Is Being a SAHM a Career Killer?

As a mother, we all worry about something…truthfully, a lot of things. Whether it is if our children are sleeping enough or whether they are eating enough vegetables, there is always something to worry about. Being a parent, we can also sometimes lose a part of ourselves. So much time and energy goes into raising kids that there is little or none leftover.

Since deciding to become a SAHM, there is something else I sometimes (ok, frequently) worry about. Am I sabotaging my career to be a full-time caregiver to our kids? Hmmm….I wish I knew the answer to this one.

In my past life, I was a TV news producer and a pretty darn good one at that, if I must say so myself. At some point, I do plan on returning to the working world. Doing what? I really couldn’t tell you. At that point, will prospective employers look at me and wonder what the heck I did for the past “x” amount of years or will they respect the decision? Hmmm…I wonder.  I fear that many may think I just quit and took the “easy way out”. Anyone who knows anything about being a SAHM knows that is certainly not the case. Nevertheless, I still try to do as much freelance work as possible so I can keep my head in the game and avoid any huge holes in my resume.

I am extremely grateful for the opportunity I have to spend as much time as I do with my girls. I know there are a lot of women out there who would kill for it. I also know a lot of women who wouldn’t and that’s okay. Different strokes for different folks! But I can tell you that I love when my girls learn something that I exclusively taught them. I love the fact that I can take them to certain activities that I wouldn’t be able to do if I was working. I love that we can sleep in during the summer if we choose. The list goes on and on, but I think you get my point. There are many benefits to being a SAHM.

There are also a lot of skills us mommas use daily that can be extremely beneficial in any working environment. From incredible multi-tasker to problem solver to activity planner…we do it all. I think we are better qualified for certain jobs than some people in them right now. The problem is not all employers see it that way. Many still see us as simple homemakers who spend all day changing diapers, doing laundry, and cooking.

Do you think being a SAHM is a career killer? Were you a SAHM who went back to work? I’m curious to find out!


Can Women Have It "All"?

It’s the age-old question that always ruffles feathers and this time is no different. Can women have it all? That of course, depends on who you ask. If you choose to ask Drew Barrymore, she’s gonna tell you no. She recently talked about how much it sucks to have to give up some aspects of your career so you don’t miss out on things in your kids’ lives.(Her words, not mine!) As you can imagine, her words have captured a lot of attention, mine included.

After reading what she had to say, I think she’s brave to admit what so many of us are sometimes afraid to. Sometimes women can’t have it “all” if “all” means having a killer career and making every activity and being there for every play date. It’s just impossible. That’s not to say that women can’t be successful and still be good mothers. Being a stay-at-home mother does not, by any means, make you a better mother.

Now that we’ve cleared that up, I think having it “all” means different things to different people. That’s okay. I think it’s supposed to. I think that going by a universal definition is what has gotten so many of us feeling inadequate in the first place. Having it “all” has made a lot of us feel like crap if we can’t work forty hours a week, make dinner every night, have a clean house, and still have energy to play dress up with our kids. That’s why I respect Drew Barrymore’s comments that women can’t have it all.

I know a lot of moms, myself included, who have made professional sacrifices in order to be more present in their children’s lives. I know it’s not a choice that everyone has the luxury of making these days. There are lots of sacrifices that come along with the choice. Trust me, there are plenty of days when I wonder if I made the right decision. There are plenty of days that I play the “what if” game. But, in the end, I truly believe everything happens for a reason and when it is supposed. You just have to trust in yourself and try not to look back (easier said than done).

So, are Drew Barrymore’s comments setting women back a few decades? I’m sure there are plenty of you out there who still think so, and that’s fine. I still choose to believe that it’s okay to admit that it may be impossible to have it “all”.