POST CATEGORY : Parenting

Tell Me What You Really Think

   Sometimes it really amazes me how nervy strangers can be at times. Here’s the story that got me all fired up…We were on vacation last week and my daughter was playing on the beach. She went over to a little girl around her age and started picking up some of her toys. After telling her to stop, the little girl’s mother invited my daughter to go over and play. Since my daughter is so friendly, (she can become BFF’s with a rock, I think she definitely gets that from her father) we walked over.

  At first, all was well. The little girls were playing in the sand. I was sharing some mindless conversation with this other mom. I can’t even tell you what we were talking about. That’s how unimportant it was. But,then it started. The girls got up to get some more water for their pails. The other little girl had her water shoes on as she walked to the water. My daughter did not. So, the other mom asked me if we had water shoes. I answered yes, but my little one doesn’t really like shoes, so she took them off. I got an “oh” and some silence. I really didn’t think anything of it. But then when the girl got up the second time, the mom said to me “oh, I really wish she had her shoes on.” She was referring to my little one. Strike One. I told her she was fine, if she had a problem, she would be screaming. She made it seem like we were walking on hot coals to hell. It was just a few rocks, toughen up lady.
  I was getting a little annoyed, but decided to stick around because the girls were having fun. Then this uncensored Momma asked me how many words my daughter says. I simply answered “a few.” Then she asked me if “we do” daycare. I answered that I am fortunate enough to have my mom and mother-in-law babysit while I work, so I don’t have to pay for daycare. Then she told me that once she sent her daughter to daycare, her vocabulary grew so much because grandma wasn’t “doting on her.” Strike Two. By this time I wanted to throw her in the ocean. Who the heck are you lady? You’re asking me so many questions and I’ve only known you for five minutes and hopefully we will never see each other again. During this whole time, I’ve kept the conversation light and impersonal, while she’s giving me advice and putting her two cents in…heck…she’s putting in a whole dime.
  I stood there and looked away as she got down on the sand to help her daughter build a “water wall”. My daughter must have sensed my frustration because she started to take her plastic shovel and scoop the wall away. The lady kept trying to build it back up. My daughter kept pushing it down. Build…push..build…push. This was getting fun. Normally I would have told her to stop. But, I just didn’t feel like it. Then the mother of the year said ,”oh let’s not push down the wall honey.” Strike Three. You’re out and we’re outta here. I mustered every nice bone left in my body and told my daughter Daddy was calling her and he wanted to go check out the pool. All I had to say was Daddy, and she dropped the shovel and we were out. Although I wanted to kick sand in this lady’s face, I simply said bye and see you later. Peace Out.
  Maybe it’s just me, but I’m not so open with my thoughts and opinions with complete strangers when it comes to parenting advice. If some of those words were coming from a trusted friend or relative, I may have listened. I would still have complained, but I would have listened. I just couldn’t believe how high and mighty this lady thought she and her kid were. Mind you, her daughter wasn’t reciting the encyclopedia while playing in the sand or quoting Shakespeare. I wanted to ask her where all those extensive vocabulary words were hiding. In the sand? In her water shoes?
  Although I walked away annoyed, there was a lesson learned. Next time I encounter someone like this on the beach I need to go grab the water shoes and throw one at the mom-zilla!

Time Out

 I love timeouts. Not for my daughter, but for me, and not in the context of getting punished or anything like that. Just a good old time out for relaxing. Which, by the way, needs to happen more often I’ve decided. Easy you say. Wrong I say. But that’s what weekends are for, you say. Not always, I say. That’s what extra days off are for, I say. I finally had one that wasn’t taken over by a “to do” list. The only thing “to do” was to go to the beach. Mission Accomplished.

  It may sound dumb, but the beach day was just what I needed. I packed up my daughter and all our paraphernalia and off we were. I used to go to the beach with just a chair and one bag. Now there’s a chair, a beach bag, a diaper bag, a bag of beach toys, and a cooler for those GoGurts. That may not sound relaxing, but I’m getting there.
  Once we got everything settled and met up with our friends, my daughter and I were in our glory. She played with those sand toys for nearly four hours! She didn’t even know I existed, until she wanted to walk to the water. I really couldn’t believe it. Usually she gets bored with a toy in no time. Her obession with the sand allowed me to get some sun, chat it up, and just relax. There were no dishes in the sink calling my name or crumbs whispering to get picked up. There was just the sound of ocean and the breeze. I definetly like those sounds so much better.
  Listening to the those sounds and pretty much doing nothing took up most of the day. My daughter didn’t want to go home and neither did I. But when we did leave, my head felt a lot clearer on the ride home. I felt refreshed, My daughter felt tired, she fell asleep in two-point-two seconds! I wasn’t agitated and didn’t feel like I was going to scream like a raging female dog (which is usually the case these days, but I’m blaming the pregnancy hormones!). I simply felt calm. Time for another time out!

Too Much Too Soon?

  We all know kids grow up too fast, but from some of the things I’ve seen lately, I think we’re giving them no choice, and it’s really starting to bug me. First of all, some call them cute, but I don’t think toddlers and pre-schoolers need to wear two-piece itsy bitsy teenie-weenie yellow polka dot bikinis. You can say I’m a prude, but I think little girls don’t need to show so much skin. If they’re showing that much at 3 and 5, what are they going to wear at 13 and 16? With so many pervs out there, I think you’re only fueling the fire. On the practical side, if they wear a one piece, that’s just less sunscreen to put on. If you’ve ever tried to put sunscreen on a kid, you know it’s not a fun experience.
  Another thing that’s been getting under my skin is this report I saw on designer clothes for babies and toddlers. Call me cheap, but does a 6 month-old need to wear Dior or Versace? It’s still going to stain when they spit up on it, poop on it, or smear sweet potatoes all over it. The difference is, when the stains don’t come out, you’re not going to be out 10 or 15 bucks, you’ll be out a couple of hundred. But, hey, atleast your kid looks cute, right? Wrong! Kids grow out of clothes so fast, why would you want to waste your money? I don’t get it.
   I will be the first to admit I buy my daughter’s clothes on sale and use coupons whenever I can. And I’ll let you in on a big secret, I even buy some of her clothes and shoes in Walmart! I know, the humanity! Right now, she has the cutest pair of Walmart brand Garanimals sneakers that she loves. Does she know they’re not Puma or Nike? No. Does she care? No. Do I care? No. Am I saving money? You betcha! These days what’s wrong with saving a few dollars? Here’s an even bigger secret, if I see a cute shirt or something that I like in Walmart I may actually buy it for myself! I know, the fashion gods would have a field day with me!
  I just think that if you teach your kids to be into labels at such an early age, you’re only opening up the door to disaster down the road. If they’re used to designer now, there’s a good chance that’s what they’re always going to want. If you can support that kind of lifestyle until age 18, God bless you. But, I think these days most of us can’t.
  There are so many things that are making kids grow up fast these days, I could go on for hours and hours. This is going to make me sound so old, but when I was growing up, we didn’t have smart phones and internet access at our fingertips. We didn’t text, tweet, Facebook…or God forbid sext! Somehow I survived. I did play video games, I did talk on the phone, but I also read books, and even kept Barbie driving around in her pink metallic corvette for as long as I could. If you couldn’t tell, I didn’t wear high fashion clothes and can’t remember wearing a bikini (but that was probably because I could never really get rid of that baby fat!). Despite no Versace, no phone, and one piece bathing suits, I think I turned out pretty good.  
 
 
 

Milk Money

    Back in the day, kids used to get milk money from their moms. Nowadays, moms are making their own milk money, so to speak. They’re cashing in on their excess breast milk. Perhaps you’ve heard, moms are selling their breast milk and pumping up their bank accounts in the process.

  This stuff really freaks me out. Anyone who knows me can tell you I’m in favor of breast feeding. I’m not a member of “La Leche League” or anything like that, but I think it’s great for the baby, good for bonding, and not to mention a fabulous way to lose that baby weight quickly without much effort. But I think your breast milk, should be for your kid, not for some random babies across the country.That’s just me.
   I’ve been doing a lot of reading about this because I just find it intriguing and completely odd at the same time. Apparently, some women are earning hundreds of dollars a month. Now I get it. It’s just that when you’re breastfeeding you kinda already feel like a dairy cow, now some women are really becoming one. While some produce just cups a day, others can produce gallons. As many of you may know, even if you freeze it, breast milk does have a shelf life. So these women have found a way to not let anything go to waste.
   Besides the fact that the whole thing just creeps me out, you gotta think about the health factor.Your breast milk has nutrients YOUR body makes for YOUR baby. Some babies are already allergic to their own mother’s breast milk, so why would you want to take a chance with a stranger’s? In fact, even the FDA is not recommending people buy breast milk on the open market because it could lead to disease. Why would you want to put your baby at risk? I say if you can’t make it, breast may not be best, and formula should be the way to go.
  I’ve heard some people say selling breast milk is no different than accepting donated blood or going to a sperm bank. If you look at it as if you’re just taking another bodily fluid then I guess you could make your case. But, I’m not convinced. If breast milk were something that should be shared with everyone and bought by anyone, I would find it in the dairy section at Stop & Shop. But I don’t. Who knows though, someday that could be coming! Never say never!

Front Seat Rider

   I really thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. Nope, I did see a woman holding a baby in the front seat of a minivan while approaching the toll booth to go over the George Washington Bridge. There was tons of traffic. People switching lanes everywhere, horns beeping, hand gestures flying. In the middle of all this chaos, that little baby unprotected in the front seat of that minivan.  In fact, everyone in the SUV along with me saw it too and had the same reaction I did. What was she thinking?
   When you become a parent, you take on a major responsibility whether you want it or not, and whether you’re ready for it or not. You are now responsible for another life. Period. That means it’s your job to protect that little person and be there for them in every way that you can. In my opinion, protecting them is not putting them in the front seat of your minvan with no seatbelt and no protection.
   We all know kids are supposed to ride in the backseat (or atleast most of us know that). The American Academy of Pediatrics now recommends children stay rear facing in the back seat of the car until they’re two or until they’ve met the height or weight requirements of the car seat. Many states also have laws. Interestingly enough, I went to look up the laws in New Jersey, which is where we were when we witnessed this front seat ride that almost made me have a heart attack. Wouldn’t you know, New Jersey, like many states, requires kids up to age 8 or 80 pounds ride in the back, unless the car has no rear seat. Trust me there was plenty of rear seats in that minivan.
   I would love to know what that woman was thinking. She was no spring chicken, so I would assume she was familiar with the law, or atleast with common sense. Was she the mom? Did she bring the baby in the front because he or she was crying, hungry, lonely, what? Couldn’t have she just gone in the back with the baby? Why didn’t the driver say something? I don’t know. I’ll never know. What I do know is that I said a little prayer for that baby. I hope that minivan got to its destination safely so that little baby wasn’t the victim of someone’s stupidity.
 

Hey, Your Baby Can Read… Really?

 
   Okay, I’m coming clean. I became so mesmerized with the “Your Baby Can Read” commercial that I actually ordered the reading system that promises to help your child learn to read. But, it wasn’t just the commercial that made me run to jot down the number and grab my phone and MasterCard. During my daughter’s last well visit, the pediatrician asked how many words were in her vocabulary. My husband and I looked at each other, trying not to laugh. Vocabulary? Um, she was 15 months at the time. She doesn’t really have a vocabulary. Then it got me thinking. Is she behind? Is she a slow learner? What’s the deal? Maybe I need some help.
   We read together constantly and she really seems to enjoy it. So, I thought “Your Baby Can Read” would be the perfect next step to help move things along. In case you’re not familiar, the set comes with several DVDs, books, and flashcards all aimed at teaching words and promoting reading. I guess you’re supposed to start when the kids are younger, but the guy over the phone said it was o-k if I started now, and gullible me said o-k.
   I should have known something was up when I called and they said the $14.95 price advertised was just for the 30 day trial. If I decided to keep it, they were going to charge my credit card three monthly payments of 60-something-dollars. Again, I said o-k. I really believed this was the key to my child becoming the next Einstein.
So, the huge box arrives. There were so many DVDs and books, it looked like I robbed the library. I started reading the parents’ instructions and off we were with the the first DVD.
   Problem one…I couldn’t get my daughter to sit still to watch two minutes of the dumb DVD. So, I watched it and thought how does this stuff really work? Hmmm. Next were the flashcards. Attention span…5 minutes. We tried this routine for the next four days. Then, I finally decided I’m wasting my time and hers. She’s not buying this, and now I’m not either. (At least she’s the smart one!).
   When I called the company to get information to return it, the rep asked me if I wanted more time. I said no, my daughter is clearly not interested in it. She won’t sit and watch the DVDs. Then the lady said, “Well, are you watching them with her?” Really lady? I bit my tongue and simply said yes, but told her I still wanted to return the stuff.
   Days after sending it back, I heard on the news that the FTC is questioning the company’s reading promises and has filed a complaint claiming “Your Baby Can Read” uses deceptive advertising. I could have told you that one. My baby may not be able to read yet, but she sure knows a scam when she sees one.
Just curious, has anyone had success with this program?

Our Most Precious Gift

   Children are our most precious gift. Seems like a “duh” statement, but how many times do we forget that? Whether they’re an infant, a toddler, or a teen…kids are a challenge and quite bluntly, can be a pain at times. They can cry, they can whine, they can scream at you, but what would you do if they suddenly vanished? It’s safe to say you would be lost. Even when my daughter has a one-night sleepover at Grandma or Nonna’s house, our house just isn’t the same when we wake up the next morning. It feels empty. Something is missing. Funny, before she came along, it would feel normal…it would feel complete. But, now it’s simply not. Children have a way of grabbing onto our hearts, making us vulnerable, but at the same time tough as nails because we would do anything to defend them and keep them out of harms’ way. But what happens when you can’t protect them?
   I have to say, I had a totally different topic chosen to blog about this week, but the recent story about a missing girl made me change my mind. As a news producer, I often glaze pass stories because they become just another accident, just another fire. But some stories pull you in, tug on your human side…and this is one of them. The outpouring of emotion from people from all walks of life when it comes to this story is really amazing. I think it’s because we all know how innocent children are. Children should be untouchable. They shouldn’t have to experience pain or sorrow. But too many times they do and it’s heartbreaking. Fortunately, this story had a happy ending. The little girl was found safe. It turns out she ran away and luckily didn’t get into any trouble. But often times, we hear stories where that is not the case.
   When you hear stories involving kids getting hurt it really makes you hold on to yours a little tighter. It really makes you think. What would you do if you woke up tomorrow morning and your child was suddenly gone and you had no clue where he or she could be?
   I freak out when my daughter hides in the bathroom for a minute. I can’t imagine her out there in the world by herself or worse with someone who could harm her. That’s why you have to treasure every moment you have with your children, even when they drive you nuts. Simply put, you just never know what can happen. So tonight, give your child an extra hug and kiss…why? Just because. That’s reason enough.