POST CATEGORY : Mommy Issues

40 Years of Lessons Learned

When you reach a certain point in your life and you do some simple math, you realize that you’ve already lived a good portion of your life. While some people may think that’s a morbid and depressing way to look at things, I actually find it inspiring and think of it as one of those teachable moments in life. It’s one of those moments that makes you to look at things from a different perspective.

Now that I’ve reached a milestone birthday and have done some living, I’ve come to a few conclusions…

If I wake up each morning and am healthy, I’m better off than a lot of people out there. I know of so many people, younger and older than myself, who can’t say that when they wake up. They deal with chronic and life-threatening conditions each day. To not have to deal with that is a blessing within itself.

I’d rather have my children screaming and jumping because there are so many sick kids in the world who can’t enjoy being a kid. When you’re a kid you don’t think you can ever get seriously sick, but when you’re an adult you know of so many kids who have health problems they should never have to deal with. As much as my head may throb because my kids are so noisy, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

It’s not the quantity of friends, but the quality. As a teenager, and even years after, I always thought having a lot of friends was so important. But why? Did it make me feel better about myself? Maybe. But, as I get older, I realize that having a few close friends I can count on using one hand is far better than a number that I need all my fingers and toes to count.

It’s okay to say no to people. I’ve always been a people pleaser, saying yes to just about everything and everyone. The truth is, as I get older, I don’t have the time or mindset to keep saying yes. Sometimes the best weekends are those where I can just stay home with my family and shut out the entire world. It’s that peace that’s priceless and worth saying no to invitations.

Don’t be afraid to speak up. Too many times I’ve just nodded and smiled, accepting whatever was told to me even when I questioned it on the inside. Fast forward a decade or so and I’m not afraid to speak up. This goes for just about anything! If I don’t like it, I’ll tell you. If I have a far-fetched idea, I’m not afraid to mention it because you just never know what can happen. The same goes for asking for things. If you don’t ask, you’ll never know.

The time is now, don’t wait. When you have kids you begin to realize just how fast time goes. This realization brings you to a point where you don’t want to wait to do things. It may sound morbid, but you just never know what tomorrow will bring. Why wait?

Know your worth & don’t be afraid of it. When I ventured out into the world of freelance writing, it was all new to me. I wasn’t sure what to charge, what to look for, etc. Over time, I’ve gotten to know what I want to write about, what my worth is and to not be afraid to ask for what I think I deserve. Sometimes that’s gone well, other times it hasn’t. But, in the end, it’s all been alright and a learning experience, if nothing else.

Let it go and “Let Jesus take the wheel”. Just like the song goes, sometimes you have to let things go and let someone higher than yourself figure things out. No matter how hard you plan or try to get things to work in your favor, sometimes you just can’t make it work. When you have the mentality to just let things go, they tend to play out in a way that works, even if it’s not how you envisioned it.

Enjoy life. I admit, I am a worrier. I worry about things that already happened, things that are happening, things that may happen, things that will never happen, etc. I’ve finally realized that all of that worrying is useless. While it’s not always easy, I’m trying to live more in the present and enjoy each day because tomorrow is not guaranteed, as much as we may think it is.

There you have it, my 40 years of lessons learned…and counting. What are some life lessons you’ve learned over the years? I’d love to know!

 

 

App-sessed! How did our mothers ever survive?

App-sessed! How did our mothers ever survive?

Ok, I love a good organizational tool just as much as the next OCD mom, but I feel like every component of my children’s lives is connected to an app. I’ve had to become “app-sessed” if I want to know the latest information about their activities so I show up at practice when I’m supposed to and deliver orange slices to the soccer team on the right weekend. There are apps for each classroom, an app for the soccer team, and a group chat for scouts. I’m sure I’m missing one, but just know there are multiple groups with lots of people in them.

Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy the fact that these apps allow me to connect with the people I need to, but it does get me wondering…how did our mothers ever survive? Forget about there not being apps 30 years ago, there weren’t even cell phones! Yet, I still got to where I needed to be at the right time and the soccer team had their orange slices on the right weekend. It was pure magic!

I remember my mom being part of a  “telephone tree” when information for school or an activity had to get out. The idea of a phone blast was not even a thought! My mom would actually pick up the phone to call someone to relay a message. I know…the horror.

Nine times out of ten they even picked up the phone since there was no caller ID. They couldn’t just let it go to voicemail to avoid having a conversation (not that anyone would ever do that these days). She actually gave up five minutes of her day to have a live conversation with another human being. Imagine!

There were no group texts to send out and get information. She didn’t have to worry about being part of a group text where everyone needed to text back the entire group to say that they not only got the message but to also say thank you five minutes later! I now turn off notifications because I don’t need twelve people saying “thank-you” at midnight. Yes, that’s happened and I’m sure many of you can relate.

Sure, I could choose to not download the apps and not join the groups. Then what? I wouldn’t know what’s going on in my children’s classrooms, I would overlap with someone else’s “orange slice weekend” and my kids would miss practice or worse, we would show up on the wrong day.

Call me crazy, but I would love to go back to the days of “telephone trees”. Granted, I may not answer the phone all the time, but one solid, informational phone call versus 20 text message sure sounds good about now. It was a much simpler time back then and things still got done and we all survived without our apps. Our “app-less” mothers still got it done, and probably better than we are today.

Is anyone else feeling “app-sessed” these days or is it just me?

 

 

You’re the best mom…sometimes

As we approach Mother’s Day, the one day of the year when our kids are obligated to be nice to us, clean, make us a card, and maybe even get us a present, I’m reminded of something my youngest daughter said to me this week.

“You’re the best mom.”

Awe…how sweet!

Wait for it…”sometimes.”

#awkwardsilence

I looked at her, and thought, what? wait…really? Sometimes? Talk about a backhanded compliment!

Then I thought about it and realized she was right.

I am the best mom…sometimes.

As much as I would like to think I’m on point everyday, there are days when I look in the mirror and know I’m far from it.

There are days when I cringe after hearing “mommy” for what seems like the 100th time. Can’t I change my name?

There are times when the sound of little feet running into my room before 7 a.m. on the weekend makes me wish I had a trap door under my bed that I could escape into.

There are days when the thought of making another school lunch drives me insane.

There are days when I’d rather poke my eyes with a spork then go to soccer practice, another birthday party, or the park. What happened to the days of going to yoga and watching “Lifetime” movies? Oh yeah, I had kids.

There are days when I just want to scream “leave me alone!” But I know I can’t.

There are days when I swear too much and hope my kids won’t repeat what they’ve heard at the most inopportune times.

These are the days when I don’t feel like the best mom…not even close! These are the days when I feel like a hot mess…days that I question how I’m going to make it through to the next.

Then there are the days when my kids snuggle up next to me and give me the best hugs ever.

There are the days when I multi-task like it’s no one’s business and nail it.

There are the days when my girls get upset and I come up with some witty and comforting words from God knows where and they tell me they feel better afterwards.

There are the days when strangers come up to me and tell me how well-behaved my kids are.

There are the days when my kids accomplish something so wonderful that I can’t believe how proud I am of them.

These are the days when I do feel like the best mom…like I must be doing something right to have such great little humans.

I think being the best mom is realizing that you don’t always have the answers and you’re going to make mistakes. There are countless times that my kids ask me a question and I will tell them I don’t know…that includes third grade math homework!

Letting your kids see you’re not perfect is good for their souls because they hopefully will realize that no one is perfect and that it’s okay to make mistakes.

So when my daughter tells me I’m the best mom…sometimes, she’s just keeping it real. And I’m okay with that.

 

Why 2018 Should be the Year of You

As moms we tend to put everyone else’s needs in front of our own, and that includes Barbie who always gets her hair knotted in her elastic and needs help buttoning her pants.

Why do we do this? Is it just a case of our mothering nature? Maybe it’s a part of that unspoken oath we all took on the delivery table as we gave birth. Whatever the case, it can leave a momma downright exhausted and feeling empty.

That’s why it’s time to let 2018 be the year of you.

Isn’t it time to give yourself some of that energy you so quickly give to others? Sure, it’s easier said than done. I always say I’m going to do it and then something happens. Who’s fault is that? Is it my kids? Is it Barbie’s fault? No, it’s my own. I’m not saying we, myself included, need to start being narcissists and let our kids fend for themselves 24/7, but a little more self-care never hurt. After all don’t all the experts say you need to be happy and take care of yourself before you can make anyone else happy? I know I’ve heard that countless times before.

That’s where choice comes into play. I’m a firm believer in choice. We all make choices and those choices affect how we live our lives and how we feel about ourselves. If you choose to forego that workout because you’re afraid your kids will miss you too much and no one will be able to do Barbie’s hair like you do, that’s on you. We all know how guilty our kids can make us feel. Plus, Barbie can wait. She’s not going anywhere. But, think about how bad you’re going to feel if you miss that workout you so desperately want. You may become so resentful that you end up taking out your frustrations on your kids instead of zumbaing it out. Get to the gym!

What about skipping out on that date night with your significant other just because the thought of getting a babysitter is exhausting? Trust me, they’ll survive. That time away is a good thing. It gives everyone a much needed time out and time to refresh. I always feel like I’m a better parent once I’ve had some “time off”. Sometimes you need a break, even if it’s just a quick dinner out for a couple of hours. Go out!

When you become a parent your hobbies seem to get lost in the Legos if you know what I mean. I used to be an avid reader, and not of kid’s picture books…of books with actual chapters and paragraphs longer than two sentences. It used to relax me and give me a much needed escape. Why did I stop? I could blame it on my kids, but it really was my choice. I chose to do other things, like folding clothes, putting dishes away, etc. with whatever free time I had. If 2018 is going to be the year of me, it means more reading too. Get reading!

Another “mom thing” seems to be the incessant need to say “yes” to every invitation you and your kids receive. You wouldn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, would you? What about your feelings? What about what you want? I’ve learned the hard way that it’s okay to say no. Quite frankly, no one really cares if you make it to their event as much as you think they do. Ouch! I know that’s hard to hear, but it’s the truth. Sometimes free time is more important than taking your child to a birthday party of a classmate she hardly knows just because she wants to be nice. Get used to saying no!

I think by doing these little things or whatever else you’ve been neglecting can truly help you make 2018 the year of you. What do you say?

 

 

 

Did You Get Your “Mommy 10” Today?

Did You Get Your “Mommy 10” Today?

As a mom, any quiet time you get to yourself is better than gold. Between work, the kids, activities, and everything else life throws at you, you look forward to your quiet time even more than a new season of “Fuller House” on Netflix. At least I do.

That’s why I need my “Mommy 10”.

What’s the “Mommy 10”? Well, I’m glad you asked. The “Mommy 10” is that precious time (usually about 10 minutes) in the morning after you’ve gotten up and ready for the day and before your kids get up.

It’s the time before the daily arguments about what to wear although outfits are picked out the night before.

It’s the time before needing to explain why Cheetos and Doritos are not good snack options, even if sanitizer is used afterwards.

It’s the time before explaining for the 100th time why sanitizer won’t get that cheesy stuff off fingers.

It’s the time before the first argument about whose Barbie is going to use the car and which one will have to walk.

It’s the time all moms need.

It’s ten minutes of quiet in the morning to use any way you’d like. Whether it’s to sit down and enjoy a few sips of coffee before it gets cold or scroll through your Facebook feed to see what everyone else was doing while you were sleeping, or even watching TV; it’s your time.

I need this time at the beginning of my day to just set the tone for what’s ahead. I look at my planner to see what assignments I have to complete. I look at the calendar to see what’s going on for the day and mentally prepare myself, especially when it’s back-to-back soccer practices at dinner time when I don’t want to use the crockpot.

Getting my “Mommy 10” means not hitting the snooze button and walking like a ninja through my house so I don’t wake the kids. Annoying…yes.

Well worth it…absolutely.

Then there are the mornings I hit the lottery.

Those are the mornings when I get the “Mommy 60”. Those are the days when I get really crazy and hit the gym even before the garbage men are out. It’s nutty, but truth be told those are the mornings I feel phenomenal, even if I’m ready to crash after dinner!

The days I don’t get my “Mommy 10 ” or “Mommy 60” and wake up when my kids do or even slightly after are about as fun as watching a Caillou marathon. I honestly feel the difference of not having my “Mommy 10”.

I know a lot of women who get their “Mommy 10” at night once everyone goes to sleep. While this time has its perks too, there’s just something about getting time to yourself first thing in the morning, even if you’re not a morning person.

Laugh all you want, but once you try it, you won’t knock it!

So did you get your “Mommy 10” today?

 

 

The Pros and Cons of Working from Home

“What do you do?”

“I’m a freelance writer.”

“Where?”

“Oh, I work from home.”

Crickets. Then a snide smirk.

Yep, that’s the what usually happens when people ask me what I “do”.

When people hear you work from home it can go two ways. One is that they think you really do nothing all day but surf social media sites. Two is that they think working from home is a dream. Don’t get me wrong, for the most part it is great. Especially coming from a unique schedule where I used to get up at 4 a.m. for my 9-5 gig. People love the idea of working from home for many reasons. The biggies are that you can mainly make your own schedule, take vacation whenever you want, and can stay home when your kids are sick. Everyone wants to be on team work from home. But, like anything, it has its drawbacks. Drawbacks like not getting a steady paycheck because some weeks there ain’t much out there and you spend a lot of time cleaning your closets. Drawbacks like trying to balance the kids at “Camp Mom” while trying to be somewhat productive.

I started thinking about all of these pros and cons over the past few days when my kids had two snow days in a row. This after having a three-day weekend the previous week due to yet another snow day. The kids thought it was the best thing since “Frozen” came out. Me? I was hiding like Elsa when my kids kept asking me if I wanted to build a snowman. So what does a day look like when you work from home and unexpected days off arise?

6:55 Kids wake up even though there’s no school.

7:10 First round of “mommy let’s play a game” happens

7:11 Mommy makes a cup of coffee

7:30 Switch games

8:00 Breakfast

8:30 Mommy tries to get work done while kids play “nicely”

8:40 First round of “I hate yous exchanged” and “Mommeee” come from playroom

8:41 Mommy says go back and play and work it out until she’s done

8:45 “Mommy are you done working yet?”

8:50 Kids go back to playing and mommy goes back to work

9:00 Dance party karaoke begins

9:10 Mommy shuts down dance party karaoke because kids not get a permit

9:15-10:00 Kids play nicely and Mommy actually gets work done

10:01 Mommy plays for a bit

10:30-11:30 Mommy gets more work done! Yeah!

11:30-12:30 Prep, make and eat lunch

12:30-2:00 Playing & reading time

2:00-3:00 Mommy back to work, kids are once again trying not to kill one another

3:00-3:30 Cleaning the breakfast and lunch dishes to get ready for the dinner load later

3:30-4:30 Google Justin Bieber facts for daughter who is writing a book while trying to fix Baby Alive’s diaper and explain to daughter number two why we can’t feed her doll milk

4:30-5:45 Prep, Cook & eat dinner

5:45-6:15 Clean up

6:15-6:30 Sit down & chill out

6:30-7:00 Prep for day ahead, make lunches, pack snack etc.

7:00-7:30 Showers

8:00 Down to start the bedtime process

8:45 Mommy pours one…okay two glasses of wine…and tries to get more work done

9:30 Time to shut it down, watch TV and pray there’s not another snow day tomorrow

At some point it’s time for bed.

Trust me, I know it’s hard for parents who work outside the home too when a snow day pops up. I’ve been there before. Working from home brings a different set of challenges. In a nutshell you get an unorthodox work day interrupted by various rounds of games and dance parties, but you do get to stay home.

Kids’ scheduled days off when you work from home are also like trying to solve a Rubix cube. You work around the kids and hopefully send them to Grandma’s house for a few hours so you can get stuff done without Justin Bieber playing in the background.

Would I trade working from home for working a regular 9-5? Probably not now. It’s nice being your own boss even when your little bosses are around unexpectedly.

 

 

 

I Don’t Want to be “That” Couple

The other night I was out to dinner with my kids at a “semi-adult” restaurant. By “semi-adult” I’m talking about no crayons or paper kids’ menus. There were families eating as well as just couples. Some of the couples were middle-aged, the others a bit older. The common denominator was that they didn’t have any kids with them. It was just the two of them. Just a couple enjoying a nice dinner…alone.

Besides having no kids, they had something else in common…no conversation. It wasn’t because they were distracted by something else. They were just not talking…at all. Perhaps they said a few words here and there about the veal or the salad. But, that was it. You could tell there was no vital conversation going on.

Before you start calling me judgmental, this was not the first time I’ve seen couples like that out at a restaurant. I know you’ve seen them too. I know we all don’t know the circumstances surrounding their relationships. Perhaps they have engaging conversations at home and go out to enjoy silence. Who knows? You may be saying, well maybe they just had a long day or maybe they were just really hungry. I honestly hope one of those scenarios is to blame. If it’s not, then I truly feel sorry for them. I can also say I don’t want to be “that” couple.

It seems “that couple” is often the pair that has grown old together, raised their children and are now left with their partner. Just the two of them. Everyday. 24/7. There are no more “how was your day at school?” conversations or “should we let Cindy go to that concert?” or “who’s taking Billy to practice?” questions to answer. There are no little ones interrupting your conversation. You’re no longer talking in code with your partner so the kids can’t figure out what you’re saying when in reality they already have.

That chapter is over. In fact, the whole book has been read…a thousand and one times.

Now it’s time to move on to another chapter…start another book in your relationship. The book that just involves two main characters. Hopefully it’s not a book filled with dinners in silence and no conversation because the kids are gone. Who wants to be “that” couple?

Not me. I feel so sad when I see couples just sitting an entire meal without talking to one another. Is that what there is to look forward to once the kids are gone?

We all know kids take up a lot of time and most of the conversation at home. That’s why it’s important to just have couple time every now and again. Some people laugh at me when I say my husband and I have “date night”. It may sound silly to have a date with someone you are married to and live with. But, sometimes you need to make an effort and make a “date” to make that happen. Sometimes that means finding a babysitter or shipping the kids off to grandma’s house for the night so you can just be a couple. You don’t have to spend the meal cutting up food or playing rock, paper, scissors. You can enjoy your meal while it’s hot, have a couple of glasses of wine, and actually talk without being interrupted. You can have time together now so that you don’t become “that” couple later.

Carving out that alone time isn’t easy. With crazy work hours, multiple jobs, and toting the kids around to every activity from A-Z, life is hectic. Life is crazy.

What’s even crazier is spending a lifetime together only to end up as “that” couple. After “x” amount of years married you might not have a lot to say to your spouse, but I really hope I’m never sitting in silence during a dinner. I hope that I’m never riding in the car and find that I don’t have one thing to talk about that doesn’t involve the kids. If that’s the case, I know we’re becoming “that” couple. That’s an ending I certainly don’t want to read.

 

 

 

 

Dear Kindergarten, You’re Taking My Baby Away

Dear Kindergarten, You’re Taking My Baby Away

Hello there Kindergarten. So we meet again. I remember you quite well from a couple of years ago when you lured my older daughter into your lair of learning. Now, you’re back with all your fancy sight words and cutesy books. But, this time, you’re going for the jugular.

You’re about to take my baby girl.

Do you know the worst part? She’s actually excited about meeting you. Before you go around and brag to all your little ABC friends, I have some words for you.

I know you’re used to sucking up to all of your new recruits with the glories of snack time and gym class, but I’m not too happy about all the things that are going to change around here. This momma is one carrot stick away from some major water works. You see, baby girl and I have been together like peas and carrots from day one. Yeah, yeah I know, you’re little brother pre-k has had her for a few hours a day over the past two years. But, this is not the same. You’re taking her for almost the entire day. You’re going to get to have lunch with her. You’re going to get to see the little light bulb in her head go on when something she’s been trying so hard at finally clicks. You’re going to hear her little giggle all day long. I’ll just get your leftovers when she comes home and tells me all about how great her day was. Thanks a lot.

You know you’re taking on a big responsibility. Sure you have experience and some great references, but you need to really take this one under your wing. I know all the other mommas tell you this too. But, you should listen to me. I have friends…a lot of them…friends that carry bats. I think I’ve painted you a clear enough picture.

You see, although my baby girl is excited, I know she’s a little scared too. So am I. It’s a whole new world for her. It’s a world filled with new people, new ideas, new routines, new lessons…heck, even new crayons. Since I can’t be there by her side it’s your job to make sure she gets through it all okay. Got that? You need to guide her and let her know she is going to be just fine when she feels like she won’t be. You need to encourage her when she gets frustrated. You need to cheer her on for a job well done. You need to make sure she’s kind and doesn’t say any bad words. You need to make sure she knows her teddy will be waiting for her in the car afterschool just like she asked. Perhaps most importantly, you need to make sure she pees! And of course, she needs to wash her hands.

Kindergarten, are you up for the job?

You’re not just adding another player to your roster. You’re adding one of my all-stars. I know this is all part of the circle of life, blah blah blah, but I kind of liked the circle we’ve created over the years. I’m not ready to start another one just yet. But, I know the decision is not mine. You’re a pushy one Kindergarten with no wiggle room for giving me more time.

I wish I could make time stand still, but I know Kindergarten is just the beginning of letting go. It’s a baby step in what will be a lifetime of changes, challenges, accomplishments and even let downs at times.

So, Kindergarten, be gentle with my baby girl. Although she may act like a tough cookie, on the inside she’s a big softie.

Sincerely,

One Misty-Eyed Mom

The Question Every SAHM Hates to Hear

When you’re a stay-at-home mom people pretty much know you spend a lot of time with your kids. If you stay home when they’re babies there’s a lot of diaper changes, feedings and sleepless nights. If you stay home when they’re a little older there’s more play time and child rearing going on.

As they get older they start making little friends and having playdates. As they enter pre-school and other programs, you may step back a bit and let other people do some of the work. But, what happens when all of your children are in school full-time? If you’re like me you start hearing the question every stay-at-home mom hates to hear.

“What are you going to do now?”

In just a few months, my youngest will be off to full-time Kindergarten. As a result both of my kids will be in school full time. It must mean I can now run off to a tropical island. Maybe it means that she and her sister will get to school by themselves, make their own food, and find rides to afterschool activities. It must mean my mothering role will become obsolete because everyone keeps asking me what I’m going to do. It’s not like they’re going off to college. It’s elementary school. The mothering responsibilities will still be there come September. They’re just going to shift a bit. I’ll shift along with them. That doesn’t necessarily mean I have a power point presentation about my future all cued up and ready to go. Does anybody?

Being a SAHM doesn’t mean your kids are your only interest. It only means that you made a choice that worked for you and your family. You made a tough decision and you probably made a lot of sacrifices. It would be like assuming all working mothers are only interested in their jobs. Working moms also made a choice that worked best for them and their families. Many also made a tough decision and made sacrifices of their own. Yet, I don’t hear working moms being asked what they’re going to do with themselves once all their kids are in school full-time.

Many SAHMs had successful careers they decided to put on hold before making the leap. Maybe it’s time to go back? Others have developed new interests…interests don’t involve diapers and rattles. Maybe it’s time to give those some attention? Sometimes it feels as though people can’t imagine what you could want to do with yourself when your role as a SAHM isn’t the main event anymore.

So, when people ask what I’m going to do now (or when September rolls around) I answer back with a simple “I don’t know. I’ll figure it out.”

Why? Because I don’t and I will. Quite frankly I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Do you?

There’s something exciting, yet scary, when you know your life is about to take a huge right turn. Sometimes it’s better when that shift is unexpected. Knowing change is on the horizon can be intimidating. It doesn’t help when everyone wants to know how you’re going to deal with it all. But sometimes not having a plan is the best plan of all.

 

 

What Does it Mean to Have it All?

What Does it Mean to Have it All?

What does it mean for a woman to “have it all”? I guess it all depends on who you ask and what you read. I can tell you from what I’ve read and what society tells me, I do not, in fact, “have it all”. So, what’s a momma to do? Cry over it? Scramble to make up for all of the supposed deficiencies in her life? Maybe for some, but not for this gal.

Over the years, “having it all” has come to imply a woman has a successful career and family life and has everything in balance.

But, I think “having it all” has different meanings for all of us. There is no right or wrong definition. We all come from different walks in life that lead us to the common path of motherhood. For some, that common path does not include motherhood. You know what? That’s okay. You can still have it all. If you are happy and fulfilled in your life, you have it all.

For those of us whose lives do take us on the journey of motherhood, “having it all” can become a more complex game.

If you are a working mother who is fortunate enough to find reliable and affordable childcare and have happy children who adore you, you have it all.

If you are a stay-at-home mother to five kids or just one and find fulfillment in raising your children, you have it all.

If you are a mother who works part-time and makes it to every concert and soccer game, you have it all.

If you are a single mother who works two or three jobs and still has the energy to enjoy her blessings, you have it all.

The point I’m trying to make is that we can all “have it all” if we find the right combination that makes us happy and works for us rather than the scenario that works for society.

I’ve spent and wasted a lot of time trying to “have it all” by society’s standards. Let me tell you, it’s downright exhausting and depressing. You always feel as though one cup is half full no matter how many times you go back and refill it.

Guess what? I stopped. Instead, I started using my time and energy to focus on what works for my family, not for a friend’s or anyone else’s. Sure that meant, and still means, getting questions and strange looks. Part of having it all is being content and confident with what you have, not what others think you should have. Let me tell you, that is easier said than done. It’s still a work in progress. But, it gets easier with time as you become more comfortable with your decisions and who you are.

What makes me believe I “have it all”?

I have two incredible kids who always tell me they love me to the moon and back. I’m fortunate enough to be the first face my kids see when they wake up and the last one before they go to bed. I have a husband who supports me in whatever I do. I have a fantastic network of family and friends who are always there when I need them.  I’m able to pursue my passions and explore creative endeavors even when they don’t always work out.  I’m a happy person…except for when I get woken up.

So, to society who constantly tells me I don’t have it all…I beg to differ. I may not always have it together at all times, but I do have it all.