To Bunny or Not to Bunny? That is the Question.

The Easter Bunny.

It’s the tooth fairy’s second cousin and Santa’s third cousin, twice removed on his mother’s side.

Although they play the same game, there’s just something about the Easter Bunny that doesn’t sell well. Santa brings the magic of Christmas with reindeer and elves. The tooth fairy has a mystical quality about her, flying through the night, collecting random teeth and leaving money. Did anyone ever ask her where she got her money to hand out or what she does with those teeth? Hmmm…inquiring moms want to know.

Then there’s the Easter Bunny. He apparently has time to hop around to all the houses the night before Easter, eat a bunch of carrots, and leave baskets filled with toys made in China for kids everywhere. Oh, and don’t forget all the candy that will have your kids in a sugar coma by breakfast. How does he carry all of those baskets by himself without any elves or a sled? Although he must log some major steps on his fit bit, it’s hard even for a kid to believe.

When my kids were born and throughout their toddler time, we put on our bunny ears like any other good parents and did the bunny thing. We went to see the freaky person dressed in a bunny costume at the mall, put the carrots and water out the night before, and carried out the basket tradition Easter morning. I also did a little hunt, hiding small things around the house like my mom did for me Easter morning.

Now that my kids are 5 & 7, I’m wondering how much longer I can carry on this bunny charade. We did go to see the Easter bunny at the mall this year, only for my kids to tell me, “You know mom, that’s someone dressed in a costume.” Of course I know that silly rabbits, but Easter is still for kids…so hop to it and take a picture with the bunny. That wasn’t so hard of a sell, but as I was shopping for basket fillers this year, I was coming up with bunny block after bunny block. A lot of the things I used to put in their baskets felt babyish this year. The things I  really wanted to buy would raise too much suspicion and might blow the bunny’s cover. The Easter Bunny can’t give a gift card and some candy and call it a day. I know my kids will ask how the Easter Bunny hitched a ride to Barnes & Noble to get them a gift card. I don’t think they’d buy it if I told them there was a gift card kiosk at the CVS in bunny land. All of this got me thinking, do I do the bunny thing this year or pull the ears off of this charade?

I came to the conclusion that I didn’t want to rip off the bunny ears for them. I want them to continue to slowly figure it out, one whisker at a time. So, I put my ears back on, grabbed a carrot, and found two pre-made baskets that were do-able for their age groups. I just need to take off the WalMart tag. If I don’t, my kids will ask me how the bunny got to WalMart. I could tell them Santa took him, but that wouldn’t solve anything.

So, it’s full-on bunny this year. Next year, who knows? We’ll just take it one hop at a time.

5 Things to Say When You Hear “Mommy That Easter Bunny Isn’t Real”

As a parent we take on a lot of alter egos. Santa Claus. The Tooth Fairy. The Easter Bunny. It’s our job to keep the façade alive for as long as we can. But, as we know, all good things must come to an end. Sooner or later our roles as those alter egos are gone faster than we can say “of course they’re real”.

In my house, the tooth fairy hasn’t made an appearance, but we are eagerly awaiting her arrival. So we’re good there. Santa Claus is still alive and well although my older daughter is starting to use logic when it comes to that jolly old soul. The Easter Bunny is another story. I think his days are numbered.

After this year’s annual photo shoot with the dear old bunny, my 6-year-old abruptly turned to me and said, “Mommy that Easter Bunny isn’t real.”

Put a dagger in my heart! Are you crazy woman? If you’re going to debunk one of childhood’s greatest myths can you not do it in front of your 4-year-old sister who still believes this God forsaken bunny hops around to all the houses dropping baskets of Shopkins to everyone, including her?

So, what’s a momma to do? Here are 5 things to say when you hear those dreaded words, “Mommy that Easter Bunny isn’t real.”

  1. Deny it, but play it cool. Children are like dogs. They smell fear. They will sense that you are nervous about their latest discovery. Instead of wiping the sweat off your forehead and rocking back in forth in the corner, lie…it’s for their own good. I told my daughter, “What? Are you crazy? Of course the Easter Bunny is real. He’s just like Santa Claus and Santa Claus is real.” It seemed to work for me…at least for now.
  2. Play the helper card. Santa has helpers so why can’t the Easter Bunny? Think of all these mall and Easter hunt bunnies that pop up as the real Easter Bunny’s helpers. They’re kinda like elves…right? Wink, wink. The mall bunnies help out the real bunny. The Easter Bunny outsources. Deal with it.
  3. Confront the elephant or in this case bunny in the room. When my daughter made this revelation I asked her why she thought this blasphemy was true. I got a simple answer…”Because I could see a face through the top of his head.” Good answer. My answer: “Really? I didn’t see anything. You must be seeing things.” Silence.
  4. Defer to the other parent. When all else fails throw the other parent under the bus. If your child is acting like he or she is on “CSI” and won’t let up with the questioning, hand them over to your partner. That’s what I did. “The bunny is real, right Dad?” See what he comes up with, hopefully it’s better than the hand you’re holding.
  5. Ask the burning question. If the Easter Bunny didn’t handle all the baskets then who would do all that work on Easter? If your child answers “you would mommy” then you need to tell him or her “ain’t nobody got time for that.” If your child answers with an “I don’t know” then perhaps you have won this round of bunny madness.

I know I will probably cry myself to sleep when my kids realize I’ve been lying to them all these years. They’ll understand it was for their own good. If they don’t at least they will have appreciated all the loot they acquired over the years. Sigh.


What’s in Mommy’s Easter Basket?

So, Easter is just a few days away and I’m sure a lot of you out there are busy putting the finishing touches on your children’s Easter baskets, if you do the bunny thing. My girls are old enough now to get “it” and look forward to a basket on Easter morning. Gone are the days of fearing the freaky little rodent at the mall. This year, they practically wanted to invite him over for dinner…but I digress.

When it comes to kids’ Easter baskets, there are plenty of staples. Chocolate bunnies, eggs, bubbles, jump ropes, stickers, chalk…they all are great basket fillers for the little ones.

But, what if mommies got baskets too? We don’t…or at least I don’t…and it’s totally fine…really it is. But, I can’t help thinking what I would ask the Easter bunny for if I, too, got a beautifully wrapped basket Easter morning. Hmmm…

Well, since you asked, I’ll tell you.

One (or Two) Bottle of Pinot Grigio- Yep, that’s my favorite wine; I don’t drink red. It would be great if the bunny would bring some, but he would probably get carded.

Flavored K-cups- French Vanilla, Hazelnut, etc. I like flavored coffee, but for some reason, I never buy the flavored cups. Maybe the Easter bunny could hop to it and grab me a box.

Spa Gift Card- It doesn’t matter what holiday it is, a spa gift card is always appreciated. It always fits, never goes bad, and is, by far, one of the best gifts. I always opt for the massage or the nails…I’m not a big fan of facials. There’s just something that’s not relaxing about someone squeezing your face until you’re red and ruddy. But, that’s just me.

Golden Ticket for 1 Good Night’s Sleep– It seems as though no matter what happens, there’s always the pitter patter of little feet around 3 a.m., followed by one, if not two, children climbing over me and into my bed. I just don’t have the energy to kick them out! It would be great to just sleep all night without getting a knee in the ribs or an elbow in the forehead. I guess that’s what sleepovers at grandma’s are for!

New Sneakers– I hate shopping for new sneakers. I never know what color I want, what brand, what style, etc. I usually end up liking the shoes designed for running, but never know if I should buy them because I don’t run. Ever. It would be great if the magical bunny could figure it all out and pop a pair in my basket. Just sayin.

So, that’s it. That’s what would be in my basket.

No chalk.

No jump ropes.

No candy. Please no candy!

So, what would be in your Easter basket if the bunny came your way?






Nothing Funny About the Easter Bunny

As a mom there are “those” pictures that are a must for your photo album. You know what I’m talking about. You have the shot of your kid blowing out his candles every year. You have those family vacation pics with the perfect scenic background because every three year old wants to have his picture taken with the sun setting at just the right time. Then there are the holiday shots. You gotta have the Santa pics and if you have the jolly old guy, you need to have the fluffy bug-eyed one. Oh yeah, it’s the Easter Bunny.

I admit, I love to have the perfect pictures of my kids. Of course all the pictures my kids are in are perfect. I know as their mother I’m supposed to believe that, but that’s not the truth. There are some pictures where one looks like a criminal while the other is sticking her neck out like a giraffe. This year’s Easter Bunny photo was definitely not picture perfect and really cracked my eggs.

Why you may ask? Well, because my one and half year old would not go near the fluffy guy. My three and a half year old was ready to invite him over for dinner, while the little one had no use for him…not even for a stinkin’ picture. She clung onto my jacket for dear life as her sister sat there and talked to this big headed creature that just sat there. Baby girl would not have any part of it. As much as I wanted a picture with my two girls, I wasn’t going to be “that” mom who forced her kid to sit there in panic just for a snapshot. So, instead, I have a picture with one smiley toddler and an empty leg of the bunny dude where my other child should have been. The funny thing is that while she didn’t want to take a picture with him, she did say goodbye to him and she did blow him a kiss. I just don’t get it!

So, since that one didn’t work out, I thought I would try again with a different bunny. Well, different bunny, still not so funny. Once again she was ready to throw a freak out while her sister didn’t want to leave. Now, I have two lovely pictures of my older daughter with the Easter bunny and none with my little one. I considered photo shopping her in, but decided that would be borderline creepy. I will just have to settle and accept the fact that bunnies aren’t for everyone, especially if they have abnormally large heads and hang out in the mall 24/7.