POST CATEGORY : SAHM

Why I’m Not Sending My Kids to Summer Camp

Why I’m Not Sending My Kids to Summer Camp

It’s summer. The kids are home from school. They’re around 24/7. It can get a little much at times. So, why not send them to summer camp?

Although I hate to answer a question with a question…why send them to summer camp?

Lately, people have been staring at me like I have three heads because I’m choosing not to send my kids to any type of summer camp. Call me crazy, but since I am blessed enough to be a SAHM and freelance writer without a 9-5 job, I don’t really find it’s necessary. Why spend extra money for someone else to play with my kids when I can just do it myself?

Don’t get me wrong, I think camps are a great resource and a necessity when you have both parents who are working all day long. Camps give the kids a chance to play outside, go places, and meet new friends. I know some SAHMs who are sending their kids to some half-day camps and such just to get them out of the house and break up the summer a bit. Since that’s all fine and dandy for them to send their kids to camp, why is it odd for me not to send mine?

Call me crazy, but I actually don’t mind when my kids are home…even during the summer 24/7. I like being able to go outside and play, take them to the beach, and just let them be kids. Before you think everything is rainbows and unicorns at my house, there have already been plenty of times when I’ve barked at my kids because they’ve just plain old gotten on my nerves. There’s been nights when they’ve gone to bed early because mommy needs a break or mommy needs to get a lot of work done. It just goes along with the territory. I’m no Mom-angel.

summer

But, there’s also been plenty of times when we’ve hung out at the beach with friends, splashed at the pool, and stayed outside eating those ice pops that leave your mouth different colors. We’re enjoying our summer…together. I know these days are numbered. Soon enough the thought of them hanging out with their mom at the beach all day will be anything but entertaining. So I’m soaking it in now.

I think as parents sometimes we’re so afraid of hearing, “mommy, I’m bored”, that we feel we need to schedule our kids wall to wall activities. I know it may sound strange, but let them get bored. That’s when their imagination can come out and play a bit. Let them be kids without a daily planner.

splashing

I’m sure there will come a day when my kids will need to go to camp for one reason or another and that’s fine. Until then, please don’t look at me like an alien for not wanting to send my kids to camp. For now, it’s Camp Mom 24/7 and I’m okay with that.

 

Do You Really Like Staying Home with Your Kids?

There are few things that really, truly eat away at me. I usually just brush them off with an eye roll or an internal “shut up.” Then there are the occasional comments that fester inside of me and make me question how people can be so rude. Maybe they just want to make conversation. But sometimes no conversation is better, you know what I mean? Truthfully, I don’t think people realize how their comments come of…or maybe they do.

Case and point…lately on numerous occasions, I’ve been asked, with squinting eyes and squishy foreheads “Do you really like staying home with your kids?” It would be okay if just one person asked, but when it becomes the topic of several conversations within a short span of time, I just get annoyed. Period. Especially when the tone takes on a sympathetic one implying that I must be some miserable soul because I don’t have a typical job.

So, how do I answer these enquiring minds? The short answer is, “Yes, I do really like staying home with them.”

The long answer is…Yes.

There are days when I wish Doc McStuffins would stop fixing her toys and Dora would realize maps don’t talk.

There are days and moments that I want to rip my hair out.

But, the same can be said when I was a working mother. So, no difference there. Staying home works for me and my family now. Will it in the future? Will I go back to work? I can’t give you that answer because I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t have a psychic friends’ network like Dionne Warwick to help me figure that out.

Perhaps instead of a simple, “yes”, I should fire back with questions like “Do you really like going to work everyday? Do you really like not seeing your kids all day?”

How rude, I know. But isn’t it rude to ask SAHMs the same types of questions?

I just don’t get what is so fascinating about a woman wanting to stay home to take care of her own children. I’m not turning back the clock on women’s equality because I chose to stay home. In fact, I think it is rather empowering. As a SAHM you are the CEO of your house. You schedule and pretty much pull all the strings. Sure you answer to whining co-workers (AKA your kids), but in the end you’re the MIC (Mom in Charge).Not too shabby.

 

 

 

10 Reasons Why I Love Being a SAHM

It’s funny sometimes how certain twists and turns in life land you in a place you never thought you would be. I find this to be true as I navigate through this SAHM journey that I’m on. As I’ve said in previous posts, I never ever thought I would stay-at-home everyday, take my children to play dates, story times, plan educational activities throughout the day, etc. I thought I would work, someone would take care of my kids and I would just deal with them at night and on the weekends. Well, it’s mind-blowing how people so small could have such a powerful impact on my life.

After the birth of my first daughter, I worked. I was fortunate enough to have family members care for her. I did activities with her on the weekends and spent as much time as I could after work. Of course, I was still missing precious moments. It sucked.

During my maternity leave with my second daughter, I began to think about how wonderful it would be to be able to stay home with my kids. Truth be told, I felt like I was in a rut at work and something had to give. I was truly happy (though sleep-deprived) during my maternity leave and didn’t want it to end. Luckily, it didn’t. My husband and I figured things out so we could make it work. I am fortunate enough to say it has.

Sure, it has its ups and downs, just like every other job out there, but I can honestly say I am happy. Don’t get me wrong, I do my share of complaining and yelling. It’s sometimes not easy hanging out with people all day who think maps and monkeys can talk. It’s also hard to digest the fact that I don’t make my own money and don’t have a “real” job. In all reality, what I do everyday is a real job. It’s not easy to play cook, nurse, social worker, entertainer, chauffeur, and play arts & crafts guru all in one day.

As I hit the three year mark on this journey, I began to think about why I like doing what I’m doing. Here’s a short list:

1. Being home after school – Now that my daughter is in “big kid” school, it is so nice to pick her up and hear first hand about all she did and learned.

2. Playing & Teaching– It’s great to have the time to play Barbies, or do a puzzle, or play doctor’s office with my kids.  It’s also wonderful to carve out time to work on reading and writing. This is perhaps the best because this is when I feel like I am really making a difference.

3. Activities– Although we’re not into too many things yet, it’s nice to know I have the freedom to allow my kids to do certain activities (within reason).

4. Being able to pursue other passions– Someone used to tell me, “find your passion, and follow it”. Well, when you work full-time and have kids, that’s pretty impossible. But, when you don’t have to work a 9-5, there is extra time to pursue other interests. For that, I am grateful.

5. Avoiding the Saturday rush– Because I’m around during the week, I have the privilege of doing errands when stores and such are less crowded. Let me tell you, it is fantastic! I actually don’t go near a mall or store on a Saturday!

6. Appointments with ease– Just like avoiding the Saturday rush, it’s easy to make doctor’s appointments for the kids and for myself.

7. Summer– Sun & fun, need I say more?

8. Meeting up with other SAHMs– I’m lucky to have a couple of other friends who are also home with little ones. It’s nice to get together, let the kids play and have some adult time all at once.

9.Being home for the sickies & snow– Nothing is worse than leaving a child when he or she is sick. It is also no fun trying to figure out who will stay with that sick child if you can not. The same can be said for bad weather. There were no “snow days” where I used to work. I used to dread having to go out in the bad weather and figure out who could trudge over to watch the kids.

10. Being thrifty– I have never met a coupon I didn’t like. I love sales and discounts of any kind. Being a SAHM forces you to look for that extra deal and coupon. I know it sounds strange, but I get a little rush when I get a real good deal. I’m a nerd, I know.

So, there’s my little list. I know not everyone is cut out to be a SAHM, and I totally respect that. Trust me, I know where you’re coming from. For those of you who are SAHMs, what do you enjoy most? least?

 

Is Being a SAHM a Career Killer?

As a mother, we all worry about something…truthfully, a lot of things. Whether it is if our children are sleeping enough or whether they are eating enough vegetables, there is always something to worry about. Being a parent, we can also sometimes lose a part of ourselves. So much time and energy goes into raising kids that there is little or none leftover.

Since deciding to become a SAHM, there is something else I sometimes (ok, frequently) worry about. Am I sabotaging my career to be a full-time caregiver to our kids? Hmmm….I wish I knew the answer to this one.

In my past life, I was a TV news producer and a pretty darn good one at that, if I must say so myself. At some point, I do plan on returning to the working world. Doing what? I really couldn’t tell you. At that point, will prospective employers look at me and wonder what the heck I did for the past “x” amount of years or will they respect the decision? Hmmm…I wonder.  I fear that many may think I just quit and took the “easy way out”. Anyone who knows anything about being a SAHM knows that is certainly not the case. Nevertheless, I still try to do as much freelance work as possible so I can keep my head in the game and avoid any huge holes in my resume.

I am extremely grateful for the opportunity I have to spend as much time as I do with my girls. I know there are a lot of women out there who would kill for it. I also know a lot of women who wouldn’t and that’s okay. Different strokes for different folks! But I can tell you that I love when my girls learn something that I exclusively taught them. I love the fact that I can take them to certain activities that I wouldn’t be able to do if I was working. I love that we can sleep in during the summer if we choose. The list goes on and on, but I think you get my point. There are many benefits to being a SAHM.

There are also a lot of skills us mommas use daily that can be extremely beneficial in any working environment. From incredible multi-tasker to problem solver to activity planner…we do it all. I think we are better qualified for certain jobs than some people in them right now. The problem is not all employers see it that way. Many still see us as simple homemakers who spend all day changing diapers, doing laundry, and cooking.

Do you think being a SAHM is a career killer? Were you a SAHM who went back to work? I’m curious to find out!

 

5 Things I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a SAHM

It’s the life of champagne wishes and caviar dreams. You’re a stay at home mom. You don’t have to listen to a boss. You can pretty much do what you want when you want. You have all the time in the world to devote to yourself and to your home.  You must be floating on freshly fluffed pillows every morning when you wake up and realize this is really your life.

Reality check.

You can’t remember the last time you had champagne. You have two little bosses who constantly nag you for stuff with a deadline of NOW. You can’t do whatever you want when you want because if you did you would have a weekly massage every Thursday afternoon after your manicure. Every day you notice some new cob web or area that really needs to be cleaned. You’ll get to it…one of these days. You can’t remember the last time you slept an entire night on your pillow all by yourself because one of your kids always ends up climbing into your bed. This is really your life.

Since I have been in the world of SAHM-dom for more than two years, I’ve come to realize the many misconceptions people still have about the lives we lead. I could honestly write a book. I, too, had many preconceived notions that I now laugh at. Silly, silly, me. With that said, I’ve come up with five things I wish I knew before becoming a SAHM.

1. You won’t be cooking meals that would make Rachel Ray jealous

“I can’t wait until I’m home so I can try new recipes.” Yep, I remember myself saying those very words. Well, chicken cutlets are still the “house special” and when I see a recipe with more than six ingredients, I still turn the page. If you were never a lover of the culinary arts, you won’t become one just because you have more time at home. The sooner you realize it, the happier you will be.

2. You’re not a circus; don’t try to entertain your kids like you are one

You can’t be “on” for your kids 24/7. This is something I still grapple with everyday. I feel guilty if I’m not doing something with them. That’s the reason I stayed home, right? It is alright to let them entertain themselves. In fact, it’s probably better for them. I’m learning this. You should too. Sure you can do stuff with them, but you don’t have to keep pulling out tricks from your hat.

3. Schedule “time off” for yourself every week

Just because you stay home doesn’t mean you can’t have time for yourself. You may not have the twenty minute car ride to work by yourself or a designated lunch break every day, but you can still have time off. The best way to do this when you’re a SAHM is to schedule it. It may sound silly, but I’ve found it’s the only thing that works. Find a time every week when you know you’ll most likely be able to find a sitter. Stick to that time as “your time”. Use it to do something for yourself. It may be hard, but anything worth having doesn’t come easy, right?

4. Have other interests besides your kids

Okay, so once you can schedule that “time off” you may want to use it to explore interests that are not for the five and under crowd. What did you like to do before you were “so and so’s mom”? Do it now. Maybe you want to try something new…a new workout, a new hobby, etc. The point here is while you’re always going to be “so and so’s mom” you’re also always going to be “you”.  Find your passion and explore it. You don’t have to stop following your dreams just because you decided to be a SAHM.

5. Accept your accomplishments as a SAHM and don’t try to compare

As a SAHM it is sometimes so hard to figure out what your accomplishments are on a daily basis. Some days the only thing to brag about is the fact that you got your kid to the potty before she peed her pants. It’s okay. It’s still an accomplishment. Don’t try to compare it to the promotion your friend got at work. If you do, you’re going to start feeling like crap. The truth is there are accomplishments to be proud of when you’re a SAHM. The moment when your daughter can write a letter on her own that you’ve practicing for weeks. The time when your little one realizes there is more than one color in the rainbow. Some may laugh. While these moments may not fill your bank account, they do make your heart overflow with joy.

I really think knowing these five little things would have made the transition to staying home a lot easier. Trust me, there are a lot more. Each day I am still learning how to make this situation work. Just like anything else, there are easy days and there are hard days.

For all the SAHMs reading this, what is your biggest piece of advice?

Blogaversaries Really Get You Thinking

It’s just before seven in the morning on a rather cloudy morning and my children are still sleeping. Ahhh…

I dragged myself out of bed and went to the gym, knowing full well that one hour was probably the only time I will have to myself for the next 12-14 hours or so. I’m contemplating putting on some makeup today seeing that we have some errands and stuff to do and I won’t just be home with the kiddos. I’m also thinking about all the little projects I want to get done, but probably won’t today. It’s okay, there’s always tomorrow.

I’m also thinking about how I need some time to search for some ideas and writing opportunities. Most likely that will have to get done when everyone is sleeping again. Maybe I can throw on “Frozen” for the umpteenth time, and get some things done then. Decisions, decisions.

As I sit here and think about my day ahead, I can’t help but think about how different my life is today versus three years ago when I started this blog.

I was working out of the home. Today I am not. If you told me I would be a SAHM, I would have told you to have your head examined. Today, I realize it’s not so bad. In fact, it’s a good thing for both me and my kids, although I want to rip my hair out at times.

Three years ago, we were a family of three. Today we are a family of four. My girls are growing so much each and every day, too fast in my opinion. Today, I try to savor all the hugs, kisses, and “I love yous” because I know too soon they will be replaced with plenty of yelling and door slamming as my girls enter their pre-teen years and beyond.

When I started this blog, I had no idea what I was doing. Well, not much has changed there! But, I know writing this has lead me to other opportunities and has let me meet other great moms. For that, I am forever thankful.

Three years ago, I didn’t know what the future holds. Today, I still don’t. But, I’m more at peace with the idea that everything happens for a reason and at the right time. Sometimes you just have to let things go and breathe, which is much easier said than done.

Wow, that’s a lot of deep thinking for so early in the morning!

So, yes, all these thoughts were prompted by my third blogaversary this week. By the way, I am accepting gifts, lol!

I look forward to continue writing and see where this craziness takes me. I hope you are all up for the ride as well! Thanks so much to everyone who has supported me on this journey so far. Now, time for my coffee!

 

SAHM I am and it’s okay…really!

Lately it seems as though I have been bombarded with people asking me if I miss going to work everyday. I know they mean my old job in the formal sense of getting up and having a “normal” routine. But, when they say it like that it sounds like I don’t “work” now. It sounds like I’m retired or something, sitting on a white sand beach having drinks with little pink umbrellas while I even out my tan. I don’t know if it’s something in the water or just a coincidence. Whatever the case, it’s getting a little annoying. Okay, a lot annoying. So…

Yes, I am a stay at home mom.

Yes, I gave up a pretty good job two years ago to stay home and take care of my kids.

Yes, I am a college graduate and even graduated Magna Cum Laude.

Yes, I have other interests besides my kids and Play Doh.

Yes, I have other aspirations in life, and even if I didn’t, so what?

Yes, I sometimes miss the daily interaction with adults and people over three feet tall who don’t want to talk about Dora’s latest quest or Doc McStuffin’s diagnosis.

Yes, I am telling you the truth when I tell you I actually enjoy staying home (most of the time) and raising my children.

These are the reasons why:

I get to do so many more activities with my kids than I would if I was working out of the home.

I have more time to read to them and practice things like writing and numbers since I am home more. So, when they accomplish something like writing a little “f” that we’ve been practicing forever, I’m pretty f’n proud and happy.

When they are sick, I can be there without having to worry about who’s going to stay home to take care of them.

I get to enjoy them. Period.

Don’t get me wrong, I know working moms enjoy their kids too. I also know the challenges of being a working mom too. I did it for two years. So, I don’t want anyone to think for one minute that I think they have it easy. Now, that I’ve said that, let me say this too.

If you think I don’t “work” anymore, let me tell you I have a 24 hour job where I’m always on call. I get no personal, sick, or vacation time and holidays mean I only work harder. Does it suck? Some days, yes. But, I’m sure your 9-5 job sucks some days too.

But, underneath that pile of dirty dishes and bag of poopy diapers, there is a feeling of being blessed to have the opportunity to be a SAHM. There is also a feeling of pride because I know so many other moms who tell me they could never stay home with their kids 24/7. Perhaps it does take a special kind of person. I just think it takes a special kind of person to be a mother whether you stay at home or work. Period.

It’s My Blogaversary!

We all know the cliché, “time flies when you’re having fun”, or in this case, raising kids. This week marks my two year blogaversary. Instead of sending me flowers, I’ll take some Dunkin’ K-cups, but I digress. I really can’t get over the fact that I’ve been rambling on about my life in mommy land for two years now. When I started, I only had one little momma running around. Now, there are two. When I started, I was working out of the house. Now, I am home, working on raising my family and getting some writing done. When I started, I was infatuated with my offspring. Now, I still am.

So, why did I start blogging? In case you’re wondering, and even if you’re not, I just wanted a place to vent about motherhood. I never knew where to do it, uncensored, besides in my head. Then some of my former co-workers started these blog things, and I thought, hell, I can do that too. So, I did, and here we are two years later.

So, why am I still doing this two years later? It must be for all the truckloads of cash that arrive at my doorstep every week, right? Excuse me while I laugh a bit, no excuse me…a lot!! Any blogger can tell you, the bucks ain’t big. But, the experience can open more doors and opportunities. That is the truth in my case. My little ramblings secured me a regular blogging gig as Debate Mom on Mom365.com. I’ve also taken advantage of some product reviews and other freelance writing opportunities. I can’t forget the other bloggers I’ve also met online. So, all in all, not too shabby.

Perhaps the main reason I still do this, besides maintaining my own sanity, is because other moms tell me they actually enjoy reading my ramblings, and can actually relate. Some mothers have told me my little stories have actually made them feel better, like they weren’t the only ones with certain mommy issues. That is big in my book because it also helps me out. I also feel like I’m not in this alone.

It looks like I’ll still be at this for awhile because each day my kids do more things that make me laugh, cry, scream, or a little combo of all three. Besides my kids, there are also still plenty of things out there to write about as long as people in the world constantly irk me, like the Facebook COO, but I digress. So, I’ll be here writing. Hopefully, you’ll still be here reading. Oh, and tell a friend too! Thanks 🙂

p.s. I went back to read my very first post, check it out if you haven’t!

Stay at Home Momiversary

It’s been a year. I really can’t believe it. One whole year that I’ve been at this stay-at-home mom thing. It’s my stay-at-home momiversary.You may think it sounds cliché but it really seems like just yesterday that I was freaking out about having a screaming newborn and demanding toddler on my hands. Fast forward one year and now I have two demanding toddlers on my hands with a little less freaking out…well, at least sometimes!

When I signed up for this stay-at-home mom thing part of me thought it would be easier than it really is some days. I mean, really, stay at home and just take care of your own kids, piece of cake, right? Not so much. This gig is no joke. You are on call 24/7 with no sick, personal, or vacation days. I really thought I would have more free time than I do. It seems like I have less somehow. I thought my house would be forever clean because I would be here more often to clean it. I thought I would transform into some kind of Martha Stewart with decorations to die for and dinners to drool over. Guess what? My house is still a mess, if not messier. The decorations haven’t changed and the dinners are the same crap we’ve always eaten. So, perhaps I failed in those areas. But, I think I succeeded in some others that are more important like being able to feel proud that my three year-old knows her letters because I am the one who taught her before her teachers ever did. And the fact that she is becoming a puzzle whiz and loves to look at books.

But, I would be lying if I didn’t admit there are days that I do miss the daily routine of getting up and going to work and interacting with people over the age of three. There are days I miss driving in my car alone without answering 20,000 questions. But, there are also many more days that I enjoy play dates, story hour at the library, strolls on the beach, and many other activities that I know I wouldn’t be able to do as freely as I do now, and for that I am grateful.

As a SAHM, you have bosses who can be so demanding and relentless that you sometimes want to cry. And guess what? There’s no cash money paycheck or 401K! What kind of job is this? It’s the kind of job that pays in “I love you’s” and hugs and kisses and things like “Mom, I want to be just like you.” You might not be able to take that to the bank or save up to buy a condo in Boca when you’re 70, but the payoff is  far greater.

Title: Stay-at-Home Mom? Yes!

   What do you do? People ask each other that question all the time. It seems like a simple question that should come with a simple answer. But, sometimes it’s really not so clear cut. I was recently at the doctor’s office and had to fill out one of those patient update forms that ask you every question under the sun except for your blood type. After the name, address, and phone number areas, came the “title” and “place of employment” sections. For years, that was a no brainer. But, for once in my life, I actually stopped and stared down at the piece of paper like it was some kind of impossible S.A.T. question. I toyed with writing “unemployed”. I quickly decided that would be stupid.  I thought for a minute and then remembered a conversation I had while I was at a baby shower about a month ago. Someone had just found out that I no longer work where I did and asked where I worked now. To my surprise, I blurted out “at home.” It was one of those moments where your mouth takes over for your brain and you don’t realize what just happened. It didn’t stop there.

   I went on to say (and proudly) “I’m a stay-at-home mom”. Before my mouth could continue its hostile takeover of my brain, another woman chimed in and told me she was really glad I said that. She went on to talk about how so many people don’t think staying home is a real job. Sure there is no tangible paycheck or 401K plan to rely on, but it is still work. I have to admit I was one of those people who thought SAHM’s (as I learned we can be called) had it easy. After about a year into the gig, I can tell you that’s anything but the truth. If you think we sit around all day and watch TV, you are sadly mistaken. It’s a lot harder than I ever thought it would be. We are the entertainers, the maids, the cooks, the nannies, the drivers, the referees, the receptionists, and if we’re lucky, there’s time to just “be”, if you know what I mean. With all of those “real” titles under your mommy belt, you can sometimes question if you’ve made the right decision, although some may never fess up to the fact. But, then you hear your child tell you how much she loves you or you see your baby’s first step, and you know you got it right this time.

  So, as I was sitting in the doctor’s office having this little flashback, I decided to write “Stay-at-Home Mom” on the title line. I even thought about writing the same phone number in both the “home” and “work” sections, but decided that really didn’t matter. What does matter is that more people should realize that staying at home with your kids 24/7 is truly a job and a real title to be proud of!