Dear Terrible Two’s,

Dear Terrible Two’s,

So, you’re back. I’m about excited over your return as I am about watching a “Caillou” marathon. I was warned about you the first time around and to be honest, you didn’t really live up to your name. But, this time, I think you’re coming after me with a vengeance. Not cool two’s, not cool at all.

I’ve been keeping my eye on you over the past few months as you tried to sneak earlier than you were supposed to. You really don’t have any respect for rules, do you? I can tell. You just do what you want, when you want, and always have a good scream to go along with it. You are annoying two’s.

You also don’t ever seem to have your “listening ears” on. Do you know what the word “no” means? It is the opposite of yes. It is derived from the letters “N” and “O” and is usually followed by the words, “didn’t you hear me the first time?” I say it a lot, but you don’t listen. Although, you do like to say plenty, just for sugar and giggles and to get me going. I’m not laughing two’s. Not at all.

I’m also not getting a kick out of you lying on the floor, kicking and screaming because you can’t have ice cream for breakfast. I know I am the worst mother in the world. But, guess what? I don’t care two’s. You can kick and scream all you want but I always win on this one. You would think you would have learned your lesson seeing that I have never let you have your way on this one. Who’s the smarter one now two’s?

But, I will admit, you have gotten the best of me on more than one occasion. Thanks to you, I have become a pro at steering a shopping cart full of groceries with one hand, while holding your nasty self with my other hand. I know, sitting in a cart being wheeled around and not having to do a thing is barbaric. I can’t even imagine what I would do. Oh wait, yes I do…I would chill the fudge out and enjoy the ride. But not you two’s, not you.

Last, but certainly not least, I LOVE how you sit so well in your car seat and never fight me when it is time to buckle up. It’s not like we have appointments or places to go. I have all day long to wait until you feel like sitting down and buckling. So annoying two’s, so annoying.

So, you may have won a few rounds thus far, but I’m onto your game two’s and I’m ready for the ride. I’ve got my wine, my Starbucks and my Adam Levine on “The Voice” to get me through and keep my sanity. You can kick and scream all you want, but this momma isn’t buying what you’re selling.

The Mothership

p.s. I’m counting down until the “Terrific Three’s” come along…lol

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