids are not in bed by 7. Never have been and probably never will be. I’m also not ashamed to admit that I am jealous of the parents out there who can get their kids to close their eyes at 7 at night and not open them until 7 in the morning. Are some of you lying about your kids sleeping habits? I would love to put a nanny cam in your house to see if you are telling the truth!

I don’t want you to think I haven’t tried a more regimented bedtime routine. We do the whole story thing, tuck in, and night night, just like all the books and magazines tell you to do. Then we get untucked, read an encyclopedia and stay awake for hours. I just can’t seem to successfully force a bedtime on my kids. It’s not like my kids are up till midnight, but they are more in the nine to nine thirty range. Now, there’s a study that actually shows that the time parents choose for their kids may not jive with his or her internal body clock. This study is worth reading because it makes me feel like maybe my kids are not as crazy as I may have thought and maybe I’m not either. Maybe.

My kids do have a routine, but they just seem to fall asleep when they’re little body says enough is enough. Unfortunately, it’s not always when I’m ready to stare at the back of my eyelids for the next seven hours (that is seven, if I’m lucky….more like six). There have been plenty of nights when I try to get them in bed earlier, but it just doesn’t work. That is, unless I want temper tantrums and fights that make me angrier than when they took ALF off the air in the eighties.

With all that said, if you are one of those parents who HONESTLY get your kid to be early, enjoy it. Just know that I’m awake with jealously and already thinking of all the coffee I’m going to have to drink tomorrow to keep up with these energizer bunnies.

Night, night and sweet dreams…