POST CATEGORY : Parenting

My Kids, The Church Guy, & "The Comment"

Have you ever had a moment (or moments in my case) that you wish you were a little quicker on your feet? You know, to be able to have the perfect comeback without even thinking about it? Yeah, well I recently had one of those and I’ve been kicking myself for it all week. Here goes…

I take my girls to church almost every week. Sometimes they are good. Sometimes they are not. Sometimes they sing their own songs during the hymns and yes, my oldest even takes bows in the pews after the Alleluia. I stuff my diaper bag with books, goldfish, fruit snacks, sippy cups, and anything else that I can to keep them entertained and quiet for forty-five minutes. Although I think I’ve packed everything, I sometimes wish a bunny would pop out for those times when they just won’t keep quiet. Yes, I’ve even whipped out my phone and put a video on silent just to keep my two-year-old’s attention. Go ahead and judge, but don’t tell me you’ve never done the same. The three of us are quite the show when we are in church!

There have been plenty of times when they just don’t keep quiet no matter what. There have been plenty of times when I’ve left because I feel like they are just being too noisy. But, recently they were super quiet, so why do I feel so annoyed? Oh yeah, because of the guy who said, “Hey, your kids were quiet today” after holding the door for me because I had one child sleeping on my shoulder and the other holding on to my finger tips. Instead of asking “what do you mean?” All I said was, “yeah”. I walked away thinking to myself, are you implying my kids are devils every other time? Are you saying I can’t control my kids? What are you trying to say to me man who comes in late almost every week with no kids as an excuse? One kids was sleeping dude, so what do you expect!

Ugh. Maybe I’m letting it get to me too much. Okay, obviously I am because I’m blogging about it. But all I can think about is how rude! Instead of saying, “hey it’s great you bring the kids so young lady” or “I didn’t even know your kids were in church”. I don’t know. I would have been able to digest anything but what he said. Who knows, maybe he did mean it nicely and it just came out super awkward. I don’t know. I guess I never will.

What I do know is that I can’t wait until this weekend. If we do make mass, I think I am going to sit right behind where I know he sits every week and let my kids loose. Maybe I’ll let them eat a bowl full of Halloween candy and give them some goldfish and see where they swim and then let kids take their bows!

Parental Pet Peeves

Twirling hair, nail biting, nose picking…these are all things that kids do that can really push a mother’s buttons. Out of those three, twirling hair is enemy number one on my list. My older daughter does it and it drives me insane in the membrane. It’s like there is a magnet pulling her little finger to her head. No matter how many times I tell her to stop, she keeps on doing it. I can’t stand it. I’ve told her she’s going to go bald if she continues. She doesn’t care. I’ve threatened to cut off all her hair. She doesn’t care because she knows I would never do it. I’m trying to come to grips with the fact that this is something she is just going to have to out grow. Hopefully, before she really does go bald!

While there are things that kids do that drive me nuts, they are kids, so I can give them a little bit of a free pass. Now, there are some things that other parents do that really get under my skin. There is no free pass here. Here’s the biggie…are you ready? Wait, please put down your phone first so I can really have your attention. Yep, that’s it. Parents who are too busy on their phones to notice their children are flagging them down like they are trying to hail a cab in Midtown Manhattan.

I see this every week at my daughter’s soccer games. Parents are so technologically invested in their phones that they don’t even notice what their kid is doing on the field. Drives. Me. Nuts. Just last week, I saw a guy with his head down for half an hour. When he picked his head up to finally notice his kid, the little guy looked was looking around like he was going to pick daisies. He could care less about playing. The Dad yelled at him to pay attention. I wanted to yell back, “You moron, he probably doesn’t care because he sees you don’t care.” Duh! It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out.

When I was going growing up (oh God I sound like my mother!) we never had to compete with technology for our parents’ attention. I think this is sad side effect of just how stupid our smart phones have made us. Does anyone out there agree?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m no parental angel. I’ve caught myself with phone and Facebook in hand plenty of times before. I know how addictive and stupid all those apps can become. But, that’s when I log off and log on to what’s in front of me. Status Update: Being 100% mommy now!  I think if we can unplug more often we would really appreciate our kids before they become old enough to unfriend us on Facebook and tweet about us under #uncoolparents. What do you think?

Dear Terrible Two’s,

Dear Terrible Two’s,

So, you’re back. I’m about excited over your return as I am about watching a “Caillou” marathon. I was warned about you the first time around and to be honest, you didn’t really live up to your name. But, this time, I think you’re coming after me with a vengeance. Not cool two’s, not cool at all.

I’ve been keeping my eye on you over the past few months as you tried to sneak earlier than you were supposed to. You really don’t have any respect for rules, do you? I can tell. You just do what you want, when you want, and always have a good scream to go along with it. You are annoying two’s.

You also don’t ever seem to have your “listening ears” on. Do you know what the word “no” means? It is the opposite of yes. It is derived from the letters “N” and “O” and is usually followed by the words, “didn’t you hear me the first time?” I say it a lot, but you don’t listen. Although, you do like to say plenty, just for sugar and giggles and to get me going. I’m not laughing two’s. Not at all.

I’m also not getting a kick out of you lying on the floor, kicking and screaming because you can’t have ice cream for breakfast. I know I am the worst mother in the world. But, guess what? I don’t care two’s. You can kick and scream all you want but I always win on this one. You would think you would have learned your lesson seeing that I have never let you have your way on this one. Who’s the smarter one now two’s?

But, I will admit, you have gotten the best of me on more than one occasion. Thanks to you, I have become a pro at steering a shopping cart full of groceries with one hand, while holding your nasty self with my other hand. I know, sitting in a cart being wheeled around and not having to do a thing is barbaric. I can’t even imagine what I would do. Oh wait, yes I do…I would chill the fudge out and enjoy the ride. But not you two’s, not you.

Last, but certainly not least, I LOVE how you sit so well in your car seat and never fight me when it is time to buckle up. It’s not like we have appointments or places to go. I have all day long to wait until you feel like sitting down and buckling. So annoying two’s, so annoying.

So, you may have won a few rounds thus far, but I’m onto your game two’s and I’m ready for the ride. I’ve got my wine, my Starbucks and my Adam Levine on “The Voice” to get me through and keep my sanity. You can kick and scream all you want, but this momma isn’t buying what you’re selling.

Sincerely,
The Mothership

p.s. I’m counting down until the “Terrific Three’s” come along…lol

I Just Wanna Be a Grown Up

Child: “Mom, I just wanna be a grown up.”

Me: “No, you don’t. You really don’t.”

So, that was the beginning of a conversation I recently had with my four year-old daughter. Why is it that kids always want to grow up so fast? I can remember wanting to be “big” when I was little too. It must just be one of those things. After my daughter proclaimed her desire for wanting to be an adult, she quickly changed her mind…thanks to me.

It’s probably because I scared the Elmo out of her when I went on to ask her if she wanted to make her own food, clean her own clothes, clean the house, etc. She looked at me as if I were I visitor from the planet “crazy”. She quickly said no and then told me she didn’t want to be a grown up anymore. I told her that was a good idea and to stay a kid as long as she could. That statement is going to come back and bite me when she’s 27 and still living at home.

Anyway, I think she got my point. There are days when I wish I wasn’t a grown up. I wish my most important decision of the day was to either play with blocks or Barbies or whether to have chicken nuggets or grilled cheese for lunch. I wish people would still fix my food and provide for my every need without asking because it was their job.

Looking back now, I wish I could go back to the days when I didn’t know the meaning of the words mortgage, co-pays, deductibles or escrow. I wish I could still be as innocent as to think ALF could actually crash into my house and live with me because that be super cool. But instead, I’m an adult who worries about everything under the sun (bad genetic trait!) and sometimes wishes I could still be that kid with Punky Brewster sneakers.

So, I will continue to tell my kids to just be kids and enjoy their little pint sized lives where finger paints are a reward for good behavior.

I will continue to try to keep them as innocent as possible for as long as possible because as I get older I am truly realizing time does fly. I know its cliché, but we all know it’s true and it’s okay to admit it.

I will continue to tell them “I love you to the moon and back” and to give me my morning hugs. I gave them life. The least they can do is repay me in hugs.

And when they continue to tell me they just wanna be a grown up, I will continue to tell them they really don’t. Why? Because I’m the grown up and that’s my job.

This Post Brought to You by the Letter "e"

It’s funny how we take things for granted. Putting one foot in front of the other, feeding ourselves without dropping everything on the floor, reading, writing…these are all things that we know how to do now, but can’t remember ever learning. We just do them. Well, when you’re a kid, these things are like learning ten languages at once. I never really thought about it until I started teaching my daughter how to write her alphabet.

Sure, she’s learning these things at school, but I’m a firm believer that these lessons need to be reinforced at home. So, over the summer my now four year-old and I took on the mission of learning to write her name. Let me tell you, it has been a lot harder than I thought. I mean, how hard can it be to look at a letter and then imitate it over and over again? Well, it’s hard. Really hard.

I have to say I am lucky because my daughter actually wants to learn and thinks its fun. Oh yeah, she is my kid! So, almost everyday over the summer we practiced writing her name over and over again. I can honestly tell you she improved each and every time. We kept looking back at her old writing and we could both definitely see the difference.

By the time school started earlier this month, we had her name done…all except that pesky “e”. Big “E” was easy, but his little brother proved to be a pain in the alphabet. No matter how hard we tried or how much we practiced there was just something about it that stumped my daughter more than the hardest “Where’s Waldo” picture you could find. But that all changed a few nights ago when she picked up an empty toilet paper roll. You see, one night after bath I changed the toilet paper roll and she took it to play with so she could be a pirate. After a few minutes of looking for treasure, she took it into her playroom. I was in the kitchen when all of a sudden I heard, “Mommy, you have to come here and see this.” Inside I was thinking, oh no, what happened now? Is there more crayon on the wall? Did Barbie lose an arm? Thankfully it was none of those. Surprisingly though it was the letter “e” written pretty nicely in purple crayon on the empty toilet paper roll.

“I did it, I did it!” My daughter yelled loudly, beaming with pride. She knew the pesky “e” was that summer fly we could never get rid of. But that night, she swatted it. I was so proud! I felt like our hours of practice really did pay off. I don’t know what happened, but something must have clicked at the moment allowing her to write that “e”. She was so excited. She brought it to school the next day to show her teachers. I believe now it’s on a bulletin board in class! At least, that’s what she told me, although I haven’t seen it yet!

With all of that said, duplicating that “e” has been difficult. We don’t get it all the time. But, we try. That’s all I can ask for. I’m so glad my daughter is learning that hard work (and toilet paper rolls) do pay off. Now, on to that empty paper towel roll…

Trapper Keepers & A New School Year

Ever since I was a kid I’ve always loved the first day school. I loved the smell of new notebooks and pencils. I loved picking out new shoes for my school uniform and I really, really loved picking out a new Trapper Keeper. Yeah, I know I’m a weirdo. But, it’s the honest truth.

Besides the new Trapper Keeper and color coded folders, I think I’ve always liked a new school year because it signifies a beginning. Everyone gets a fresh start. There is the promise of something new. There is the anticipation and, of course, the fear of what lies ahead. There is so much to learn, so much to be discovered.

Although my school days are a part of history, I can still enjoy the start of a new school year vicariously through my children. I knew I had them for a reason! Even though my daughter is only in Pre-K and not yet fully invested in the whole school thing, I’m still excited.What can I say? I guess I’m still a bit of a nerd at heart.

I can’t wait to see all the projects she’s going to bring home. I can’t wait to hear about all the things she is going to learn.  I can’t wait to pack her little snacks. I could go on for days about all the things that I’m excited about, but you would probably fall asleep.

I always think of the beginning of the school year as a great time to start new things and new routines, no matter what age you are. It’s a great time to kick start a workout regime or maybe just work towards some type of personal goal. I know I have a lot of things in mind myself once I turn that calendar to September, which by the way is something else I love…switching the calendar to start a new month, but I digress. Anyway, I think you get the drift. This self-proclaimed nerd can’t wait for the start of the school year! Maybe I’ll even go out and buy myself a Trapper Keeper just for nostalgia 🙂

Sleep in Your Own %$!@# Bed

Before I became a parent, I swore on my Dunkin’ iced coffee that I would never allow my children to sleep in my bed. Ever. Well, maybe when they were sick. But, that was it. No other time would they ever be allowed into my sacred place. Fast forward a few years and a couple of kids later and you’ll see a regular visitor in my bed nearly every night.

I don’t know what it is, but my four-year-old loves my bed more than a Caillou marathon. If you knew my child, you would know that is saying a lot. The funny thing is, she never used to be that way. But, it seems as though she booked part of her summer vacation in our bed…with a one way ticket. She falls asleep in her own bed, but then there’s some mystery as to what happens in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, I hear the pitter patter of little feet down the hallway followed by someone climbing on my back to get right in the middle of the bed to find “her” spot. Within seconds she is fast asleep. I, on the other hand, am slightly annoyed and uncomfortable. Take this routine and multiply it by seven and you have my week.

Aggravated with the sleeping conditions in my house, I naturally turned to the internet to help. All of those baby sites must have some heavenly advice to get my child back in bed and me not clinging on to the edge of the bed like I’m going to fall off a cliff. Of course many of the “experts” say you just have to keep walking them back to their beds. Trust me, I’ve done that plenty of times. It only leads to a repeat performance an hour or so later and me drinking a gallon of coffee the next day. A real lose-lose if you ask me. Other sites suggested putting a sleeping bag along my bed so she is in the room but not attached to my back. I can tell you that would go over like throwing away all the Caillou videos in my house. So, that option is out the window. There was one suggestion that peaked my interest…the sleep fairy. I had never heard of this magical creature. I think she’s the tooth fairy’s third cousin. See, she leaves little gifts under kids’ pillows when they sleep in their beds the whole night. If you’re not in your bed, she can’t find you, thus you lose out. I really thought this would work. I told my daughter all about this wonderful fairy who was going to make all of our dreams come true. Her eyes lit up and I thought we were really onto something. After a couple of nights of still sleeping in our bed, she asked why the sleep fairy didn’t come and leave her a gift. I explained for the 100th time that she had to sleep in her bed for this gimmick to work. She said “oh” and finished her pretend picnic. Let me tell you, she could care less. The sleep fairy better find another house. Ugh.

My next step was to talk to the pediatrician during her yearly check-up. She also suggested the sleeping bag thing. When I told her that would never work, she suggested a sticker chart with a reward system. You see, I had been taking things away because my daughter wasn’t sleeping in her bed. I was told to try positive reinforcement instead. How about me booking a room at the Hyatt? That sounds pretty positive to me. So instead, I introduced the whole sticker chart thing with a tier of prizes. The first would be a trip to Nuvita for frozen yogurt. She loves that place so I thought this had to work. Well, a week later I have sheets of princess stickers, an empty calendar, and a craving for Nuvita. Ugh.

The doctor did say she would grow out of this. I mean how many 15 year-olds do you know who still sleep in their parent’s beds? So, I guess there is still hope. Until then, perhaps I have to bring the sleep fairy with us to Nuvita with stickers and a calendar for all of this to work.

Why You Need to Read This Blog

As a mom and blogger I read a lot of stuff online. Some things make me laugh. Some things make me cry. Some things I don’t even finish reading because they are a waste of my time. Then there are some things that become so stuck in my brain that it’s just crazy. Recently, a blog I read did just that.

A friend of mine shared a post by Rachel Martin about why being mom is enough. I have to admit I’ve read and wrote plenty of these kinds of posts so many times before that I almost glazed right over it. But that morning as I was scrolling down my Facebook page, I was thinking about life and how sometimes staying/working from home drives me nuts. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and am happy with my life as it is right now, but sometimes I look at my “to do” list and think how pathetic it looks. When you’re biggest decision of the day is whether to cook mac and cheese or chicken nuggets for lunch, you begin to reassess your life and your choices. I didn’t need an expensive college education for that, now did I? Unfortunately, society makes women think there is something wrong with us if we choose to “just be a mom”. With that said, I decided to click on this link. I am so glad I did.

As I was reading it, I felt like Rachel had been in my house watching my every move because it sounded like a scene right out of my day. From the morning routine to the almost pulling your hair out by noon, I thought Oh my God, this is me! Although you know other moms are going through the same stuff, on this day, it was especially comforting to read her words. I felt like she was actually talking to me, telling me to just chill out and be grateful. It’s okay to just be a mom.

Through all the hustle and bustle of the day, it’s so easy to forget the little things that make motherhood enjoyable. Reading books, playing outside, playing dolls…I think you get the idea. We get so caught up with trying to be some type of supermom, that we forget that these little things are really the big things.

So, although I may not be making life altering decisions all day, the time I spend just being a mom really is enough…even on the days when I think it’s not. That’s why I found this blog so uplifting. When you stay at home with your kids you don’t have a fancy project to be proud of at the end of the week or some big paycheck to cash, and that can become depressing at times. But, you do have lots of hugs and smiles that really do mean a lot more, even if we forget them at times.

If you’re a mom in need of some words of encouragement, check out this blog. You’ll thank me later.

I Love Birthdays

Every since I can remember I’ve loved birthdays. Whether it was mine or someone else’s, I loved everything about them. The cake, the gifts, the parties…there was just nothing bad about a birthday. Now that I have kids of my own, I love them even more. There’s just something about seeing a little face light up when all the spotlight is shining on them.

With that said, there’s also a lot of pressure to make their day as special as it can be. At least that’s the way I feel. Now that my older daughter gets the whole birthday thing, I don’t want to let her down. Truth be told, I don’t really think she cares what she eats or what she does. But for some reason, I do. So I made sure this year I asked her what she wanted to do and where she wanted to eat. Of course she picked her favorite restaurant…Texas Roadhouse. But, she surprised me when it came to what she wanted to do. I thought she would want to go somewhere different or do something different. But, she just wanted to play outside with her toys and ride her bike. Easy for me! Let me tell you, she was so happy. So, perhaps all that self imposed momma pressure was for nothing? Hmmm..

I noticed that she just liked the fact that it was her birthday. She kept telling everyone she was the birthday girl. Unfortunately at age four she gets the whole present thing and does look forward to certain things…like a doctor’s set. That’s all she’s been talking about for months now. I honestly think if she didn’t get that, there would have been some disappointment. Luckily though, mom and dad fulfilled that request.

I’m sure as she gets older the birthday requests will get more demanding and much more expensive. So, I think for now I’m going to enjoy just buying a doctor’s set and playing outside. I thought I would need to do so much more to make her day special, but sometimes simple is better.

The Strangest & Most Annoying Thing

As a mom, I always dream of having my free time. I mean really, what mom doesn’t? After hours of puzzles, coloring, and Barbies, I just want time to myself to do what I want without hearing “mommy”. Read, write, watch TV, nap (yeah right)…whatever it is, I want to be able to just do what I want. So why do I sometimes feel lost when I actually get it? Let me tell you, it is the strangest and most annoying thing.

Recently, I hit the “mommy lottery”. My oldest daughter decided she wanted to sleepover her grandmother’s house “just because” and my younger daughter fell asleep uncharacteristically early. My husband was still at work.OMG, hours of free time! You would think I would have been doing my happy dance. I was…for a few minutes. Then, the strangest and most annoying thing happened…I didn’t know what to do with myself. Although I had a list of things on my “to do list”, I couldn’t figure out what I should be doing. In fact, I actually felt like the house was too quiet! How odd is that? I often pray for peace and quiet. Here it was staring me in the face and I still wasn’t happy.

There are plenty of times when I either leave the kids with grandma or drop them off and go do things and I am fine with that. I just think the tranquility of the house got to me because this wasn’t how it was supposed to be. The norm is noise, laughing, screaming…chaos. As much as I complain about it, it’s the way it’s supposed to be with two kids. It’s the way I’ve gotten used to things. So any interruption in the routine kinda weirds me out, I guess.

Eventually, I got some writing done that night and put some laundry away. I have to admit, the night felt so much longer with so much quietness. I was actually looking forward to the morning when my little one would be awake and her sister would be home.

Maybe it’s a case of “be careful what you wish for” or “motherhood changes everything”. Whatever it was, it really was the strangest and most annoying thing.